I've been trying to help Mark with his plans for the future for months now, and it always feels like we get just a little bit further along in deciding what he'll go to school for, and then we take not just 3 steps back, but more like 10 steps back.
We've talked about maybe going for fire service training before, about getting a masters in public safety administration, or maybe he can go for an online Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership for fire service management.
I emailed him the link to Lewis University which is an online accredited school, sent him links to several of their classes to work toward getting an online Bachelor of Arts in fire service training.
A Bachelor of Arts in fire service training would give him the skills and information necessary to become a supervisor, train officers, train forest fire fighters, fire inspectors, and fire investigators.
Like I said, I get pretty far along, so so I think, I get him talking about it, excited about it, I get him reading up on it, and I encourage him like a mad woman, to give this some serious consideration.
But then just a few days later, he's no longer interested, and when I ask him what's up, he tells me that all of his life, he's had his heart set on being a police officer, a cop out on the streets, a beat cop.
He wants to wear the blues and badge, he wants to be out there walking down the street, talking to people, helping people, making himself a proud, welcomed, and trusted part of the community that he lives and works in.
He says that he knows that he can never be a beat cop, he knows this in his head, he knows this in his heart, he knows that he has to find something else to do, and he knows that there are so so many ways that he can be a proud, welcomed, and trusted part of the community in some other way by being a crime scene investigator, a forensic investigator, a fire investigator or inspector, something else, but still a huge an integral part of the serve and protect community in which he lives, but he also knows that it's not what he's always wanted to be and he's so very upset about it.
He's sad, hurt, angry, and terribly disappointed that his lifelong dream is over.
It breaks my heart so so much to know this, to know that he's not happy and unable to live his dream job.
I've always told the boys since they were very little that I didn't want them to live the kind of life that I did, working whatever job was out there that I could get hired at, just to pay the bills.
I didn't want them to just work "some job" to pay the bills and live paycheck to paycheck like I did.
I told them to find not a job, but to pick a career, to find something that they absolutely love to do, would be proud to do, and would be excited about doing every single day for the rest of their lives.
Mark had that, he had his dream career all picked out, all planned out, he's been excited about being a cop since he was little, and now he can't.
When I tell you that he had it all planned out, I really mean it, he had it all planned out.
he knew what kinds of classes would be best to take in high school, he knew exactly what kind of courses to take in college, he knew what time of year was the best time of year to apply at the police academy, he knew what teachers at the State College of Florida (formerly MCC, Manatee Community College) were the best teachers to have and talk to about the police academy, which teachers would write recommendations, and he already had 7 people who had agreed to write him glowing recommendations to help him get into the police academy.
He had police officers, former police officers, teachers, personal references, and even a judge who he met through his Big, George, who he spent over an hour talking to one night at a party at George's house for the holidays.
He had it all planned and worked out, he was excited about his future, and it was all taken away from him in one fell swoop of bad genes.
It's so heartbreaking trying to help him plan his future all over again, try to get him excited about a new career path for his life.
I try to get him talking about it as often as I can so that he doesn't just give up on it, give up on having a career that he can do and love just as much as he wanted and loved the idea of being a cop.
I will NOT give up on it, I will NOT give up on him, but at times it's devastatingly heartbreaking to hear him talk about what he wanted to be and do with his life, and hear the passion in his tone of voice.
He still has the passion, it's still there, I just need to help him place that passion into something new, and it's incredibly difficult for me because when I hear that passion, that want, that desire to be a beat cop and hear his voice crumble when he talks about how he can never be a beat cop, I just want to burst into tears.
====================
We've talked about maybe going for fire service training before, about getting a masters in public safety administration, or maybe he can go for an online Master of Arts in Organizational Leadership for fire service management.
I emailed him the link to Lewis University which is an online accredited school, sent him links to several of their classes to work toward getting an online Bachelor of Arts in fire service training.
A Bachelor of Arts in fire service training would give him the skills and information necessary to become a supervisor, train officers, train forest fire fighters, fire inspectors, and fire investigators.
Like I said, I get pretty far along, so so I think, I get him talking about it, excited about it, I get him reading up on it, and I encourage him like a mad woman, to give this some serious consideration.
But then just a few days later, he's no longer interested, and when I ask him what's up, he tells me that all of his life, he's had his heart set on being a police officer, a cop out on the streets, a beat cop.
He wants to wear the blues and badge, he wants to be out there walking down the street, talking to people, helping people, making himself a proud, welcomed, and trusted part of the community that he lives and works in.
He says that he knows that he can never be a beat cop, he knows this in his head, he knows this in his heart, he knows that he has to find something else to do, and he knows that there are so so many ways that he can be a proud, welcomed, and trusted part of the community in some other way by being a crime scene investigator, a forensic investigator, a fire investigator or inspector, something else, but still a huge an integral part of the serve and protect community in which he lives, but he also knows that it's not what he's always wanted to be and he's so very upset about it.
He's sad, hurt, angry, and terribly disappointed that his lifelong dream is over.
It breaks my heart so so much to know this, to know that he's not happy and unable to live his dream job.
I've always told the boys since they were very little that I didn't want them to live the kind of life that I did, working whatever job was out there that I could get hired at, just to pay the bills.
I didn't want them to just work "some job" to pay the bills and live paycheck to paycheck like I did.
I told them to find not a job, but to pick a career, to find something that they absolutely love to do, would be proud to do, and would be excited about doing every single day for the rest of their lives.
Mark had that, he had his dream career all picked out, all planned out, he's been excited about being a cop since he was little, and now he can't.
When I tell you that he had it all planned out, I really mean it, he had it all planned out.
he knew what kinds of classes would be best to take in high school, he knew exactly what kind of courses to take in college, he knew what time of year was the best time of year to apply at the police academy, he knew what teachers at the State College of Florida (formerly MCC, Manatee Community College) were the best teachers to have and talk to about the police academy, which teachers would write recommendations, and he already had 7 people who had agreed to write him glowing recommendations to help him get into the police academy.
He had police officers, former police officers, teachers, personal references, and even a judge who he met through his Big, George, who he spent over an hour talking to one night at a party at George's house for the holidays.
He had it all planned and worked out, he was excited about his future, and it was all taken away from him in one fell swoop of bad genes.
It's so heartbreaking trying to help him plan his future all over again, try to get him excited about a new career path for his life.
I try to get him talking about it as often as I can so that he doesn't just give up on it, give up on having a career that he can do and love just as much as he wanted and loved the idea of being a cop.
I will NOT give up on it, I will NOT give up on him, but at times it's devastatingly heartbreaking to hear him talk about what he wanted to be and do with his life, and hear the passion in his tone of voice.
He still has the passion, it's still there, I just need to help him place that passion into something new, and it's incredibly difficult for me because when I hear that passion, that want, that desire to be a beat cop and hear his voice crumble when he talks about how he can never be a beat cop, I just want to burst into tears.
