Results tagged “migraine” from KatScan

I apologize in advance for the length of this post, but this is a very serious product review of a medical device that claims it can completely relieve pain, "remind the body to heal itself", and strengthen the body's immunity, and many, many other medical claims.

About two months ago, I was contacted by a woman named Cheryl who said she had an amazing product that would help me, help me with my back pain, blood pressure, all kinds of things, and she would love it if I would try it out and review it on my blogs.
I agreed to test it out and I have been using it as she told me to ever since receiving it in the mail.
It's called the Amega Amwand, and it claims to use "zero point energy" to help the body heal itself.
I HATE giving these people a link, but I feel that I need to so that people WILL NOT fall for this scam, I need to warn people that this thing is a total scam and costs hundreds of dollars ($304.00) to buy, and all it is is the body of a ball point pen minus the ink and ink chamber.
It is one solid piece of metal shaped like a pen, it looks exactly like the image above.
You can pretty much tell that this thing is a scam by the url of the website where they sell it.
The url to purchase this thing has the words "CASHRICHES" in it!
Another of their sites is just one big page all about positioning yourself to get in on this amazing money making scheme!

Cheryl told me that in order to get the most benefits from it, to use it properly, all that I needed to do was to simply "wave" the Amwand over my body, the areas that are in pain, in a clockwise circular motion for 30 minutes, 5 times per day.
"It's vital" she said.
She even told me to "wand" my son Mark with it as well because he is having bad back pain too.
Mark laughed at the idea, but he let me use it on him for the entire two months that I've had it and have been testing it out.
Below are the claims that this "wand" can supposedly do to help people.

Usage of AmWand Can:

* Discharge blockages in the body
* Clear distortions in our bio energetic field
* Facilitate the body in healing
* Energize food and drink increasing potency of the minerals & vitamins within them
* Use it on our pets and plants to supplement any energy deficiencies that they have
* Balance and energize imbalances your body may be experiencing
* Help to remove aches, pains and other discomforts
* Lift the face...tightens the skin
* Energize our environment in which we live

Amega AmWand Benefits Can:

* Help the body obtain homeostasis condition
* Help the body's bio-energetic field to source Zero Point Energy
* Relieve aches and pain
* Neutralize harmful elements (energetically) from the liquid we drink, & food we eat
* Energize the skin providing a "face lift" with noticeable improvement
* Energize creams and oils for better absorption of nutrients
* Facilitate and strengthen the flow of energy in our body
* Stimulate bodily functions and strengthens immunity
* Help the body to look and feel younger

You also can have quicker and stronger nail and hair growth, and a greater resistance to tooth decay that is visibly seen. The lifting of the face with noticeable improvement has also brought forth an additional and extremely high interest.

When water is treated with the Zero Point Energy Wand and then used in conjunction with any supplements, they can be absorbed much more quickly and efficiently, and effectively by the body's cells.

I have used the Amega Amwand every single day, five times per day for 30 minutes each session as I was told to do.
I even "wanded" my water with it as I was told to do.
I am here to tell you that the Amega Amwand did absolutely nothing at all for me.
It did not relieve any aches, pains, or other discomforts, it has not helped reduce my blood pressure, and I saw no noticeable improvement in my hair, nails, or face.
It has not helped me to look or feel younger.
It has not helped or strengthened my immunity, as a matter of fact, I've been really sick several times during the last 2 months, and it did not help me get better faster, or at all.
It did not do a single thing that it claims it can do.
The Amega Amwand is a total scam and I feel the need to tell people the truth before they fall for this scam and waste hundreds of dollars on it.

Every day, millions of people live in pain and are desperate to be free from that pain, and would take any kind of supplement or other types of self care items to try and relieve that pain.
If you live with chronic pain or know someone who lives with chronic pain, then you know how desperate you can feel to get any kind of relief, and there are very unscrupulous people and companies out there who know that desperation and are ready and poised to take full advantage of those people who live in pain.
There are thousands of products on the market already that make thousands of claims that their product can help you be free from pain, and people buy them because they are so desperate.
This product, the Amega Amwand, is one of those products that claims so many amazing things that it can do for you, but it does absolutely nothing.
NOTHING.

The existence of zero point energy is not controversial although the ability to harness it is.
No device claimed to operate using zero point energy has been demonstrated to operate as claimed. No plausible description of a device drawing useful power from a source of zero point energy has been given. Thus, current claims to zero point energy-based power generation systems currently have the status of pseudoscience.
That means that this Amega Amwand is a total scam.
It is pseudoscience, fake, not what it claims to be.

Amega Global makes all kinds of products that claim to use zero point energy to help the body heal itself.
They make the Amwand for $304.00, the AmPendant in silver for $394.00, another AmPendant in Rose Gold for $404.00, and another AmPendant in bronze for $409.00.
They also make "food" that ranges in price from $52.00 up to $270.00.

They make all kinds of other products that claim to use this zero point energy, and they are selling them to people that are desperate to be free from pain, there are testimonials out there that claim this thing really works, but I can tell you after testing it on both myself and Mark for almost two full months, that it DOES NOT work.
I really feel the need to warn people about this new self care, help the body heal itself, scam.
I do not want to see anyone at all fall for this, and that's why I have used the name of it, Amega Amwand, as many times as possible so that it will get indexed in Google and other search engines, and be in the search results for it so that people will find this post (cross posted to My Single Mom Life as well) and learn that it is a total scam.
I feel very strongly the need to warn people so that they do not fall for this scam and waste hundreds of dollars on any of these Amega Global products that will do absolutely nothing for them except remove hundreds of dollars from their bank accounts.

Please, if you or someone that you know suffers from chronic pain and have either been told about the Amega Amwand, or they read about it, and are thinking of buying the Amega Amwand, please, direct them to this post.
I would not ever lie to my readers, this product, the Amega Amwand, is a total scam, it does not work as it claims to.
I tried and tested the product 5 times per day for 30 minutes each time, for two months, and saw no noticeable improvement in pain relief or energy, or any signs of looking and feeling younger either.
The Amega Amwand is a total scam.

Back when I first received the Amega Amwand, I brought it with me to one of my pain management appointments so that I could get my doctor's opinion of it. I took out the box and explained to him what the distributor Cheryl was selling to people at a cost of $304.00 and a promise that it could heal people's ailments and completely relieve pain. He read the little pamphlet, looked at the wand very closely, and then he asked me if I had actually paid for this thing. I told him no, of course not, and explained to him how I received it and what my plan to review it was. He told me, and I quote,

"Kat, you have to use your websites to tell people about this. This is probably the single biggest medical scam that I've seen in the last five years, and believe me, I've seen a lot of them. If you have your blogs (he looked kinda confused on what a blog really is) and the power to reach as many people as possible, you absolutely must tell people the truth. And Kat, the truth is that this thing is 100% garbage. It is a lie packaged and sold to desperate people, people who are so desperate to be free from pain that they will do just about anything they can to get relief. You have the ability to help people not waste their time and their money. Use the power you have to do something good. If you just spare even one person from wasting their money and their time, then you've done something great. Thank you for bringing this to my attention, I am going to go to the website and then email this to as many of my colleagues as I can, they need to know about this too and try to stop their patients from getting scammed if any of their patients happen to mention it or ask their doctors if they've heard of being healed by zero point energy."

He then laughed and repeated the phrase "zero point energy" as he jotted down the website urls for both of the websites that Cheryl gave me.
When I got back home and was going back over the pamphlet and stuff that came in the box with the wand, I found the certificate of authenticity, and one thing that I noticed on this "Certificate of Authenticity" that comes in the beautifully padded and silk lined box, is the ultra fine print typed so freaking small that I had to get my jewelry making magnifying glass out in order to be able to read it.
On the very, very bottom of the back of the certificate of authenticity, it reads in super tiny fine print exactly as follows:

DISCLAIMER: These statements have not been evaluated by The Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or physical condition.

These lying scammers know full well that this freaking magical "Amega Amwand" absolutely cannot treat, cure, or heal any ailment of physical condition.
They know that it cannot relieve pain, the number one claim that they use in their selling techniques!
The FDA won't approve this damn thing because they know that it's a total fraud, and these scammers admit, right there in super fine print, that this thing cannot do any of the things that they claim that it can!!

I will be updating this post on both of my blogs with new information or links to other articles about the Amega Amwand and what a total fraud it is, as I find or come across them.
If I find other reviews, I will link them, if I find video reviews, I will link to them as well, and when I see my doctor on Tuesday at 11am, I will be updating him about my "progress" after using it for two months.

**EDIT**
Added 2 links on 6/22/2010

Here is a link to a Youtube video and a post about the Amega Amwand scam.
I am not a hamster, Boob product: Amega Amwand.

Amega Amwand: Medical Scam, at the blog I Am Not A Hamster.


Amega Amwand Is a Scam at Blahvert.

The comments on this post at a money making blog are quite interesting, especially one by someone named Chadi.

FTC disclosure;
I was not compensated in any way for this post.
I received the Amega Amwand for free to test it and review it, and I have to send it back.
It is not mine to keep.
There is absolutely no free product to keep, or compensation received for reviewing this product.
The opinions expressed here are my own, but some of the wording has been taken directly from the Amega Global websites where they either sell the product or hype the product to get people to become distributors of these products.

I was very fortunate to receive an Acu-Life Thera Pod soothing 2-in-1 therapy heating and cooling pad for my review.
I received it free of charge in exchange for my honest opinion of the product.




The Acu-Life Thera Pod provides both moist heat and cold therapy to help facilitate healing of sore and tired muscles, aches and sprains, and even migraines.

For moist heat therapy, you remove the cold pack from the Thera Pod and place it in the freezer, and place the Thera Pod on a microwave safe plate, microwave for just 1 minute, and then you place it directly on the area that needs the moist heat.

It stays in place because it comes with an adjustable velcro strap.
So you can wear it on your lower back, arm, leg, shoulder, (like in the picture) knees, ankles, anywhere that you need to use moist heat or cold therapy.
 




For cold therapy, you insert the cold pack and wear it where you need to.
Moist heat helps with stiffness and flexibility, and cold therapy helps with inflammation and swelling.

All 3 of us have used the Acu-Life Thera Pod since getting it.
Sebastian has used the cold pack for his migraines, and both Mark and I have used it for our sore lower backs.
It really works well too.
Both Mark and I absolutely love the moist heat therapy,  just nuke it and wear it until it cools off, and by the time it has cooled off, our lower backs no longer hurt as bad, and we both had improved flexibility, we were able to bend over and stand up straight without the usual discomfort.
The other night when it was a bit chilly out and I was really hurting from the cold weather, I nuked it for 1 minute, strapped it around my lower back, and laid on the couch and watched a movie for 2 hours.
When the movie was over, my pain was drastically lessened and I was able to get off the couch without the stiffness that I usually have trying to get up off of the couch.

I've tried to use heating pads while lying on the couch before, but if you roll over or change position, the heating pad would move and I would have to readjust it over and over again.
With the Acu-Life Thera Pod, because it's strapped to my lower back, I was able to lay on the couch, change position as I needed to, roll over, and it moves with me, so it's perfect for laying down and soothing and relaxing my sore lower back.
I almost wish it was full back size, like big enough to strap around my entire back, because then it just might help with the freezing cold and stiffness from the titanium rods.
But wearing it on my lower back and laying on the couch with a blanket over me, it did help warm me up a bit on the inside, and it did help with the stiffness and pain in my lower back.

I really like the Acu-Life Thera Pod, it works very well, it can do both moist heat and cold therapy, and both are needed in soothing and relaxing sore and stiff muscles.
I'm very glad that I was given this product to try and review, I would have never known about it had I not been asked to give it a try. 

I have had another absolutely horrible, totally horrendous day, I am sitting here with a pounding migraine and  in tears, and I have been crying  off and on for several hours now.
I wish so much that I could talk specifically about why I'm so upset, but I can't, I am a woman of my word regardless of what other people seem to think and say.
I really wish that I knew why some people are so cruel, why are people so cruel??
Can't anyone tell me why??

I have had a really crappy week,  just wow, so freaking crappy, and I was hoping that after this morning's grocery shopping disaster, that the day would get better, but nope, it didn't.
I feel like my entire life is just me walking in one place, or walking on treadmills, I just keep on walking and walking and walking,  but never seem to get anywhere.
I never seem to go anywhere at all that is a good place to be.
I am just stuck walking in this place where a good majority of the people are full of drama and being wrapped up, mixed up, and in everyone's business.

I'm not a bad person, i live and let live, I try to do right by everyone who comes into and out of my life for however long they are in it, I try to treat others right, the way that I would want to be treated, with kindness and compassion, understanding, and caring.
But I hardly ever get treated back the same way.
I know that all of that karma stuff is so made up and so absolutely not true, because if it was, the people who come in and out of my life on the daily, would treat me just even half as well as I treat them.
I don't even really understand the how or the why over the reason for this, how it even began, 
I just don't even have the slightest clue.
All I know for sure is that someone, or several someones, really, truly, believe that I would try to destroy their ability to earn a living.
???
Yeah, that's exactly what I said!
I don't have the answer to that one at all, and believe me, I so wish that I did.
But I can tell you and know it to be true with every single fiber of my being, that I have not ever, would not ever, could not ever, interfere with another human beings ability to earn a living and provide for themselves and their families.
That's just not something that I am capable of doing.
 
Even way back when I was an assistant manager at a store and had to hire and fire people,
I had to practice my "I'm so sorry, but you're just not working out" speech for an hour or more before I could even walk into the office and do the deed, and no matter how many times the manager made me do it so that I could "get used to it"  before she would consider promoting me from just the assistant manager to either 2nd or 1st assistant manager, after doing it and waiting for the terminated employee to leave, I would run to the bathroom, close the stall door, start crying my eyes out, and then puke.
It was just so emotionally upsetting to me, it made me physically ill to do it.
I would have all of these thoughts and images in my head about their life, if they had kids to feed, if this job was the only way they could have a roof over their heads, if there was a member of the family who was sick and this job paid for their medications that kept them alive, all of those kinds of thoughts would be flooding my head, and I'd get dizzy and nauseous over those thoughts.
I am still the same way, I hate to hear about people losing their jobs, their homes, their insurance, I get upset just hearing a story about someone losing their job.
To know that there's someone out there thinking that I would in some way try to kill their ability to earn a living, is just really upsetting me.
It's my assistant manager job all over again, dizzy and queasy, that watery mouth feeling, swallowing hard, my stomach is in knots, and I keep crying.

I need to just go lay on the couch and zone out, watch a movie, or listen to music or something, anything at all, to get away from this situation, to make it stop, but anything that I do, I'm fearful that it could escalate an already tense situation and make it even worse.
I'm just stuck, stuck walking in the same place, just walking and walking, and going absolutely nowhere. 

I woke up this morning and accidentally took the wrong medicine.
Instead of taking my pain medicine, I took one of Sebastian's migraine pills.
It really messed me up very, very bad.
I was out of it all day long.
I have no idea how Sebastian handles being on that stuff all day, every day, because it made me feel like I was tripping on acid.
I could not eat anything at all, it was like the best diet pills I've ever used, I had zero appetite!!

He takes Topamax 3 times a day, and I honestly do not know how he can do it, because that stuff was like wow, some serious stuff.
I seriously felt like I was on acid.
I had the trippy vision, all the side effects that you get from acid, it was wild, I really do not know how he handles being on it.
It took me all day long to feel better, to feel like it was out of my system, and I'm still not entirely sure that it is out of my system, i still am having some vision issues from it.
At one point, I thought I was having a heart attack from it.
I was actually scared that I was having a heart attack.
I just laid in my bed all day long, I felt so bad.
I told the boys what happened when I realized what had happened about an hour after I realized what I had done.
There are just so many pill bottles on my shelf, and I have my bottles and his bottles separated, but somehow I must have grabbed his by mistake being so tired, I don't know how I could have made the mistake but I did.
I'm still not feeling totally right, I can feel it, and I'm typing not perfectly, I can see that, I mean look at how I'm typing here?
Yeah.
Ugh.

I waited and called all day again, and kept being told that it was being worked on, but I never got the call to go get the MRI.

My sister reminded me that I still had my boot from when I fractured the same ankle 6-7 years ago, so I had Sebastian help me get it out of the closet, and I've been wearing that since yesterday evening after we came home from shopping.

Tomorrow, we have Sebastian's appointment with his neuro to go over how his migraine meds have been working for the last month, in the afternoon.
So if they call me about the MRI, they need to do it in the morning or else wait till Thursday, so I'm wearing my boot and the ace bandage until they send me in for the test.
It is still as painful as it was the first night.
Gah.

Here it is, a little after 4am on Saturday morning, and I'm still wide awake.
I honestly haven't slept much even though I was completely worn out from doing too much on Wednesday, and then feeling like I came down with something.
But I think I know what it is that is making me feel like complete crud, the cat urine.
Carmine's been peeing repeatedly on the carpet under my bed, it's just been soaking in, marinating if you will, and stinking like ammonia.
Ammonia can make you feel sick, it can clog up your nose, make you cough and gag, and yup, that's how I've been feeling for a few days.
I'll be so glad when the teens and I rip out the carpet in there today.

Here's the plan for today.
Wake up.
Eat something for breakfast.
Take a walk to CVS to get Sebastian his new migraine meds.
Come home and start tackling the bedroom carpet. To do this, the teens and I will need to dig out all of the boxes of stuff I have under the bed, salvage anything that can be saved if it's not all completely soaked in cat urine, and throw away anything that can't be saved.
Take off all my bedding and start the washer.
Take off and stand up the mattress and box spring up against the wall/closet doors.
Stand up the frame against the wall/closet doors too.
Move the alarm clock. table lamp, and filing cabinet/nightstand.
Move the bed risers to the tub to be washed in bleach.
Get the box cutter and garbage bags.
Start cutting away the carpet and padding underneath.
Bag it all up and throw it out in the trash cans.
Get a bucket of hot water with a combo of bleach and Clorox Green all purpose cleaner.
Scrub the bedroom floor.
Scrub it again.
Scrub it again.
Wash the floor 1 last time with the bleach/green cleaner combo, then let dry.
Then wash down the floor with Urine Gone and Pee Gone.
Let dry and do it again.
Re-wash bathroom and kitchen floors with the combo of Urine Gone and Pee gone, as well as Mark and Sebastian's bedroom floors after they clean all of the junk out from under their beds, throw away anything that may have been peed on, clean all of the floors thoroughly with the combo cleaners and let dry.
After all the floors are dry, set my bed back up.

The bathroom needs a deep clean again too after our mini-flood this past weekend.
I need to get in there and scrub the floor, the toilet, the tub, and the sink.
I think I'm going to have to replace the bathroom sink faucet really soon.
The "hot" knob, is starting to have to be turned really, really far to get it to shut off.
This is a sign that the threads are wearing down, and if I don't replace it soon, we're going to have a big problem.
I'm wishing I could afford to get a nice new Hansgrohe faucet set, but may have to settle for the clearance bin at the local hardware store.
Yes, I know, the landlord should replace it at his cost, but if I just go ahead and do it, don't bother him, he deducts it from the rent if I give him the receipt.
I like to not bother him with stuff I can do myself, he's a sheriff, a father of two young kids, his weekends are important to him, plus, he's been spending almost every weekend for the last 6 months trying to repair the damage my old duplex neighbors did so he can rent it out again.
Anyway, this is the faucet that is in there right now, and I'm pretty sure by looking at it, that it's the exact same faucet that they installed when they built the house in like 1979.
You can click it for bigger if you really want to see how bad it is.



















Oooh! I found a whole bunch of them on sale!
W00t!
I like this one, and this one, and this one too!
Those prices aren't too bad at all!
For some reason, I thought they were going to be crazy high prices, I've seen faucets before that cost well over $200, and there's no way I'd spend that much on a faucet in an apartment that I rent.
Now if I owned my own home, yeah sure, but not a rental.

Oh gosh!
I started writing this post at 4:10am, and it's now 5:02am!
I got so busy looking at all of the bathroom sink faucets, I completely lost track of time hahahah!

I'm officially in a depressing state of funk.
Is it a funk, or is it depression?
I think it's both really.
I have no motivation to do much of anything, my thoughts are all over the place, and I'm battling another horrible round of insomnia too.
I'm awake all night long, right up until I have to wake the teens for school, then I'm sleeping for 3, maybe 4 hours, and then still not doing anything, not doing what I need to be doing.

I have work to do but I can't seem to make myself do it.
When I finally do force myself to do it, it's not good, not good at all.
I needed to get a video done for my product review of that new grill I got, and it was already late due to the septic flooding issue we had here, and then I forced myself through the pain to make the video, I did do it, and then I played it back on my pc, and I was absolutely mortified by how I sounded in it.
My speech was slurred like I was drunk, but I wasn't drunk, I haven't had a drink in months, so it has to be the pain meds and muscle relaxers I'm taking.
It was bad, really bad, and that made me feel even worse than I was feeling before.
I deleted it and bought the ingredients to do it again, but because of how I'm feeling, the pain, the depression, I haven't done it again yet.
I AM going to do it tomorrow.
I WILL do it tomorrow.
I have to because I made a promise, and I always keep my word, I just need to not take any of my meds before doing it this time because I don't want to sound like a drunken idiot again.

I also need to get these sporadic migraines under control too.
It seems that every other day now, I'm getting a migraine that knocks me out of commission for a few hours. I have to go lay down in my pitch black room and just wait it out.
I curl up as much as my stupid body will curl up, and clutch my blanket until it passes.
I'm really trying to move out of this funk, to get past this depression over how my body is, how little I'm capable of doing anymore, but when I try to talk myself into feeling better, it doesn't work.
There's so much I can't do anymore, it bothers me so much, I have to walk with a cane now because my head is looking down and I end up losing my balance because I can't properly see in front of me.
I hate this.
I hate how this is, and I hate that I have to have another surgery again, and I hate being miserable inside.
I fake it every single day, I put on a big fake smile for my sons, I put it on for friends and family, it's a big fake smile because everyone else thinks I'm doing just great, that I'm recovering just fine, and physically, yeah, I suppose I am recovering just fine, but mentally?
Fuck no, no, I'm not.
I'm not happy.
I'm not ok with all of this, I'm not ok with the amount of medications, I'm not ok with the pain without taking them, I'm not ok with my body the way it is, and yes, I know, there are people who have it so much worse, I should stop feeling sorry myself, but dammit, none of this is ok.
I'm told it will all be ok, but when?
When is it going to be better, because it's been years now since I've even felt halfway human.
And how am I supposed to feel human with all this hardware inside me?
I know how my body moves, or how little it moves I should say, and it's not human type movements, it's stiff and sore, planned, careful movements so I don't get hurt, so I don't hurt myself.
People look at me like I'm some sort of freak, they stare at me when I go to the store, and I'm so tired of being stared at because of this damn body.
 Before the first spine fusion, they stared at me because of the huge hump on my back, then they stared at me because of the huge back brace, now they stare at me because of the neck brace and the cane, and the way my head looks down.
I'm tired of people asking me what happened too.
They always think it was some sort of accident, and I'm tired of saying no, I had scoliosis, and they don't know what that is so I have to explain, and they still don't get it.
It all makes me want to just stay in the house and not go out anywhere again unless I absoluely have to, and until the next surgery to fix my head is done and I'm fully recovered.
I'm tired, just so tired of it all.

I've been suffering a horrid migraine the entire day, it's been unbearable at certain points.
I have been laying down on the couch or in my bed in the dark, just trying to get it to go away.
Relaxing and sleeping doesn't always help, it doesn't always make a migraine go away.
I still have it, it's not as severe as it has been, but it's still here.
Noises, lights, everything is just making my whole head hurt and it shoots down into my neck too.

I'm going to try and make dinner though, just something really easy like hamburger helper.
The teens love that stuff, and I suppose I should eat too.
I haven't been able to eat anything all day due to nausea from the migraine.

Oh! Yesterday, I got my new George Foreman grill I was telling you I was going to get to do for a product review.
I have found an awesome recipe to try out the grill with, and I'll be posting step by step instructions, pictures, and a video of the grill in action, as well as the recipe used so you can make it too on your George Foreman grill or even your outdoor grill.
I'm so very excited to make it, it's going to taste super yummy, I just need to get to the grocery store and pick up all of the ingredients to make it.

Ok, I need to go back and lay down for just a little bit longer before I start making dinner.
Later days.

Tomorrow, er, today, I have my pre-surgery consult with Doctor M.
He's going to tell me exactly what he and his team will do during the surgery, how long I'll be asleep, breathing tube, ICU, how many days to expect, (I'm holding him to 4!) what kind of pain to expect, what they'll have me do upon waking, physical therapy, etc, all of the nitty gritty details.

I have my own questions too.
Can I bring and wear my own clothes on like day 2 or something, will I be able to put my contacts back in, (I don't have a pair of glasses to wear) is this going to cause me to start a surprise menstrual cycle like the last surgery did, and if so, can I bring my own gear this time, or are they just going to make me lay there on a "pee pad" like last time.

Will they be shaving off any of my hair from the back of my head?
I know they are going to have to shave a portion of my neck, I have really long hair, I know it comes down far on my neck, so when they shave that, will they have to go any higher?
And if so, please don't fuck it up and make it incredibly noticeable to people.
My hair has been falling out anyway, but I really don't want to lose a lot if they can help it any.

I don't know if I posted about my hair situation or not, but this whole neck thing has been the cause of a lot of my health problems over the last year, year and a half.
With the spinal cord being pinched off, it can't send the right messages from my brain to all of my organs.
The messages are being pinched off, not sent, or sent incorrectly to all of my organs.
All of my stomach and digestive issues, being sick for no real reason, (I don't really go anywhere to catch any germs or viruses) my skin smelling really, horribly bad after eating certain foods, stomach pain, cramps, constipation, or the complete opposite, having days where regardless how many showers I took, how much deodorant I put on, I would have body odor, and my hair falling out.

Everyone loses hair on a daily basis, but this isn't normal hair loss, this is clumps of hair coming out in the shower, coming out when I brush it, coming out when the wind blows.
I don't have any noticeable bald spots, yet, but it's definitely thinned out.
It's nowhere near as thick as it once was, and it's not due to getting old, this is directly related to my neck stuff.
It's been rather sucky.

Sebastian broke down last night.
He just exploded in this 15 year old ball of fear, worry, and anger over this whole thing, crying, screaming, hugging me so tightly I thought he'd break my ribs.
He said if doc screws up and I die, he's going to beat him up really bad right there in the hallway at the hospital.
Mark said Sebastian won't get the chance, because he'll kill him.
To say the teens are starting to panic and be really afraid now, is an understatement.
They keep saying little things, '1 week from today' or 'I hope this week goes by really slow, it may be the last week I ever see you', or 'on Saturday or Sunday night, I'm sleeping with you, I want to be near you as much as possible.'
They even came out tonight and watched the season premiere of Gossip Girl, a show they hate, just to "hang out" with me.

I keep trying to reassure them that it's all going to be ok, that I WILL be coming home, that I'm going to be fine, and Sebastian wanted me to promise him that, but I can't.
I can't make that kind of promise because I really don't know.
I just kept telling him that I will be coming home, that it will be ok, without saying the word promise.

I have so much to do this week, work, the house, helping them with school, still trying to keep this house running as normally as possible, but honestly, I can't focus on any of it for long.
I want to though, I have things that I need to get done, but my mind starts wandering, racing, then my heart starts racing and pounding, and then I get a massive migraine and have to go lay down.
I went to bed shortly after the boys did tonight, they went at 11:30, I went at 11:45, and I laid there checking to make sure their alarm would go off, that mine would go off again at 8am so I can get up and try and do some work before I have to leave at noon-ish, but I started panicking about it all, so I got up and set Snoozester to call me at 8am just in case my cell alarm doesn't go off.
And now here I am, sitting here blogging, awake again, just thinking about it all.

I know things will be ok, but now with such short time left to go, I just want to go do it, get it over with, enough of the testing and appointments, and talks, let's just do it!
I just want it done so I can come back home like I said, that's all I want.

Yesterday was a very long day, I did a lot, played, got up and down from the floor, did way too much, and so I paid for it.
I ended up with a horrible migraine, my head was pounding, I could feel my heart pumping in my head, my blood pressure was way way up, it was actually kind of scary.
I was laying in my bed thinking to myself what to do if it gets worse, if my heart starts beating faster and the pounding feeling gets louder and more intense.
Do I call someone for help?
But my cell phone has like no reception in my bed room at all, it barely gets calls through, so I was thinking about cell phone amplifiers, and how I should have jumped on that opportunity for a free one when I had the chance, just in case.

But I got up and took a pain pill, another water pill, and drank a huge glass of ice water, and then went back to laying down.
By morning, the headache is mostly gone, but I don't have the pounding feeling anymore so I'm ok.
It's kind of scary when your blood pressure goes up that high, when you can feel it high.
I really hope that all I'm about to go through takes care of that whole thing.