The surgery, not right now anyway.
My surgeon is someone I trust so much, you have no idea how much I trust that man.
He has never lied to me about any of the risks, how I would be after the surgery, any difficulties I would face when I came home, anything.
He always looks me dead in the eye and tells me the honest truth about everything, so when he looked me in the eyes on Wednesday and told me all of the risks, no matter how small, and then asked me to consider not doing and his feelings on why, I knew, I know, that I have to trust him.
Even though he would be operating above me and his surgeon partner below me, and the same entire surgical team that has been in there with my previous surgeries, measuring and adjusting, and doing everything that they can to try and make my head be straight, something is telling him, worrying him, that it would over correct and I would end up facing upward.
I could see it in his eyes, I have had so many talks with this man over the years, I know how to read him, and I know that look in his eyes was genuine worry that it would have over corrected and come out facing up.
I am going to call him tomorrow and tell him to cancel the operating room, for now, and for him to keep looking for a way to fix me with less risks, to keep talking to other surgeons in this field, maybe one of them will know how to do it better some day, maybe one of them will know how to do it without all of the risks.
Medical science is constantly changing, they are always finding new ways of doing things, so maybe they will find a new way to do this in a year or 2, or 5, who knows, I just have to hang in there and wait.
And he said he will always help me, if I end up having too much pain, he will help me, he'll do whatever he can to help me until the day comes that we find a way to fix this without so many risks to my body and life.
Facing up would be a thousand times worse than facing down, I would not be able to live that way, there's no way, I wouldn't.
Facing down has been a nightmare that I can't wake up from, facing up would push me over the psychological edge and that would be the end of me, I would never mentally recover from that.
So now I can stop searching so hard for the best term life insurance quotes , I have time to find a good plan at reasonable rates that I can afford so that when they do find a way to fix me, if something goes wrong, there will be money to pay for my cremation.
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My surgeon is someone I trust so much, you have no idea how much I trust that man.
He has never lied to me about any of the risks, how I would be after the surgery, any difficulties I would face when I came home, anything.
He always looks me dead in the eye and tells me the honest truth about everything, so when he looked me in the eyes on Wednesday and told me all of the risks, no matter how small, and then asked me to consider not doing and his feelings on why, I knew, I know, that I have to trust him.
Even though he would be operating above me and his surgeon partner below me, and the same entire surgical team that has been in there with my previous surgeries, measuring and adjusting, and doing everything that they can to try and make my head be straight, something is telling him, worrying him, that it would over correct and I would end up facing upward.
I could see it in his eyes, I have had so many talks with this man over the years, I know how to read him, and I know that look in his eyes was genuine worry that it would have over corrected and come out facing up.
I am going to call him tomorrow and tell him to cancel the operating room, for now, and for him to keep looking for a way to fix me with less risks, to keep talking to other surgeons in this field, maybe one of them will know how to do it better some day, maybe one of them will know how to do it without all of the risks.
Medical science is constantly changing, they are always finding new ways of doing things, so maybe they will find a new way to do this in a year or 2, or 5, who knows, I just have to hang in there and wait.
And he said he will always help me, if I end up having too much pain, he will help me, he'll do whatever he can to help me until the day comes that we find a way to fix this without so many risks to my body and life.
Facing up would be a thousand times worse than facing down, I would not be able to live that way, there's no way, I wouldn't.
Facing down has been a nightmare that I can't wake up from, facing up would push me over the psychological edge and that would be the end of me, I would never mentally recover from that.
So now I can stop searching so hard for the best term life insurance quotes , I have time to find a good plan at reasonable rates that I can afford so that when they do find a way to fix me, if something goes wrong, there will be money to pay for my cremation.
Sometimes you just know in your gut that it's okay to trust someone like this. I think it's awesome that there are doctors like your surgeon still out there, who are honest with patients and aren't knife-happy and out for whatever money they can get.
As you know, we've had to deal with bad doctor nightmares lately, and it's been hard to trust anyone. I know what it's like to have doctors who just do sales pitches, never look you in the eye, are evasive about hard questions, and worst of all, barely spend any time with you during appointments.
And as you know, listening to Mike's now former doctor's advice landed him back in the hospital. I never liked the guy, and I also knew that he probably had a job because his daddy is a bigwig at the hospital. I had been trying to get him to find new doctors for years, long before all of this happened. But he always had excuses, he didn't have time, no docs are taking new patients, no one would be any better, etc.
Trust your own gut feeling. Your surgeon sounds like a good doctor who really cares about patients, and not the bottom line. I think you made the right choice, to postpone it for now, and see what other options he can offer you.
Hi Kat, Browsing the Internet one day I found your blogs and also Brandi's Twisted Chick blog and I check in on both of you every so often. It's so odd to know someone only through their writing. It's also odd to feel a connection with someone you've never met, but I suppose that's because your writing is so personal and we share the experience of having gone through horrendous spinal surgeries, and are both single moms...
I've been reading this blog and your My Single Mom Life blog for a while and thought it only fair to "introduce" myself.
I had an impulse to write you when you wrote about your doctor asking you to consider not going through with the surgery. I held back because for me it was hard enough hearing the opinions of friends and family members (often uninformed). I figured you didn't need the opinion of a complete stranger. I must admit now that I am really happy to learn that you are holding off. I know how hard it is to get yourself mentally prepared for surgery and so I really felt for you when you were asked to reconsider so late in the game.
If you would like to vent or hear my two cents, contact me.