So the heaping pile of garbage was out there, and there were many trash-pickers all night long.
Then at about 8pm or so, this crazy lady from down the street comes banging on my door.
She wants my permission to go digging through there, wants the old mattresses, the old kitchen table that she swears is antique.
She wants all this stuff so that she can fix up the duplex she owns and rent it out to unsuspecting tourists like it's commercial real estate.
She's standing in my driveway, made me walk all the way down to the pile of crap, and she's in a nightgown, no bra, no panties, could see right through it, and she's telling me about all the xanax she just popped, so sorry if she's talking so fast and stuff.
I tried explaining to her that she didn't really want any of that stuff, that it was pee'd on, and there were cockroaches, and it all smelled bad like mold and stuff, but she just kept saying that she could decontaminate anything.
She said she had gallons and gallons of bleach.
She was going to mix up a solution that was mostly bleach, and she was going to spray it all down and make it like new.
She had her "boys" come over and start hauling the mattresses and stuff, and then she's asking me if there's another rollerblade.
She only found one in the trashcan, she wanted both.
I must have told her 10 times that this wasn't my garbage, but go ahead, take what you want, but make sure the pile stays as neat as it can be because the garbage people are coming tomorrow.
Every time I tried to walk away, she would ask me another question.
I couldn't get back in the house fast enough.
====================
She wants my permission to go digging through there, wants the old mattresses, the old kitchen table that she swears is antique.
She wants all this stuff so that she can fix up the duplex she owns and rent it out to unsuspecting tourists like it's commercial real estate.
She's standing in my driveway, made me walk all the way down to the pile of crap, and she's in a nightgown, no bra, no panties, could see right through it, and she's telling me about all the xanax she just popped, so sorry if she's talking so fast and stuff.
I tried explaining to her that she didn't really want any of that stuff, that it was pee'd on, and there were cockroaches, and it all smelled bad like mold and stuff, but she just kept saying that she could decontaminate anything.
She said she had gallons and gallons of bleach.
She was going to mix up a solution that was mostly bleach, and she was going to spray it all down and make it like new.
She had her "boys" come over and start hauling the mattresses and stuff, and then she's asking me if there's another rollerblade.
She only found one in the trashcan, she wanted both.
I must have told her 10 times that this wasn't my garbage, but go ahead, take what you want, but make sure the pile stays as neat as it can be because the garbage people are coming tomorrow.
Every time I tried to walk away, she would ask me another question.
I couldn't get back in the house fast enough.
