Recently in Food Category

I'm officially in a depressing state of funk.
Is it a funk, or is it depression?
I think it's both really.
I have no motivation to do much of anything, my thoughts are all over the place, and I'm battling another horrible round of insomnia too.
I'm awake all night long, right up until I have to wake the teens for school, then I'm sleeping for 3, maybe 4 hours, and then still not doing anything, not doing what I need to be doing.

I have work to do but I can't seem to make myself do it.
When I finally do force myself to do it, it's not good, not good at all.
I needed to get a video done for my product review of that new grill I got, and it was already late due to the septic flooding issue we had here, and then I forced myself through the pain to make the video, I did do it, and then I played it back on my pc, and I was absolutely mortified by how I sounded in it.
My speech was slurred like I was drunk, but I wasn't drunk, I haven't had a drink in months, so it has to be the pain meds and muscle relaxers I'm taking.
It was bad, really bad, and that made me feel even worse than I was feeling before.
I deleted it and bought the ingredients to do it again, but because of how I'm feeling, the pain, the depression, I haven't done it again yet.
I AM going to do it tomorrow.
I WILL do it tomorrow.
I have to because I made a promise, and I always keep my word, I just need to not take any of my meds before doing it this time because I don't want to sound like a drunken idiot again.

I also need to get these sporadic migraines under control too.
It seems that every other day now, I'm getting a migraine that knocks me out of commission for a few hours. I have to go lay down in my pitch black room and just wait it out.
I curl up as much as my stupid body will curl up, and clutch my blanket until it passes.
I'm really trying to move out of this funk, to get past this depression over how my body is, how little I'm capable of doing anymore, but when I try to talk myself into feeling better, it doesn't work.
There's so much I can't do anymore, it bothers me so much, I have to walk with a cane now because my head is looking down and I end up losing my balance because I can't properly see in front of me.
I hate this.
I hate how this is, and I hate that I have to have another surgery again, and I hate being miserable inside.
I fake it every single day, I put on a big fake smile for my sons, I put it on for friends and family, it's a big fake smile because everyone else thinks I'm doing just great, that I'm recovering just fine, and physically, yeah, I suppose I am recovering just fine, but mentally?
Fuck no, no, I'm not.
I'm not happy.
I'm not ok with all of this, I'm not ok with the amount of medications, I'm not ok with the pain without taking them, I'm not ok with my body the way it is, and yes, I know, there are people who have it so much worse, I should stop feeling sorry myself, but dammit, none of this is ok.
I'm told it will all be ok, but when?
When is it going to be better, because it's been years now since I've even felt halfway human.
And how am I supposed to feel human with all this hardware inside me?
I know how my body moves, or how little it moves I should say, and it's not human type movements, it's stiff and sore, planned, careful movements so I don't get hurt, so I don't hurt myself.
People look at me like I'm some sort of freak, they stare at me when I go to the store, and I'm so tired of being stared at because of this damn body.
 Before the first spine fusion, they stared at me because of the huge hump on my back, then they stared at me because of the huge back brace, now they stare at me because of the neck brace and the cane, and the way my head looks down.
I'm tired of people asking me what happened too.
They always think it was some sort of accident, and I'm tired of saying no, I had scoliosis, and they don't know what that is so I have to explain, and they still don't get it.
It all makes me want to just stay in the house and not go out anywhere again unless I absoluely have to, and until the next surgery to fix my head is done and I'm fully recovered.
I'm tired, just so tired of it all.

Licking the bowl.

I decided to make some Ghirardelli Double Chocolate Brownie Mix tonight.
Yummy.

I've been suffering a horrid migraine the entire day, it's been unbearable at certain points.
I have been laying down on the couch or in my bed in the dark, just trying to get it to go away.
Relaxing and sleeping doesn't always help, it doesn't always make a migraine go away.
I still have it, it's not as severe as it has been, but it's still here.
Noises, lights, everything is just making my whole head hurt and it shoots down into my neck too.

I'm going to try and make dinner though, just something really easy like hamburger helper.
The teens love that stuff, and I suppose I should eat too.
I haven't been able to eat anything all day due to nausea from the migraine.

Oh! Yesterday, I got my new George Foreman grill I was telling you I was going to get to do for a product review.
I have found an awesome recipe to try out the grill with, and I'll be posting step by step instructions, pictures, and a video of the grill in action, as well as the recipe used so you can make it too on your George Foreman grill or even your outdoor grill.
I'm so very excited to make it, it's going to taste super yummy, I just need to get to the grocery store and pick up all of the ingredients to make it.

Ok, I need to go back and lay down for just a little bit longer before I start making dinner.
Later days.

I posted about eBillme's shopping confessions contest over on My Single Mom Life, so you might want to go check that out, and if you feel like stumbling it, that would be awesome.
Grassy Ass.

Oh, and one of these days, I'm going to be doing some cooking with all of those gadgets I have, and probably set the house on fire.
I saw the coolest new gadget on an infomercial today.
An indoor deep fryer big enough to do a 20lb turkey.
Thanksgiving deep fried turkey without the fear of a huge backyard fire, and I won't blow up the house!

Time to get some home insurance just in case I burn the house down eh?

In my situation, I am always trying to lose weight, always looking for the best ways to help me lose weight, control my appetite, curb my cravings for sweets and carbs, and it's not always easy.
I am currently using a product, I haven't noticed much of a change in weight or appetite suppression yet, but I'm still giving it a good try.
I am also attempting to find other people's stories of using it, product reviews, and I'm not finding hardly anything at all, but I am finding tons of other posts for  orovo reviews, and tons and tons of other weight loss product reviews, but none, or hardly none, for the one I am using.
Maybe it's because it's far too new on the market or people just aren't using it or something.
I'm really hoping that I will start to see some results from it soon or I'll just stop using it.
It's pointless for me to take a product that isn't doing diddly squat to help me.

I must have caught up on sleep over the last few days while I wasn't feeling well, because as you can see, it's now a little after 4am EST, and here I am wide awake again.
*sigh*
So I've spent most of the night forum posting, reading blogs, and just looking at stuff for the upcoming holidays.
Did you know that a good majority of internet retailers are already starting to advertise for the 2008 Black Friday start of the holiday shopping season?
They are.
Tons of sites are leaking out links for all of the black Friday sales.
The black holiday sales start on the Friday after Thanksgiving, so that's the 28th of November this year.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I was thinking about this, and talking to my sister about it yesterday too.
Because I just had surgery, I can't bend over to pick stuff up, and I can't lift anything over 5lbs, so what the heck am I going to do for our Thanksgiving dinner?
I decided that I'm just going to go and get a Honeybaked ham for our dinner.
They don't just do hams, they make all the side dishes too, so I can go there and get a ham, mashed potatoes, a veggie side dish, stuffing if we want it, a broccoli rice casserole, or garlic mashed potatoes.
That actually sounds really yummy right now, I love garlic mashed taters!
They make a ton of different sides you can buy separately, or order in like combo packs.
I may end up doing the Honeybaked thing for Christmas too if I am still on restriction then as well.
I have another post-op appointment on December 10th, so if he says that I still can't lift more than 5lbs, I'll end up having to get my holiday meals already done up for me.

I usually do the whole prepared holiday dinner from Publix, the turkey, 2 sides, 1 stuffing dish, 1 cranberry, and 1 gravy bowl, and the whole thing has already been cooked, you just have to heat it up, even the turkey, but if I am on lift restrictions, then I won't be able to do that.
If I go with the Honeybaked, the ham doesn't have to be re-heated, it's actually super tasty cold, especially the glaze crusty stuff they put on it.
It is so damn yummy.
Yeah, I'm totally going to do the Honeybaked thing for Thanksgiving.
I am drooling just thinking about it now. 
The teens could help me re-heat all of the sides in the microwave or oven depending on what the directions for heating say.
The sides are, of course, much lighter than the meat, so I could help the teens get them in and out of the oven and not have to bend over to do it either.
See, the teens know how to cook in the oven, but they get nervous doing it alone because they think they'll get burned on the racks and the walls of the oven. 
But if I stay in the kitchen and just stand there with them, they aren't as nervous reaching in and taking stuff out.
I know, kinda silly, but I guess they just like the idea of me being there just in case they get burned.

They are totally getting better at cooking now though.
Because of my current situation, they have had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping, and they have been cooking up some pretty tasty stuff.
I can't wait to get the George Foreman grill that I'm getting to do a product review on, and the boys will be able to cook on it so much easier.
They love to eat food cooked on a grill, but I have a wicked phobia about grill cooking.
The teens are afraid of getting burned by the oven, I'm afraid of getting burned by a grill.
meh.
I am always afraid that the flame will spring up suddenly while I'm like flipping a burger, and it will catch my hair on fire, or the propane tank will explode from the heat or something.
I know, it's a totally irrational fear, people have been cooking over fire since the cavemen first discovered it, people go camping and cook over fire, and practically every weekend, people all over the whole hood are bbq'ing, and no one ever gets burnt to a crispy, but I can't help it, I'm a total fraidy Kat.
haha

So yeah, I'll be getting the new safe and easy to use and clean George Foreman grill, and I'll be able to bbq and all kinds of other super yummy foods on it, and the teen food inhalers will have grilled animal flesh and grunt like their caveman ancestors did.
Yay!

I feel like crap still.
The last few days have just been miserable for me.
On top of my neck surgical issues, I have a cold that is making me just absolutely miserable.
I have just been laying on the couch curled up in my blanket, sipping on some juice, eating yogurts and jello, just trying to stay hydrated, and trying to keep some food in me to help me get over this.

I really can't wait to start feeling better so I can go and do the things I need to do.
I really would like to be able to go grocery shopping so I can get more food in the house that the teens can cook easily.
I also need to go get a pedicure in a bad way.
My toes are in dire need of rescue.
I also would like to go and get started on the DNA testing that I need to have done which will help the doctors be able to better help me.
If I can get an accurate diagnosis for either Townes-Brock syndrome or Riley Day syndrome, my doctors would be able to get me on the correct medications to help me feel better at least.
If they know for sure what is wrong with me, they will be able to help me.
I'm so tired of being sick.
I've spent years and years being in pain, getting sick constantly, having blood pressure issues, swallowing issues sometimes even with just liquids, the way my toes are formed, the issues with my back, my arthritis etc etc etc.

I just want to finally start feeling better, feeling normal.
Spending all of this time being sick or in pain or whatever, has just sucked.
At times I get severely depressed over it all.
Like this morning, I was just laying in my bed just bawling my eyes out over all of this.
I hate my life right now.
I hate all of this crap, I feel like a complete loser because I can't do anything anymore.
I can't cook much, I can't clean much, I can't do hardly anything, and I'm so freaking over it all.
I'm supposed to tell my doctors when and if I start getting depressed so they can help me.
I don't want to take an anti-depressant, I know that's what they would do.
They would put me on another med to alter my moods and I don't want that.
What i want is my life back.
Hell, I just want a life that sorta resembles what I had 8+ years ago.
I want to be happy, to go out with friends, to be able to play and have fun, live.
I just want to be ok.

It's official, I have a cold.
I knew I was coming down with something yesterday after sneezing for like 20 minutes straight.
I have spent the whole day today laying on the couch and wrapped up in blankets and just resting.
I came out and laid on the couch before the teens left for school, and Sebastian covered me up in his big comforter, fluffed his pillows behind my head, and gave me his baby blanket and his Sully to sleep with all day.
It looked as though I was sleeping with all kinds of baby bedding.
It was wicked comfy too.
It really did look and feel like I was swaddled up like a baby.
Kali and Shahiro kitties slept with me almost all day, they love it when I lay on the couch with all kinds of blankets.

I hate having a cold or whatever.
It sucks.
My body already aches so much from surgery, to get a cold on top of that is just plain miserable.
The teens are going to go to the store and get some more juice, yogurt, pudding, and jellos for me to eat while they are at school.
They also need to pick up some regular Tylenol for their use.
Sebastian has had some small headaches for the last few days, and we ran out, so they need to pick up some more.

My old duplex neighbor stopped by a little bit ago, to see how I was doing.
She had just come from her doctor's appointment and getting her scripts filled at the Walgreen's by my house, so she was close enough to stop by and see me.
She said she really misses me, to call her if I need anything at all like giving the teens a ride to the store, or whatever I need.
She said I looked like crap.
It's not an insult, I really do look like crap today.
My skin is pale and clammy, my hair is a mess, I have huge bags and dark circles under my eyes, just miserable looking and feeling.

I hate how screwed up my immune system is, I catch everything, and flu season is coming yet I can't have a flu shot because it could make me sick because of my low immune system.
I'll probably catch it this year.
That will suck big time.

When the teens go food shopping today, I've added to the list, some more acne treatment for them, and a big bottle of cherry Nyquil for me.
I really think I'm starting to come down with a cold.
I have been sneezing all night, I'm stuffed up, and more achy than usual.
It sucks.
Sneezing is as bad as vomiting when your neck is like this.
Every sneeze makes my neck jerk, even in the brace, the jerk sends waves of pain down my entire spine.
I should know that's how it's going to be, I have those rods the entire lentgh of my spine, head to tail bone, every movement effects the entire rod/spine contraption.

I am handling this whole thing really pretty well, I deal with it alright for the most part, but man, when I'm stomach sick or having a sneezing fit like I did this morning, I don't deal with it ok.
I hate that this is what I have to deal with for the rest of my life now.
Every movement is a full body movement, it's not easy at all.

I'm finally starting to get my bearings around here after a month out from the surgery.
I'm slowly starting to do some cleaning and cooking, not much, I get tired and sore rather quickly, but I am at least making dinner every other day, to every 2 days, which the teens are quite happy about.
They've been eating a lot of take out, frozen nuke 'em foods, subs from Publix, lunch meat and tuna sandwiches etc etc.
They were getting quite tired of it, so I made my first meal the other night.
I made some shrimp and french fries, and only needed help getting the cookie sheet in and out of the oven, because I'm still not allowed to bend over, pick up, too much.

I think on Saturday, Chris, Mindy's husband, is coming over to finish the AC unit stuff.
He's going to remove the old rotted drywall from the old AC unit dripping water so much, and I think her son Jeff is coming to help, and install new drywall.
That's good, because as helpful as Mark is, he's never done drywall before and wouldn't really be much help at all.
We can paint later on.
My sis was planning on bringing some paints at some point, and painting the living room for me. She had some colors left over from when she painted her new house.
So things are getting on, I'm doing better slowly, and hopefully it will just keep getting easier and less painful to do stuff around here.
I hate not being able to do stuff.
I'm such an independent person, so to not do stuff is driving me crazy.
I hate "resting".

My sister came over today with my niece Skye, and they brought us lunch from Boston Market.
Then she took Sebastian to Publix to get some more food and other items that they forgot when he and Mark went the other day.
I had her pick up the Glad Press n' Seal stuff  (yes, the plastic wrap for food, sticks to the skin and makes a water proof seal around wounds that need to stay dry) so that I can take a full shower and not get my sutures wet, and also some hair elastics so after she raked through the matted hair, she could braid it.
I didn't have any more of them in my basket because I always do the girls hair when they come over.

Then the hair hell began.
My sister has a considerable amount of patience and she tried so hard to not pull my hair and hurt me, but the hair was just so matted that no amount of gentleness could stop the pulling and pain.
Here's what ended up coming out, it's a lot of hair, it's all tangled and matted, there was absolutely no getting a brush, comb, or pick through it, so we did the only thing we could do.
We cut it out.

























































After we got all of the knots and matted clumps out, I wiped away my tears, and got a grip on myself, and she then braided my hair for me so that this won't happen again during the long recovery process.
At least once a week from now on, the hair will have to be unbraided, combed through with heavy conditioner, and then braided again.
 




















I look awful.
I had just spent nearly 2 hours getting my hair fixed, I cried a lot because it seriously hurt.
My eyes are all red, I have huge dark circles under my eyes, just ugly looking.
My hair had been in a ponytail since the 8th, had not been washed, conditioned, or brushed since that day.
It was a huge huge mess, and even after soaking it in de-frizz serum, Infusium, and half a bottle of conditioner all at the same time, that big huge matted section could not be combed or picked through, it was excruciating pain, every hair felt like it was being ripped out by the roots.
My scalp is raw, I'm surprised it's not bleeding from having all those hairs pulled on.
My sister tried to work through it, she really did, but I couldn't take the pain anymore and told her to just grab the scissors and just cut it out.
Hell, my surgeon's team had already shaved parts of my head, cut other areas, I knew I was going to lose some hair, so cutting it out was the only thing I could do for now.
Once I'm healed up a bit better, I'm going to have to go to a salon and get it all cut and evened out and stuff, and also get a pedicure.
 
My feet are a huge mess as well, but we can't just cut the toes off now can we?
It will be the usual embarrassment, the little Korean ladies will talk about my gnarly toenails and my rough heels in their native language, as they try to make my poor battered feet look more human-like and less disgusting looking.
The girl doing my feet will say something, and then the other ladies will find some kind of reason to come and walk by her station and take a glance at my feet, say something in Korean, and I know it's not nice stuff, it never is.
I may not understand the language, but disgusted and grossed out are a universal emotion that is easily recognized in facial expressions.
I have not been able to bend over and care for my feet on my own in just about 3 years now.
Having titanium rods running the full length of your spine makes taking care of your own feet damn near impossible to do.
I really wish I could find a mani/pedi place close to home and my local shopping places where at least one of the people speaks English so that when I explain why my feet are so bad, they'll understand me.
I try to explain it to the Korean girls, but they just don't understand words like spine fusion, titanium rods, no bending at all, impossible to take care of my own feet, sorry they look so bad but I tip really well for all of your troubles and good work making them look nice.


I really appreciate my sis helping me today.
My hair was an absolute disaster and every single night of sleeping and naps, just made it worse and worse.
I can only lay on my back, so the hair was just getting more and more matted.
I feel a lot better now, it's fixed, it feels better, it will be less hot, less of a pain in the ass, and way less embarrassing when the nurses and friends come over to see me.

Now I'm off to find something to eat and then lay down on the couch and watch tv for awhile I guess.
Later days.

I gave myself a scare last night.
See, I have bolt wounds on the side of my head from where I was bolted to the table during surgery, (I promise I will explain how it all went soon) and the nurse had cleaned them really good yesterday and put some Staphaseptic on them.
Well last night I reached up to the left side of my head to rub my temples, they sorta ache a bit, and this chunky thing came off in my fingers.
It was sort of like a scab but yellow-ish in color, and had some small hairs attached to it.
I didn't scratch it, I just rubbed my temples, and to have this thing fall off, it was really gross.
Then it started bleeding and it wouldn't stop, so I had Sebastian do his best to put a band-aid on it.
The nurse came today and took the band-aid off, cleaned it, and said it looked good, but man, it was super scary having it bleed like that.

I had ordered the new HDTV antenna that I need to be able to watch tv with the converter box, and it came today.
It's much much bigger than I thought it was, it really needs to be mounted outside, but I tried to hook it up today anyway.
Bad idea.
It's too heavy, I couldn't get it to work, it probably does need to be mounted outside on the wood shutters, and so yeah, by the time I gave up on it and put it back in the box, I had really over done it and now I'm paying for it.
 But there is a good thing about doing that, something pulled in my neck and now my head is staying up much better, straighter I think. hahahaha
Maybe I pulled the muscles where they need to go?
Don't know.
The pain is subsiding a bit now and I need to eat something.

Oh, speaking of eating, I sent the boys grocery shopping with a list and everything today.
They came back with a ton of wrong items, items not on the list, and a whole bunch of items that were on the list, didn't get bought at all.
They tried I suppose, this is a lot of pressure on them, I know that, so I really can't complain too too much that they screw things up a little bit.

I'm still chugging along trying to get through this first week at home, I have to keep telling myself to just relax, that the first week is always so so  hard, that it really is the worst, so I don't try and over do things.
A lot of just laying down and sleeping.

Mindy was here almost all day long, she did a really great job cleaning my house, it looks wicked nice and clean in here, the teens better keep it this way. LOL
Then she went home and came back with some big huge pans of food.
Her husband Chris made dinner for us, some chicken alfredo, bread sticks, and salad.
It was all so yummy.
He used to work at the Olive Garden, it's their alfredo recipe, so yeah, it's super yummy.
When Chris was here this morning, he took a look at my AC unit, and he's going to come back and fix it for me next weekend.
Box it in to the right size for the AC, clean it up, get it working right again.
It's simply not blowing as cold as it used to, it's not sitting in the housing correctly, and the leaking is because of all of those things plus all box units leak when it gets super humid.
So it will be wicked nice to have it fixed and cool in the house again.

I have a ton of emails and comments in my inbox that I just don't know when I'll be able to get to, if I'll be able to get to them at all, but I wanted you to all know that I have read them and appreciate all of the support and words of encouragement, it's really appreciated.

I did spend the majority of the day laying down and resting, I even slept for awhile, and that is my plan of attack.
My face is still wicked swollen up which makes me feel weird and stuff.
I know the swelling will go down, it's just a matter of time.
For now though, I feel like I either got beat with a baseball bat, or I am a balloon.
People keep telling me it doesn't look so bad, but I've seen my face in the mirror, I know what it looks like.
Doc said it will be ok, it will heal up, but for awhile it's gonna look like total crap.

Ok, time to get back to my couch, watch a little Law and Order repeats and stuff.
Later days. 

I know it's not Friday, but I don't think I've done a weight loss progress update in a few weeks now.

I started my doctor monitored weight-loss on July 4th, and my starting weight was 190lbs.
I started taking a product he approves and sells in his office, and he agreed to monitor my progress at every visit.
I would stick to taking 2 pills per day, eat better foods, walk, work out as much as I can, and try to increase my water intake.
I absolutely hate water, but I alternate, for every 1 can of Diet Pepsi or Diet Coke, I have 1 large glass of nearly frozen water, and I suck it down as quickly as possible.
I actually use a plastic cup that can be put in the freezer, and I really do freeze my water.
Not all the way of course, but I get it to that point of frozen where it's like a slurpee, all ice, some liquid left, slush-like, and then I just chug it down and deal with the "ice cream" headache.

But anyway, I've been doing really good sticking to my plan, I don't call it a diet because I fail at diets, so I call it my weight-loss plan, and that works for me.
My doc has kept his word, he's been monitoring me, checking my blood pressure, my weight, taking random urine tests to check iron levels and stuff, and encouraging me.
I saw my new primary care doc the other day, she weighed me, and I then went to his office, and he weighed me, and both scales matched so they must be accurate.

I am now at 169.10lbs from my start weight of 190lbs, so that's a total weight loss of 20.9lbs.
That's pretty damn good if I do say so myself.
20lbs in almost 2 months, I didn't lose tons of weight quickly which usually guarantees that you'll gain it all back plus some extra, so I'd say I'm doing alright.
I know that during my stay in the hospital even though it's only 4 days, I'll drop a few more because I have like zero appetite from all the morphine and dilaudid, and they shouldn't give me morphine this time because I nearly scratched myself to death last time.
That stuff makes you itchy, and it's such a high dose that I was passed out just clawing at my skin and ripping clumps of hair out, but anyway, I will drop probably between 2-5lbs more.

So there's my update, I'm doing good, I'm proud of myself, and now I'm going to go lay on the couch and catch a few hours of sleep.
I had insomnia again last night, and really need just a few short hours.
Later days! 

I think it was about a month or so ago, that they announced that they were closing down a whole bunch of Starbucks coffee places.
That must have been in other states or bigger cities, because Sarasota opened up like 3 more around here.
I don't drink coffee, but the amount of coffee places around this city is remarkable.
And they are always busy, people are in and out of them constantly.

There's this one place down at the Publix plaza, they have tables outside and there are always people sitting there using the free wifi and drinking cup after cup.
There's this one guy who's always there using the wifi and drinking his coffee, and he sits there in long pants, a heavy shirt, and a dress jacket.
Even in the 90 degree heat.
Just looking at him makes me sweat.
I always want to ask him if he's hot or if he's one of those people that are always cold.
That would probably be rude though.

What was a category 1 hurricane, has been downgraded into a tropical storm again.
It'll be about 45-50mph winds, some rain, nothing major.
But all the Sarasota schools are closed, there's no garbage pick-up tomorrow, and all county government offices will be closed as well.

The kids first day back to school was today, and now they get a day off already.
I understand the whole better safe than sorry thing, but they canceled school at 2pm today, made the automated phone calls to parents, and they could have, should have, waited until later tonight to make the call on closing school.

Things are fine here, we have plenty of food and water should the power go out, I did all y hurricane shopping on Saturday, and we have plenty of candles, a big flashlight, a 24 our glo-stick for emergencies, plenty of stuff, but I doubt it will get that bad.

So I took my awesome comfy sandals to the little Korean lady to fix, and just as I suspected, she refused to fix them.
"No fix, need new shoe! No fix!"
So while I was at Walgreen's getting Susan her birthday first aid kit, (she's going to love this thing!) and we needed a new one for our house too, I found their flip flop aisle and tried on a few pairs.
I found a cheap and comfy pair that will have to do until I can find another pair of those awesome Dr. Scholl's that my freaking cats chewed up.
Then Sebastian and I headed into Publix to get all of the stuff we needed, and then headed back home by cab because we bought more than we could carry.

We waited for the cab for over 40 minutes.
Sam had told me 10-15 minutes on my initial call, so after 25 minutes, I called back.
He said the driver would be there in 2 minutes.
I waited 10 and called back.
By this point Sam was furious that the driver he sent for me kept picking up flags instead of getting the calls, he was yelling into the radio, screaming at the guy in English and Arabic, and when the cab finally showed up, I was sweating bullets.
My blood pressure was up from the heat, I was minutes away from passing out.
When we got to my house, I went to pay him, and he said, "No, this trip is on me, it's my fault you waited for 40 minutes. Sam won't let me take your money, he said that it's on me."

Hahahaha!
Dumbass.
If he had just gone after the call like he was supposed to instead of picking up flags, Sam would have let him take my money.

The teens and I need to head out today and do some shopping at Publix, get some stuff for the house that we need, and I also need to drop my sandals off at the little shoe repair store that's at the same plaza.

I know the lady is going to look at me like I'm crazy, the sandals are pretty beat up aside from the straps having been taken off by the cats.
They chewed through the strings that are sewn on, and the straps fell off.
But these sandals are massively comfortable, I love them, they are perfectly broken in, and considering that next month it will be even harder to put on normal shoes like sneakers, I need really comfortable sandals.
I just want the straps sewn back on nice and tight, and the little Korean lady is going to tell me that I need "new shoe. need new shoe, not fix, new shoe."
But sorry dear, I cannot find these anymore anywhere, I've looked at the store I bought them at, I've looked at other stores, no getting new shoe, fix old shoe, take money from me.
Hahah!

I wish I had woken up earlier to get started on all of this, but oh well, I didn't.
I'm going to take a quick shower as soon as Mark is done, and then we'll get ready to go.

I was feeling really down last night when I posted that I might not go to Susan's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow afternoon, I was in a bad place, dealing with all kinds of stress and worry about bills and stuff.
And I haven't had a chance to go shopping for baby gifts for her present yet.
She's not a baby anymore, but she has to have child safe toys, know what I mean?
She's still at that age where you just don't give a little girl a toy with tons of tiny pieces.
I know what I'm giving her, but I'm going to give it to her on Friday night when we all go out to Chinese to celebrate both her and Mark's birthday.

She loves to play doctor, people doctor, animal doctor, couch doctor, she's always fixing things up, she loves bandages and band-aids and stuff, so I'm getting her a first aid kit.
My sister told me to get it for her, so don't look at me like I'm a crazy person. *laughs*
She really does love first aid kits, so I found a smallish one, it seems to be the perfect size for her, and I'll remove the fingernail clippers, the tweezers, any lotions or things like Neosporin and stuff like that, and that way she'll be safe.
She will absolutely love it, I know it's the perfect gift because she always wants to play doctor when she comes over, she's the reason I don't have any more band-aids in my first aid kit now. *laughs*

Anyway, I will not be missing her big special big girl birthday party, she's my little buddy, I have to go and celebrate with her, take some pictures of both her and Skye, so I can add some new pics to my digital keychain.
I love that thing!
It can hold 107 pictures, and I uploaded what I thought was a lot, but it was actually only 59, so yeah, I have plenty of room left to add new pics of my girls.

On Sunday, my sis is taking the teens and her girls, and a few friends to one of those franchise kids play places for Susan's birthday party.
She asked me if I want to go.
I honestly don't know.
I would hate to miss her party, Susan is my little bud, but I'm not feeling well, I have a ton of stress and a ton of work to do.

I have a million things to do at home here, plus I have a bunch of actual work to do, and I really need that money.
In order to get all that money on payday, I need to have them all done by Monday morning.
I'm sure I can do it if I just start working and don't stop.
I really need that money, and I really want to be there for Susan.
I'm sure I'll go.
I'll make myself a deal, if I can get more than half my work done, I'll go, and then I'll have to do all the rest of them done by Monday morning.
I can do it if I don't get sick again.

I haven't heard from Cindy yet, so today has just been a waiting game, doing other things to occupy myself, and my sister came by with a few things from my parents.
She had gone up to visit them last weekend, and brought me home some of my mom's most awesome blueberry muffins, some chocolate chip ones, a button up sweatshirt/jacket for me from my mom (thanks Mom!), and a painting my dad made for me.
I took a photo of it so you can see it.
I love it and am going to get it framed.
It's really so beautiful, I love it and you Dad!
You can click it for bigger.

I was asked in an email, if the weight loss product that I'm taking has anything to do with my insomnia, my bad sleeping problems I've experienced over the last few days.
The short answer is no.
The long answer is that I've had sleeping issues most of my adult life now.
It has nothing to do with any foods that I'm eating, or supplements that I may be taking, or drinking a diet soda at 9pm every night, it's just my body doing what it likes to do which is go for a minimum of 3 days without sleeping, to a maximum of 13 days without sleeping more than an hour or two at night, and then when it finally decides it's tired enough, I'll sleep for one night, about 8-10 hours, and be completely back to normal again.

On Wednesday night, I didn't sleep, on Thursday night, I didn't fall asleep until almost 5am Friday morning, and last night, Friday night, I again didn't fall asleep until a little after 5am again.
I woke up this morning around 11am because someone called but I didn't make it to the phone on time before they hung up.
I've just been surfing around the internet most of the day now, reading stuff, catching up on internet news etc.
But now I have a lot of work to do so if I owe you an email or a reply to a comment, it will be coming later on tonight.
I'll probably be able to catch up on everything tonight while we watch the new movies that came in from Netflix.

I am so glad that tonight will be the end of having to watch the Rocky movies.
Rocky Balboa came in today's mail, it's the last one, but Sebastian really wants to see it, and it is the last one, so just a little over an hour, 102 minutes running time, and the Rocky movie watching will be done and over with. *phew*

I was asked in an email if I'm still losing weight using the diet pills I'm taking.
I was planning on doing weekly updates every Friday, because I don't like being obsessed with the scale, but because I was asked, I'll share.

The answer is yes.
My starting weight was 190, and I'm now down to 178, so a total weight-loss of 12lbs.
Not too shabby eh?
I'm still going for daily walks, and I am using my elliptical just not using the hand poles, the skiing motion. I rest my hands on the stable bars in front of me, and that way I'm not jerking my shoulder around seeing as we still don't know what's wrong with it, and won't know until August 5th when I go see my surgeon.

I am still very pleased with these diet pills, they are still keeping my appetite in control, I'm not gorging myself on snacks at night which truth be told, was my downfall.
At night after dinner, I would eat 3-4 cookies around 7:30pm, and then around 9pm, a bowl of ice cream if the boys asked for some, or some chips and dip if one of the teens brought it out to the living room to snack on and watch a little tube.
I'm not munching on anything at night anymore, so I think that's a huge part of my weight-loss.

Also, I know this is kinda gross, but when you are constantly taking opiate pain relievers, your bowels get a little backed up.
The combination of vitamins and green tea and other stuff in them, has actually helped make the constipation go away.
Yeah, gross, I know, *laughs* but it's HUGE news when I can poop every day! 

Mark got a couple cards in the mail for his birthday, and just like he asked for, he got some money.
He decided that he didn't want me to cook dinner last night, he was going to order a bunch of wings from Wings n' Weenies, and he'd treat the family to dinner.

He ordered a half and half box, 50 wings, 25 hot and 25 bbq, and we all sat down and ate the very tasty wings while watching Rocky V.
Then after, we all went back to our chosen playthings to do.
Mark went back to the Xbox, Sebastian went back to his on line video game, and I went back to surfing the net, reading blogs, and playing on the local forums.

We all went to bed pretty late, that may have also contributed to this morning's barf-o-rama.
I woke up and just wasn't feeling right.
I was really hot, had that clammy feeling, but I blew it off.
The yucky feeling started to feel worse, so I went back to the couch to lay down.
Then it hit me like a freight train.
I got up off the couch as quickly as possible and ran to the bathroom.
I barely made it in there in time before the vomit started to rise up my throat.
I must have been in there puking for a good 10 minutes, and it was all bbq chicken wings.
I know it was the chicken because I did have some ice cream later in the night, but all that came out was bbq wings.

They were mighty tasty last night, but they don't taste so good coming back out.

I started my new weight-loss plan on Friday July 4th, and my starting weight was 190lbs.
It's been just a little over 2 weeks now, like 2 weeks and 2 days, and I've now lost a total of 10 pounds.

The Zylene 1.1 is working great, I still have tons of energy to get through my days unless I don't take it like yesterday, because I didn't want to be sitting in the theater with all that energy and not be able to do stuff except sit still. *laugh*
But everyday, I'm up, I take it along with my morning meds, and I start doing things around the house, cleaning, laundry, dishes, and going for walks to the store or around the hood are not a problem.
My appetite is still being curbed as well at week two the same as the first week, and I really do credit the Zylene with my weight-loss.
My "poofy" stomach is starting to shrink down, it feels squishier, not as bloated as it did, and it's actually a noticeable weight-loss in that area.
I'm very, very happy with this product.
No shakes, no jitters, no empty-hollow feeling in my stomach like other diet pills used to do, this is going very well and a 10lb weight-loss at 2 weeks is very good for me.
 
If this kind of weight-loss keeps up by this time next year, I might actually be able and willing to take one of those Vegas vacations that I keep talking about. I wouldn't mind going to Vegas with a hot banging body. *laughs*

I wanted to tell you that Menopause the Musical is really a great show.
We saw the 2pm performance today, a sold out show, and it was absolutely hysterical.
It was seriously a super funny show, I was laughing till I nearly pissed myself, had tears rolling down my cheeks.
The whole audience was laughing up a storm, they got a standing ovation at the end of the show it was that good.

Thy come back here about every 3-4 years, my sister had seen the show then, so she knew how good it was.
The same women who starred in it then, are still doing it today which is kinda cool.
Steady acting gig right?

The songs were absolutely hysterical, the skits were really funny, I LOVED the hippie-ish older woman, and the goody goody woman from Iowa.
They were so damn funny, their facial expressions, the way they moved their bodies.
All 4 of the women had amazing voices, it was just such a good show, you really should check the tour schedule and see if they will be doing any shows near you, and then get a couple of your girlfriends together, take your menopausal mom, and go have a great gal's night out.

Oh, and I was unable to get any pics or video because they have a very serious no camera rule, and they have people walking the aisles to make sure no one is taking any pictures, drinking anything other than the bottled water they sell, or eating.
The Asolo theater is a very old one, it was fully restored to it's original beauty, so they are very strict on the rules there. 

I feel like I'm being paid for using some amazing promotional products, but I'm not getting paid for using Zylene.
I purchased a bottle at my doctor's office, and am doing this with his permission and supervision.

Today is Friday, so it's been exactly 1 week since I started taking the Zylene supplement.
I woke up, went to the bathroom, and then stepped on the scale.
I am pleasantly surprised!
I have lost 4 pounds in just 1 week!
I started at 190lbs, and I'm now at 186.
That is awesome!

I have had so much energy every single day, I wake up every morning and take my morning meds and 1 Zylene capsule, wait for my pain meds to kick in, and then I just start going going going!
I'm walking longer and faster, I'm cleaning my house constantly, and my appetite has been curbed so well I'm just amazed.
4 pounds in 1 week is outstanding for me, this is really great!

Last night after my direct deposit came in around midnight, Sebastian and I grabbed the flashlight and went up to 7-eleven in search of cough medicine.
I was practically gagging the whole way there.
They had Robitussin for coughs, or the green Nyquil.
That was it.
So I bought a bottle of seriously overpriced Robitussin, a package of Halls cough drops, and bought the teens a soda and a beef jerky each.

When I went to pay, I grabbed the wrong card.
D'oh!
It kept getting declined, I was all confused.
I kept saying the direct deposit just went through, it's there, I don't know why it's being declined.
Then Sebastian goes; "Mom, that's your paypal card, your money is on the Amscot card."
Oh yeah! lolz
So I swiped that one and whatdoyaknow?
It went through no problem.
I can be a total dumbass sometimes.

I came home, took a huge swig of the Robitussin, and then sat down to start paying the bills.
By the time I finished that, the cough syrup kicked in and I was finally able to sleep.
I passed out cold and didn't wake up this morning until about 10am.
That was so nice.
The last few days without sleep due to hacking to death, sucked.
Now I need to finish the stupid child support crap.
I'll be glad when I'm done with it all.
It's pissing me off having to answer all those none of their fucking business questions.

Today is day 5 of taking the Zylene, and I have to tell you, it's working exactly as the packaging says it does.
My energy is definitely increased, and my appetite is decreased.
I am eating half of what I normally have, and I have tons of energy.
I'm not shaky or agitated, I just feel like doing stuff instead of being lethargic, even with the nasty head cold.
All the time I was laying down yesterday, all I really wanted to do was get up and do things.
Every day so far, I've gotten my dishes done, done a load of laundry every day, made the beds, picked up around the house, cleaned things I normally would have put off until the weekends.
I'd say it's going very well so far, and I know it will take time to see weight-loss results, but the way this is going, I know it's going to be a success.

I am not able to currently work out on my elliptical, but I can still go for daily walks which is highly recommended.
I woke up this morning around 9am, and took my morning does of meds, and included one capsule of Zylene.
I sat here as I usually do every morning, going through emails and work stuff, catching up on other things on the net, until my body has loosened up enough to move properly.
By the time my body wasn't so stiff, the Zylene had kicked in and I had a huge burst of energy, so I took total advantage of it.

I got dressed and decided to do my daily walk right then instead of in the evening when it's usually a bit cooler out.
While it was a bit hot out, I was able to walk faster and farther than I normally do.
This is a definite bonus.
I walked for 3 miles this morning then came back and took a shower, caught up on any emails that came in while I was out, and then went and finished up last night's laundry.

I feel really good, lots of energy, so I'm going to hop off of here for a little bit and go tackle the dishes which I've been avoiding for the last 2 days, and will probably run the vac around the house and maybe even go clean the bathroom.
Seriously, I feel great, I have more energy than I've had in months, but I'm not over doing things that will cause me to be in pain later on, and I'm keeping to my regular medication schedule.

Seeing as today is day 1, I'm going to share my starting weight.
I am as of this morning, 190lbs.
According to Lacey and Faiay, it was at the 2 week mark that they noticed measurable weight loss, so I'll either post my weight again then, or if I notice any weight loss before that.

I had posted on MSML about my doctor giving me the go-ahead to start taking this weight-loss product called Zylene 1.1 .
I have not only his full permission, but his full medical supervision as well.
Anyway, since I had seen Lacey shrinking away, I had been also discussing her weight loss and the product with a huge picture of the list of ingredients, in the girls private forum on the local Florida forums.
The thread is now almost 5 pages long, 20 posts per page, and one of the very first questions I asked was, 'is there anything in this list of ingredients that doesn't look safe?'
I asked that in my very first post as the thread starter, on page one.

I described Lacey's weight-loss success, and the cost of the pill, that no pill is the magic cure for fat etc, and a good discussion was going on, the girls were all excited, people started Googling it, and not a single person said a single negative thing until today.
This one girl who is much younger than I am, never married, no natural childbirths, lives an extremely healthy lifestyle of eating clean and working out all of the time.
She really does know her stuff when it comes to eating right and working out, she's great at it.
But she's also a bit of a pusher.

Let me explain.
You ever know someone who swears they smoked for like 20 years, quit cold turkey, and every single time they see you, whether or not you are smoking, if they know you smoke, they suddenly become the authoritative figure on how to quit smoking, how sick you are, how unhealthy you live your life.
Nag nag nag, pushing their oh so perfect healthy living on you when you didn't ask for their advice or opinion.

Before I left for my doc's today, this girl said there were a few ingredients that is in the Zylene that she would never put in her body.
I made the mistake of asking her what ingredient that was, and stressed that I had asked about the ingredient list in my very first post.
Big freaking mistake.
She then proceeded to talk about a single ingredient, chromium picolinate, which by the way, has been used in many different health supplements over the years, not just weight-loss drugs.
She explained how in test hamster cells, extremely large quantities of chromium caused oxidative stress and DNA damage, and the long-term effects of chromium has never been discovered or tested.
I thanked her for her answers as I always do, and had to leave for my appointment.

When I came back, posted to my blog, and then posted the news in that thread that my doc had given me the ok to go on the Zylene, and I did ask him about the chromium just so I could answer her question plus find out if it really is that dangerous.
He explained that in extremely high doses, it can be bad for some people.
I posted about him telling me to not take more than 3 per day, to start at one, move to 2 if I felt I needed it, and to never exceed the 3 per day limit.

Her next post to me was about using Fitday.com, and how it's helped her a lot, and then this question;
How is double or triple the amount of chromium you should be intaking not excessive?

I went back over my initial after doctor visit post, yup, I did explain about his orders to not take more than 3 per day, how I'd be under constant medical supervision, (I see him every 2 weeks. He will be doing weigh-ins, blood tests, blood pressure, check my diabetes etc) and how I had done my own research, asked him a ton of questions about this particular pill, got his ok, got tested by him, he will be supervising my weight loss, and she only saw the part about taking an excessive amount?!

I'll repeat what he said, "In extremely high doses, taking more than 3 per day in his opinion, can be bad for some people."
That doesn't say that 3 per day is the extremely high dose, and it's only for some people, not all, taking more than 3 per day could be bad for some people.

I'm going to be under constant medical supervision while I use this, I'll be seen every 2 weeks, be tested and monitored, I'm ok to go, I'm safe to go.
I'm not stupid about taking any weight-loss or other med for that matter.
I always look stuff up, I research even the medications that doctors have prescribed for me, I'm a well versed medical patient, who will be under medical supervision while doing this.

I really do appreciate how knowledgeable she is when it comes to healthy living and working out, she really does know her stuff, but again, I'm being treated by a doctor, under supervision, and I'm not an idiot.
I would never take anything that could potentially hurt me.
Chromium is actually ok for diabetics to take.

However, when chromium picolinate, which is the most bioavailable form, has been used, all of the studies have yielded positive results (in blood sugar, blood insulin and/or blood lipid [cholesterol and triglyceride] readings).

One of these studies, a 1997 study involving 180 type II diabetes patients in China, is a classic: it documented "spectacular" results in diabetes patients who took 500 mcg chromium picolinate twice daily. After four months, nearly all of the diabetes patients no longer had traditional signs of diabetes. Their blood sugar and insulin levels dropped to near normal--something that medications could not achieve.

In each 1 of these pills, there are 100mcgs of chromium picolinate, so 2 would 200mcgs.
A totally safe amount for diabetics which I am.
I am not an insulin taking diabetic, I have been controlling it through diet for quite a few years now, with the occasional screw up of course, but if chromium, even in an old study, has been shown to take away all of the traditional signs of diabetes by taking 500mcgs TWICE a day, then 200mcgs just once per day, is perfectly safe for me to take, and again, I'm under medical care.

I just don't understand these type of people who have to be so "perfect" about everything, think they know more than a doctor who knows this medication well, and is treating the patient.
It took all I had to not come back and say something snarky and mean, I often bite my tongue in the girls forum.
There's just something about putting a whole bunch of women together, even on line, that tends to bring out the kitty claws ya know?
And she just now responded to what I did write, which was just reiteration of all of the above information for the second time in that thread.
"You are definitely being smart about it. I hope it works for you. I know that if you were in perfect health you would be working out more intensely to get the results you want."

I just really want to know what part of I can no longer do traditional core workouts due to these titanium rods in my spine, was so hard to understand?
I can go for walks, I can use my elliptical, but sit ups? Crunches? Side bends?
Um, no.
Her reply is basically, that if I were in better health, which OMG, I'm so freaking sorry I'm not, that I would not be taking this pill, that the pill is cheating.
Maybe that's true, but she knows about my back surgery, it's been discussed multiple times, it was discussed again in that thread, so why the hell even say anything to me about being in perfect health?!?!

Why?!
Why.