Here it is, 5am, and I haven't been to bed yet.
I've been sitting here at my desk all night, I have two little candles to light my way as I type, just surfing the net, blog reading, forum reading, doing anything and everything but what I should be doing, which is sleeping.
I even started a load of laundry an hour ago just to have something to do.
I finally caught up on all 132 emails I had sitting in my inbox, I even checked 3 other email accounts I had and cleared out all the spam.
I broke a nail when I got up to pee a few minutes ago, just trying to scratch my back.
Kind of a bummer because now I'll have to trim down all my other nails to have matching heights.
It sucks actually, because they were all pretty damn long and healthy.
Well mostly healthy.
Can't be too healthy if they're snapping off when I scratch my back right?
Or maybe I was scratching too hard because I still can't feel the skin on my back.
I know it itches, I can scratch it, but I can't feel myself scratching.
I have so much going on in my head, all kinds of thoughts, things I want to say but won't because it will just create more problems, and after 15 years, the child support is finally at an amount I'm ok with.
No, it's still not great, but $78 per week is a HUGE improvement over the $21 per week we had been getting for the last 15 frigging years.
I already know how the hearing is going to go tomorrow, er, today, because the DA called me, it's a done deal, we all just have to say out-loud that we agree.
Part of me wants to say no! I don't agree! because it's still not right, it's still not a truly acceptable amount, but it's the best that can be done under the circumstances.
I tried.
I have been trying for the last 10 years, and to finally have my case before the judge is such a big deal yet at the same time, a total letdown because the rules weren't followed, everyone didn't play along like they were supposed to.
I did everything I was court ordered to do, and I was actually hopeful to be allowed to have my say to the judge, to tell him what $21 per week has been like for 15 years, and I don't get that chance.
I actually wrote out what I would say if asked, and maybe after this whole thing is really a done deal tomorrow afternoon, I mean, this afternoon, I'll post what I typed out.
15 years of pent up frustration with a system that somehow justified such a piddly amount, you have no idea how that feels.
You have no idea how hard I tried, how much I fought to make it right, and it still isn't.
====================
I've been sitting here at my desk all night, I have two little candles to light my way as I type, just surfing the net, blog reading, forum reading, doing anything and everything but what I should be doing, which is sleeping.
I even started a load of laundry an hour ago just to have something to do.
I finally caught up on all 132 emails I had sitting in my inbox, I even checked 3 other email accounts I had and cleared out all the spam.
I broke a nail when I got up to pee a few minutes ago, just trying to scratch my back.
Kind of a bummer because now I'll have to trim down all my other nails to have matching heights.
It sucks actually, because they were all pretty damn long and healthy.
Well mostly healthy.
Can't be too healthy if they're snapping off when I scratch my back right?
Or maybe I was scratching too hard because I still can't feel the skin on my back.
I know it itches, I can scratch it, but I can't feel myself scratching.
I have so much going on in my head, all kinds of thoughts, things I want to say but won't because it will just create more problems, and after 15 years, the child support is finally at an amount I'm ok with.
No, it's still not great, but $78 per week is a HUGE improvement over the $21 per week we had been getting for the last 15 frigging years.
I already know how the hearing is going to go tomorrow, er, today, because the DA called me, it's a done deal, we all just have to say out-loud that we agree.
Part of me wants to say no! I don't agree! because it's still not right, it's still not a truly acceptable amount, but it's the best that can be done under the circumstances.
I tried.
I have been trying for the last 10 years, and to finally have my case before the judge is such a big deal yet at the same time, a total letdown because the rules weren't followed, everyone didn't play along like they were supposed to.
I did everything I was court ordered to do, and I was actually hopeful to be allowed to have my say to the judge, to tell him what $21 per week has been like for 15 years, and I don't get that chance.
I actually wrote out what I would say if asked, and maybe after this whole thing is really a done deal tomorrow afternoon, I mean, this afternoon, I'll post what I typed out.
15 years of pent up frustration with a system that somehow justified such a piddly amount, you have no idea how that feels.
You have no idea how hard I tried, how much I fought to make it right, and it still isn't.
$78.00 is not good but not terrible. There is maybe one thing you could have the DA bring up and that is contributing to their healthcare. Mine was set up that Jeff's dad has to pay 50% of what the insurance does not pay. I of course pay the other 50%. It's a compromise that I thought was 100% fair. When Jeff was taken to the ER because of his ingrown toe nail got so out of hand and I received the bill. The insurance paid all but $200. So I send out a copy of the invoice and when Roy received it he called and asked if he could make payments. $10.oo a week. I told him that would be fine. At least I know he accepts his part of it. The Child support you will be getting will not make a huge difference but it will help. Good luck on your hearing.
It's 12:59 now and I'm sending everything I've got your way!
I think this all feels even more ridiculous to me, knowing how much my mother is paying to my father in back-owed child support, when she shouldn't be.