I feel like my belly is protruding, distended, puffed out because, well, this could very well be a TMI (too much information) post.
I'm constipated.
See, opiate pain relievers constipate you, there is no way around this other than to take some sort of stool softener.
I don't recommend taking a laxative if you have to take opiate pain relievers because laxatives work too well, and then you never get out of the bathroom, but you always forget to buy stool softeners until it's too late, until you're well on your way to full blown discomfort.
And every single time this happens, while I'm sitting there on the cold porcelain, I always, always, think of the movie Trainspotting,
and the line the main character Mark "Rent-boy" Renton played by Ewan McGregor, narrates after he's decided to stop doing heroin and has had to settle for some morphine suppositories as his "last hit".
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: [narrating] Heroin makes you constipated. The heroin from my last hit was fading, and the suppositories had yet to melt.
[moans loudly, doubles over]
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: I'm no longer constipated.
The scene that follows is truly hysterical as he has to run and find a bathroom, and finds the worst toilet in all of Scotland.
It's a foul and disgusting scene, but as I'm sitting there in my bathroom scolding myself for not buying some Senocot or something, I think of that scene and laugh.
====================
I'm constipated.
See, opiate pain relievers constipate you, there is no way around this other than to take some sort of stool softener.
I don't recommend taking a laxative if you have to take opiate pain relievers because laxatives work too well, and then you never get out of the bathroom, but you always forget to buy stool softeners until it's too late, until you're well on your way to full blown discomfort.
And every single time this happens, while I'm sitting there on the cold porcelain, I always, always, think of the movie Trainspotting,
and the line the main character Mark "Rent-boy" Renton played by Ewan McGregor, narrates after he's decided to stop doing heroin and has had to settle for some morphine suppositories as his "last hit".Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: [narrating] Heroin makes you constipated. The heroin from my last hit was fading, and the suppositories had yet to melt.
[moans loudly, doubles over]
Mark "Rent-boy" Renton: I'm no longer constipated.
The scene that follows is truly hysterical as he has to run and find a bathroom, and finds the worst toilet in all of Scotland.
It's a foul and disgusting scene, but as I'm sitting there in my bathroom scolding myself for not buying some Senocot or something, I think of that scene and laugh.
