Recently in Health, Beauty & Fitness Category

Most of my readers know that I had my neck fusion surgery on September 8th 2008, and have been healing as well as can be expected.
I will also be having a revision surgery in just a few months, because my head placement is all wrong.
My head is tilted and stuck downward, instead of straight ahead.
The surgery was supposed to prevent me from turning side to side, not up and down.
I can turn my head side to side no problem, but up and down is a no go.

But anyway, both of my teen sons have been battling a really nasty cold/virus since last week, and tonight I started getting it.
I'm coughing, sneezing, sniffly and runny nosing it since about 6pm today.
The sniffling, sneezing, and runny nose are not a huge issue, but coughing?
Holy hell it's painful.
Every cough makes my chest muscles, upper back and neck muscles, and head, move and twitch and spasm.
This is not fun at all, it's actually quite painful.
You know what else is really painful as well as super scary?
Throwing up.
Because of the way my head is tilted downward, my jaw cannot open as wide as it did before, and the neck opening is almost compressed like, so throwing up is a very painful and scary ordeal.
Sorry to be graphic, but this is a health blog right?

The rest is behind the cut, it is kind of graphic and sorta gross, so you have been warned.

Ya know, just when I think things are getting better, starting to looking up, life decides to kick me in the ass again.
Both of the teens have been really sick all week, I've so far remained unscathed, finally starting coming down with it myself.
They started theirs last Thursday, a full week and neither of them are better yet, well Mark is starting to get a little color in his face, but Sebastian is in pretty bad shape.

Around 6pm or so this evening, my nose started getting wicked stuffed up, I coughed and nearly hacked up a lung, (I'm pretty sure my right lung is still loose from being jarred like that) my chest hurts, and while I was coughing up that lung, this ripping and burning sensation tore all the way up through my esophagus and throat, and my tongue also started twitching and feeling scratchy too.
I'm trying to fight it off, I have echinachea, some antibiotics left over from my surgery, Nyquil, Tylenol, multivitamins, and lots of juice even though that will give me hives. (allergic to orange juice and most juices)

As far as my insomnia, it's not really any better.
I was awake from about 7am Tuesday, and didn't go to sleep until about 5am today, Thursday, and only slept for about 5 hours.
I've been wide awake all day, and right on schedule it seems, I caught my second wind and am so wide awake that if it wasn't so late at night, I'd be cleaning the house.
This has to stop but all sleeping aids, even prescription ones, have the exact opposite effect.
Instead of putting me to sleep, they perk me right up and make me behave like I took 20 hits of speed or drank 5 gallons of coffee.
I'm hoping because I'm starting to get sick, that it will somehow make me get some sleep tonight.

I have some stuff to do and then need to get back to answering all kinds of emails.
They are built up in there and I'm working on it all k?
O-k.

I love movies, I love seeing them in the theater, but I can't stand sitting in the theater.
The seats, no matter how nice the theater is with their seats that recline back, the extra over stuffed cushions, and the cushioned arm rests, it doesn't matter, it is far too painful for me to sit in one of the seats for 2 hours.
So I wait and wait, I add them to my Netflix queue using the saved feature for whenever it gets released to DVD, and I continue to watch almost every new released DVD I can with Netflix.
I am home 24/7, so I watch movies and blog.
So here's my list of upcoming theater releases that I will be adding to my saved Netflix queue.

Star Trek  I like all the Star Trek movies and shows.
Friday the 13th  is a remake, but doesn't look too bad. Plus, it has the hottie Jared Padalecki in it. W00t!
Timecrimes  I can deal with subtitles if the story is good enough. This one looks interesting.
Seven Pounds  It looks interesting too.
The Lodger 
Transporter 3  I liked the first two.
The Alphabet Killer  Based on a true story. Looks decent.
Up  I LOVE Pixar movies! Yay!
Angels & Demons  I loved the book, and Tom Hanks is back portraying Robert Langdon again.
My Bloody Valentine in 3D I loved the original movie which came out in 1981. It was probably the very first slasher film I ever saw. I was 11 years old and my passion for horror movies began.
Let the Right One In  A foreign vampire movie where the vampire is a young girl. Coolness.
The Unborn Oooooh, this looks good!
Plague Town  Looks kinda scary. Yay!
My Name is Bruce  Haha! I LOVE Bruce Campbell. He's playing himself in a movie about himself.
The Uninvited   Another remake of Japanese horror movies. Looks pretty decent.
Twilight  I've never read the books, (OMG!) but I love vampire stuff, so yeah, I'd like to see it.
The Haunting In Connecticut  Ooooh, another scary based on a true story movie.
And finally, Sunshine Cleaning  A movie about cleaning up crime scenes like murders, suicides etc. This is the exact line of work my sister in law heather does and she loves it, plus it pays awesome.

Do you suffer from chronic pain and insomnia?
I'd really like to know just how many people are out there suffering day in and day out, like I do.

I have chronic pain from both of my spine surgeries, I take pain meds to help fight that off, and they work fairly well most of the time, but I can't sleep.
And the no sleeping things is 100 times worse if I don't take my pain meds.

I'd say I get roughly about 2-3 hours of sleep per night, and that's on a good night.
Most of the time I lay wide awake in my bed until the alarm goes off to wake the teens for school, or I am just sitting here at my computer all night waiting for the alarm to go off.
Then, I'm awake almost the entire day, sometimes I get tired enough around noon-ish to take a quick 1 hour nap, and that's it, that's all my body needs because once I wake from the nap, I feel completely refreshed again.

So what about you?
Do you suffer from both chronic pain and insomnia at the same time?
Please answer my poll to the right.
The poll has no end date, so anyone can answer whenever.

Thanks!

I'm still not feeling all that great, so I thought I'd do a quick review of all of the movies we've watched in the last 2 months from our Netflix account.
And when I say quick, I mean like really short reviews, one sentence each.

Sex and the City: The Movie - I really enjoyed this one, didn't think I was going to, but ended up liking it a lot.
Kung Fu Panda - I LOVED this one. Animated movies are really cool.
War, Inc. - John Cusack flick, very entertaining.
Indiana Jones/Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - I was really disappointed. Not my fave one of all the Indiana movies.
The Happening - Freaking stupid.
Starship Troopers - Sebastian wanted to see this one.
Iron Man - Great movie, heavy action, liked it.
Smart People - Never watched it, returned it. 
Saw IV - I enjoyed the gore. 
White Noise - Stupid, hated it.
Street Kings - We liked it. 
Pathology - Kinda stupid.
Evolution - The teens rented this while I was in the hospital. They like it.
The Breakfast Club - Classic 80's flick.
Martian Child - Excellent John Cusack movie. Must see IMO.
Harold and Kumar...Guantanamo Bay - I freaking hate these movies, but the teens liked it.
The Bank Job - Pretty decent action flick.
The Secret - Really very interesting movie. You should watch it.
Vantage Point - Pretty decent action movie.
The Ruins - Not too bad for a horror movie.
Doomsday - Stupid.
Definitely, Maybe - Cute romance story.
Stop-Loss - Pretty decent war/soldier story.
The Tattooist- Pretty good horror flick, nothing too gorey, but good story.

I can't shake this, I simply cannot get myself out of this feeling of just blah and sadness, and worthlessness.
I know I'm not worthless, I know that, but I feel that way. I can't even cook a decent meal without being in absolute agony the whole time, and having to ask one of the teens to come help me get stuff out of the cupboards because I can't look up to even see what I'm trying to reach for.
It's just ugh.
I think the economy stuff has me bummed out too, not that I have an actual job outside of the home to lose due to mass layoffs, but it still has me all bummed out.
It's affecting lots of other people too.
The girls on the local forums are all worried about their jobs, wondering if they should invest in some type of  franchises for women or something, try and find some sort of job that they can do on the side, build it up a bit, and hope that it can sustain them should they lose their jobs.
So they're asking what other women would buy even in a bad economy and we're all like the basics, the needed things, no splurging so don't go selling jewelry and stuff like that.

I got my order from Misikko today, and I loved it, i want to get in the shower and use the new clarifying shampoo and conditioners, use the new awesome blow dryer, but meh, I really just want to lay on the couch and watch stupid crap on tv.
I just want this funk to go away but I don't know how to make it go away.

I miss being able to go for my daily walks with Sebastian at night, or by myself in the morning, every day.
I used to put on my stinky walking shoes, my mp3 player, and my hand weights that are actually self defense products.
In one of the weights, is some mace, and it's easily accessible with your thumb, you just flip and press, bam, the would be attacker gets shot in the face with mace.
I always carried them with me, not that anyone around here has been attacked while walking or jogging in awhile, but I always just felt better carrying them with me.

I just miss being able to go for walks, it was my way of trying to stay in shape and lose weight, but now I can't do that and it is really bumming me out.
I know that eventually I'll get there, that this will all be fixed and stuff, but right now it's totally bumming.

I'm officially in a depressing state of funk.
Is it a funk, or is it depression?
I think it's both really.
I have no motivation to do much of anything, my thoughts are all over the place, and I'm battling another horrible round of insomnia too.
I'm awake all night long, right up until I have to wake the teens for school, then I'm sleeping for 3, maybe 4 hours, and then still not doing anything, not doing what I need to be doing.

I have work to do but I can't seem to make myself do it.
When I finally do force myself to do it, it's not good, not good at all.
I needed to get a video done for my product review of that new grill I got, and it was already late due to the septic flooding issue we had here, and then I forced myself through the pain to make the video, I did do it, and then I played it back on my pc, and I was absolutely mortified by how I sounded in it.
My speech was slurred like I was drunk, but I wasn't drunk, I haven't had a drink in months, so it has to be the pain meds and muscle relaxers I'm taking.
It was bad, really bad, and that made me feel even worse than I was feeling before.
I deleted it and bought the ingredients to do it again, but because of how I'm feeling, the pain, the depression, I haven't done it again yet.
I AM going to do it tomorrow.
I WILL do it tomorrow.
I have to because I made a promise, and I always keep my word, I just need to not take any of my meds before doing it this time because I don't want to sound like a drunken idiot again.

I also need to get these sporadic migraines under control too.
It seems that every other day now, I'm getting a migraine that knocks me out of commission for a few hours. I have to go lay down in my pitch black room and just wait it out.
I curl up as much as my stupid body will curl up, and clutch my blanket until it passes.
I'm really trying to move out of this funk, to get past this depression over how my body is, how little I'm capable of doing anymore, but when I try to talk myself into feeling better, it doesn't work.
There's so much I can't do anymore, it bothers me so much, I have to walk with a cane now because my head is looking down and I end up losing my balance because I can't properly see in front of me.
I hate this.
I hate how this is, and I hate that I have to have another surgery again, and I hate being miserable inside.
I fake it every single day, I put on a big fake smile for my sons, I put it on for friends and family, it's a big fake smile because everyone else thinks I'm doing just great, that I'm recovering just fine, and physically, yeah, I suppose I am recovering just fine, but mentally?
Fuck no, no, I'm not.
I'm not happy.
I'm not ok with all of this, I'm not ok with the amount of medications, I'm not ok with the pain without taking them, I'm not ok with my body the way it is, and yes, I know, there are people who have it so much worse, I should stop feeling sorry myself, but dammit, none of this is ok.
I'm told it will all be ok, but when?
When is it going to be better, because it's been years now since I've even felt halfway human.
And how am I supposed to feel human with all this hardware inside me?
I know how my body moves, or how little it moves I should say, and it's not human type movements, it's stiff and sore, planned, careful movements so I don't get hurt, so I don't hurt myself.
People look at me like I'm some sort of freak, they stare at me when I go to the store, and I'm so tired of being stared at because of this damn body.
 Before the first spine fusion, they stared at me because of the huge hump on my back, then they stared at me because of the huge back brace, now they stare at me because of the neck brace and the cane, and the way my head looks down.
I'm tired of people asking me what happened too.
They always think it was some sort of accident, and I'm tired of saying no, I had scoliosis, and they don't know what that is so I have to explain, and they still don't get it.
It all makes me want to just stay in the house and not go out anywhere again unless I absoluely have to, and until the next surgery to fix my head is done and I'm fully recovered.
I'm tired, just so tired of it all.

I was digging around in my phone's pictures, and I found this pic I took of myself in the hospital.
That's the first brace I had right after surgery.
It was so uncomfortable and painful to wear, even though I was laying in bed the whole time with a pain pump.
And it smelled funny.
Not funny good, but funny gross.
I actually got nauseous a few times when I caught a whiff of it.
The nurses would come in and give me a bath with this awesome smelling body wash, and my whole body would smell really nice, and then just like 5 minutes later, I'd catch a whiff of the brace, either the plastic parts of it or the padding parts, but something on that brace just really stunk badly.
So between how it smelled and how painful it was on my chest, they switched me to another type of brace.

You can see how swollen my face was too.
My left eye was swollen and black and blue underneath, my left cheek was swollen, my top lip was swollen, basically, my whole face and neck were swollen up.
I also had that bandage on the side of my head from the bolt holes where they bolted me to the table for the surgery.

Just thinking about having to go through that again makes me kind of ill. 

And here I am, wide awake again.
It seems that when I'm physically feeling better, I can't sleep at all, and when my body aches badly, all I can do is sleep in 20 minute intervals every other hour, for days at a time until the muscle aches go away.

So anyway, I am really bored at this late hour, just blog hopping and forum surfing, when my other blog started getting slammed by spammers who post those nonsensical urls.
You know the ones, http://xhgeteiihjhxgsueipow.hgu
Yeah, they don't work, and they don't make any sense at all.
I think they post those urls in an attempt to see if the ip addresses get banned.
I'm not sure if that's the reason, but it seems logical to me.

Anyway, so I was going through the unpublished-waiting to be moderated comments on the other blog, which were mostly spam, when I came across a few comments that I never allowed to be published because it was replies that assumed they knew what I was venting about.
I read them all, and yes, I can see how they could be misunderstood, but only 1 person ever emailed me and outright asked me what I was ranting about when I had offered to answer what the rants were about to anyone who asked and just needed to know.
And I told her, and I even linked her to the actual forums that were causing me the stress.
She understood, it was all good after that, and life went on until the next time I ranted/vented about the forums again.

The forums were about cars, auto parts franchises , people who did cheap auto repairs, auto painting, auto detailing, cars for sale, and a sub-forum for sex and relationships, home businesses, work at home jobs for moms, a single parents sub-forum, and an all women sub-forum, on the huge network of forums that housed all of these topics.
I was the moderator of 5 of those sub-forums for about 1 and a half years, before I finally had to quit doing any of them because of the constant stress.
That network of forums and sub-forums went through moderators faster than a cruise ship full of people with e-coli and food poisoning, could go through 5,000 rolls of toilet paper before they reached port.
It seemed that every week there was a new moderator, or 10, and most of the older mods left in a final blaze of  typing glory.
When I was posting to my other blog all of those rants, I was venting there so as not to go out in a crazed posting frenzy calling everyone immature idiots and a few other choice names, before I finally quit.
Things were bad and getting worse as each day passed, it would become apparent later on that another online forum had found these forums, and had created tons of troll names simply to come on and cause drama.
They were playing a game with us and the members of our forums.
The game was called how many e-fights and e-drama can be started before our user-name gets banned or a moderator blows their lid and quits.
It may have been fun for them, but for us it was a nightmare.
Our long standing members were messaging daily for some kind of help, begging us to ban certain user names, all kinds of nasty posts, and emotions were on high strung with no xanax to be found anywhere.

Mark's Big and his wife Amy, gave me a gorgeous silk scarf a few years ago for Christmas.
It's this really beautiful long silk tie or scarf, whatever you call it depending on where you were raised.
The base color is white, and it has hand embroidered red and pink roses with various shades of green for the stems and leaves.
I don't wear it often, but when I do, I get tons of compliments on it.
I think Amy used to sell them at her store down in St. Armand's Circle.
She sold her shop for quite a nice profit last year sometime.
Amy used to sell a huge selection of products from all over for a bunch of high end items.
She sold a ton of really awesome beauty products that I could never afford, but she used to give me some products sometimes.
She also sold scarves like the one she gave me, silk ties shirts, dresses, skirts, wine, candles, all kinds of stuff. It was a really beautiful store right down in the circle.
I love going there, but I can't walk it much anymore, but when I do go, my last stop before leaving is always the Ben & Jerry's ice cream shop, for a small cone with some Phish Food.
Yum.

I have spent the last few days trying to recover from cleaning up all that water mess that the septic tank created.
I have been having some really severe muscle cramps and nerve spasms too which are quite worse that muscle spasms.
I had to go get my prescription at Walgreen's this afternoon, and while siting there waiting,  my body was literally shaking from the spams.
There were two people sitting waiting with me, and every time my body jerked, they kinda got freaked out.
I couldn't stop the spasms from happening.
If you get a nerve spasm in your leg, not only does your leg jerk, but it sends waves of spams through your whole body.
I was so embarrassed, but I knew there was nothing I could do, but I bet I sure did look totally pathetic.
If there had been something I could hide behind like some  bamboo shades  or a giant floppy hat and sunglasses, I would have.
It was absolutely embarrassing sitting there and having a nerve or muscle spasm in my arm or legs, and having people stare at me.
I had my neck brace on, my hair hadn't been brushed, and my whole body was doing the herky jerky.
I wonder what they thought was wrong with me.

I won Misikko's Before and After contest!
I was the one $100 winner, and there were 2 $50 winners.
I sent in my pictures that I took on the day I used my Turbo Ion Croc flat iron for the first time, and won.
W00t!

Dear Kat, I would like inform you that you are the winner for the $100 Gift Certificate for Misikko's before and after picture contest.  Congratulations on the amazing before and after picture you submitted to us. You have definitely shown what a woman could do with a great flat iron and some spare time.

We have a situation here at the house with the septic tank and the toilet.
We have some mild flooding issues, and we've been really lucky it hasn't gotten worse than it is.
The landlord will be here tomorrow to take care of it, but in the meantime, we've had to plunge the toilet and wipe up tons of water.

The teens have been awesome, they've really been helping take care of it all, but I did some of it too, and now I'm totally paying for it.
Pain doesn't really do what I'm feeling any justice at all.
I am going to be so fucking sore tomorrow.
Holy shit.
And we're still not done.
The water keeps leaking and I can't get the valve to shut off.
Dammit.

I spent the majority of the day laying on the couch covered up in a big huge blanket.
Why?
Because it was chilly here once again, and wow, my whole body hurt bad, the rods were super icy cold, I had no flexibility at all, I was walking around the house all stiff like Frankensteins first steps after coming to life.
Just totally stiff and sore.

Then when the teens came home, they did their chores and wanted to play xbox and WoW, but something was wrong with our KVM switch, so I had to get up from my comfy and warm couch and fix it.
Luckily it's a really easy fix or else it wouldn't have been getting done today.

As you probably guessed by now, I didn't get to go see Obama speak today.
Reasons being #1, I was way too sore to go stand out there for a few hours, and #2, my sister couldn't get out of work.
The boy she takes care of was admitted to the hospital again, he's not doing well at all, another infection.
I feel so badly for him and his parents, his whole family.
Greg as been in and out of the hospital since the beginning of August.

I've been suffering a horrid migraine the entire day, it's been unbearable at certain points.
I have been laying down on the couch or in my bed in the dark, just trying to get it to go away.
Relaxing and sleeping doesn't always help, it doesn't always make a migraine go away.
I still have it, it's not as severe as it has been, but it's still here.
Noises, lights, everything is just making my whole head hurt and it shoots down into my neck too.

I'm going to try and make dinner though, just something really easy like hamburger helper.
The teens love that stuff, and I suppose I should eat too.
I haven't been able to eat anything all day due to nausea from the migraine.

Oh! Yesterday, I got my new George Foreman grill I was telling you I was going to get to do for a product review.
I have found an awesome recipe to try out the grill with, and I'll be posting step by step instructions, pictures, and a video of the grill in action, as well as the recipe used so you can make it too on your George Foreman grill or even your outdoor grill.
I'm so very excited to make it, it's going to taste super yummy, I just need to get to the grocery store and pick up all of the ingredients to make it.

Ok, I need to go back and lay down for just a little bit longer before I start making dinner.
Later days.

Barack Obama will be here in Sarasota on Thursday October 30th 2008, at Ed Smith Stadium.
Gates open at 9am, and event begins at 11am.
My sister is wanting to go and asked me if I'd want to go, if I think I can physically handle the lines, all of the standing etc.
I honestly don't know if my body can handle it, but wow, it would be pretty amazing to go see and hear him speak.

I was involved in politics a little bit when I lived in Maine, to help change and enact some different child support laws, like taking away licenses for hunting, fishing, and driving, jail time for deadbeat parents, and stuff like that.
I had 2 meetings with then governor, Angus King, to talk about those child support laws, and other issues affecting single parents in the state.
Governor King was a very nice man, a good listener, and he asked a lot of questions about how life was for single parents in the state, the child support laws, what we'd like to see happen, and many more questions.
I was chosen to go and meet him to discuss those issues, because the daycare center I had my kids enrolled in was on the chopping block to lose some of their state funding due to statewide budget cuts.
The daycare's administrators asked for a mom willing to travel with them and try to help convince the governor to not slash funding to daycare centers because of how many single parents would be affected, might not be able to afford another center, and eventually lose their jobs because of the trickle down effect of losing child care, and I gladly agreed to go.
I was barely getting any child support back then, finding affordable daycare was very difficult, and if your kid got sick, employers weren't so patient when you needed a few days off because the day cares all said no sick kids could come in.
Things were hard for me and the other 40 some-odd parents who had our kids enrolled there.

Our first meeting with Governor King went so well, he invited us back to a much larger meeting to discuss it again, and other issues too, with some other lawmakers from the state.
I gladly went to both of those meetings, and within a year, child support laws in the state did get changed, and our daycare center did not lose any of it's funding.
I'm quite proud of the fact that I helped change some of those laws in Maine.
Now if only the laws for interstate child support cases could be changed to help speed up the process so parents aren't waiting almost 2 years for a 10 minute telephone hearing.

But anyway, about the campaign rally on Thursday, I've never been to a rally, it would be really exciting and interesting to go and see him, be a part of it.
I'm going to do my best to get plenty of rest and hopefully, sleep, on Wednesday night, so I'll be able to go with my sister.
I may have to bring my cane so I can lean on it when my body starts getting tired, but I really think I can do it, and this would be cool to go and be part of.

It's now a few minutes till 10am on Tuesday.
I have been awake since 8am on Monday.
I'm going to sleep now.
I'm going to go lay down on the couch and catch a few hours of sleep.
It's badly needed.
Later days.

I got back just a little bit ago from seeing the heart doctor so he could check on my blood pressure and my meds.
I'm in normal range now he said, and he's not sure if that's from the meds or from the surgery, but at least it's not really high anymore.

Then I headed up the street to have a couple xrays, and those are going to be sent to my surgeon.
Then I came back home.

Thrilling day so far eh?

In my situation, I am always trying to lose weight, always looking for the best ways to help me lose weight, control my appetite, curb my cravings for sweets and carbs, and it's not always easy.
I am currently using a product, I haven't noticed much of a change in weight or appetite suppression yet, but I'm still giving it a good try.
I am also attempting to find other people's stories of using it, product reviews, and I'm not finding hardly anything at all, but I am finding tons of other posts for  orovo reviews, and tons and tons of other weight loss product reviews, but none, or hardly none, for the one I am using.
Maybe it's because it's far too new on the market or people just aren't using it or something.
I'm really hoping that I will start to see some results from it soon or I'll just stop using it.
It's pointless for me to take a product that isn't doing diddly squat to help me.

I must have caught up on sleep over the last few days while I wasn't feeling well, because as you can see, it's now a little after 4am EST, and here I am wide awake again.
*sigh*
So I've spent most of the night forum posting, reading blogs, and just looking at stuff for the upcoming holidays.
Did you know that a good majority of internet retailers are already starting to advertise for the 2008 Black Friday start of the holiday shopping season?
They are.
Tons of sites are leaking out links for all of the black Friday sales.
The black holiday sales start on the Friday after Thanksgiving, so that's the 28th of November this year.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I was thinking about this, and talking to my sister about it yesterday too.
Because I just had surgery, I can't bend over to pick stuff up, and I can't lift anything over 5lbs, so what the heck am I going to do for our Thanksgiving dinner?
I decided that I'm just going to go and get a Honeybaked ham for our dinner.
They don't just do hams, they make all the side dishes too, so I can go there and get a ham, mashed potatoes, a veggie side dish, stuffing if we want it, a broccoli rice casserole, or garlic mashed potatoes.
That actually sounds really yummy right now, I love garlic mashed taters!
They make a ton of different sides you can buy separately, or order in like combo packs.
I may end up doing the Honeybaked thing for Christmas too if I am still on restriction then as well.
I have another post-op appointment on December 10th, so if he says that I still can't lift more than 5lbs, I'll end up having to get my holiday meals already done up for me.

I usually do the whole prepared holiday dinner from Publix, the turkey, 2 sides, 1 stuffing dish, 1 cranberry, and 1 gravy bowl, and the whole thing has already been cooked, you just have to heat it up, even the turkey, but if I am on lift restrictions, then I won't be able to do that.
If I go with the Honeybaked, the ham doesn't have to be re-heated, it's actually super tasty cold, especially the glaze crusty stuff they put on it.
It is so damn yummy.
Yeah, I'm totally going to do the Honeybaked thing for Thanksgiving.
I am drooling just thinking about it now. 
The teens could help me re-heat all of the sides in the microwave or oven depending on what the directions for heating say.
The sides are, of course, much lighter than the meat, so I could help the teens get them in and out of the oven and not have to bend over to do it either.
See, the teens know how to cook in the oven, but they get nervous doing it alone because they think they'll get burned on the racks and the walls of the oven. 
But if I stay in the kitchen and just stand there with them, they aren't as nervous reaching in and taking stuff out.
I know, kinda silly, but I guess they just like the idea of me being there just in case they get burned.

They are totally getting better at cooking now though.
Because of my current situation, they have had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping, and they have been cooking up some pretty tasty stuff.
I can't wait to get the George Foreman grill that I'm getting to do a product review on, and the boys will be able to cook on it so much easier.
They love to eat food cooked on a grill, but I have a wicked phobia about grill cooking.
The teens are afraid of getting burned by the oven, I'm afraid of getting burned by a grill.
meh.
I am always afraid that the flame will spring up suddenly while I'm like flipping a burger, and it will catch my hair on fire, or the propane tank will explode from the heat or something.
I know, it's a totally irrational fear, people have been cooking over fire since the cavemen first discovered it, people go camping and cook over fire, and practically every weekend, people all over the whole hood are bbq'ing, and no one ever gets burnt to a crispy, but I can't help it, I'm a total fraidy Kat.
haha

So yeah, I'll be getting the new safe and easy to use and clean George Foreman grill, and I'll be able to bbq and all kinds of other super yummy foods on it, and the teen food inhalers will have grilled animal flesh and grunt like their caveman ancestors did.
Yay!

I called back again about the forms I have that need to be filled out and mailed back, and learned the person I was leaving messages for hasn't even been in the office because she's been on jury duty.
I'm glad I decided to just press "0" and speak to someone else this time.
These are time sensitive documents/forms, they needed to have them in by Friday, but there's no way I can get all my docs to do them by Friday.
I explained that to the person I spoke to, so she put a message in that I need extra time.
Hopefully there will be no repercussions over them being late.

You would think that I had to call all the way to a NC health insurance office to get help with some of my paperwork for my health insurance and my disability stuff, instead of just right here in the very town I live in.
I need help with some of the questions on my disability and health insurance forms that I need to fill out and send back to their office right here in Sarasota, and I've now left 7 messages between last week and today, begging for someone to call me back, and no one has.

There's also a couple of forms they need my doctors to fill out and include with all of these papers, and I didn't get it (the packet) in time to take with to my last appointment with my surgeon, and I won't be seeing him again until December 10th, so I need to know if I'm going to be penalized if they aren't included.

I'm going to attempt to call them again, I'll leave another message if I have to, and if I can't get someone to return my call by tomorrow night, I'm afraid I'm actually going to have to go down to the office, take a number, sit and wait for someone, anyone, to answer just a few of the questions I have, on Friday.

I know they are really busy, but come on, after leaving 7 messages over the course of a week and a half, someone, anyone, should have caled me back by now.
Ugh!

I feel like crap still.
The last few days have just been miserable for me.
On top of my neck surgical issues, I have a cold that is making me just absolutely miserable.
I have just been laying on the couch curled up in my blanket, sipping on some juice, eating yogurts and jello, just trying to stay hydrated, and trying to keep some food in me to help me get over this.

I really can't wait to start feeling better so I can go and do the things I need to do.
I really would like to be able to go grocery shopping so I can get more food in the house that the teens can cook easily.
I also need to go get a pedicure in a bad way.
My toes are in dire need of rescue.
I also would like to go and get started on the DNA testing that I need to have done which will help the doctors be able to better help me.
If I can get an accurate diagnosis for either Townes-Brock syndrome or Riley Day syndrome, my doctors would be able to get me on the correct medications to help me feel better at least.
If they know for sure what is wrong with me, they will be able to help me.
I'm so tired of being sick.
I've spent years and years being in pain, getting sick constantly, having blood pressure issues, swallowing issues sometimes even with just liquids, the way my toes are formed, the issues with my back, my arthritis etc etc etc.

I just want to finally start feeling better, feeling normal.
Spending all of this time being sick or in pain or whatever, has just sucked.
At times I get severely depressed over it all.
Like this morning, I was just laying in my bed just bawling my eyes out over all of this.
I hate my life right now.
I hate all of this crap, I feel like a complete loser because I can't do anything anymore.
I can't cook much, I can't clean much, I can't do hardly anything, and I'm so freaking over it all.
I'm supposed to tell my doctors when and if I start getting depressed so they can help me.
I don't want to take an anti-depressant, I know that's what they would do.
They would put me on another med to alter my moods and I don't want that.
What i want is my life back.
Hell, I just want a life that sorta resembles what I had 8+ years ago.
I want to be happy, to go out with friends, to be able to play and have fun, live.
I just want to be ok.

It's official, I have a cold.
I knew I was coming down with something yesterday after sneezing for like 20 minutes straight.
I have spent the whole day today laying on the couch and wrapped up in blankets and just resting.
I came out and laid on the couch before the teens left for school, and Sebastian covered me up in his big comforter, fluffed his pillows behind my head, and gave me his baby blanket and his Sully to sleep with all day.
It looked as though I was sleeping with all kinds of baby bedding.
It was wicked comfy too.
It really did look and feel like I was swaddled up like a baby.
Kali and Shahiro kitties slept with me almost all day, they love it when I lay on the couch with all kinds of blankets.

I hate having a cold or whatever.
It sucks.
My body already aches so much from surgery, to get a cold on top of that is just plain miserable.
The teens are going to go to the store and get some more juice, yogurt, pudding, and jellos for me to eat while they are at school.
They also need to pick up some regular Tylenol for their use.
Sebastian has had some small headaches for the last few days, and we ran out, so they need to pick up some more.

My old duplex neighbor stopped by a little bit ago, to see how I was doing.
She had just come from her doctor's appointment and getting her scripts filled at the Walgreen's by my house, so she was close enough to stop by and see me.
She said she really misses me, to call her if I need anything at all like giving the teens a ride to the store, or whatever I need.
She said I looked like crap.
It's not an insult, I really do look like crap today.
My skin is pale and clammy, my hair is a mess, I have huge bags and dark circles under my eyes, just miserable looking and feeling.

I hate how screwed up my immune system is, I catch everything, and flu season is coming yet I can't have a flu shot because it could make me sick because of my low immune system.
I'll probably catch it this year.
That will suck big time.

When the teens go food shopping today, I've added to the list, some more acne treatment for them, and a big bottle of cherry Nyquil for me.
I really think I'm starting to come down with a cold.
I have been sneezing all night, I'm stuffed up, and more achy than usual.
It sucks.
Sneezing is as bad as vomiting when your neck is like this.
Every sneeze makes my neck jerk, even in the brace, the jerk sends waves of pain down my entire spine.
I should know that's how it's going to be, I have those rods the entire lentgh of my spine, head to tail bone, every movement effects the entire rod/spine contraption.

I am handling this whole thing really pretty well, I deal with it alright for the most part, but man, when I'm stomach sick or having a sneezing fit like I did this morning, I don't deal with it ok.
I hate that this is what I have to deal with for the rest of my life now.
Every movement is a full body movement, it's not easy at all.

I liked the little cityscape scene that came with this MT theme, but it didn't really fit my blog's name.
I finally got around to making a new header, one that fits the name KatScan.
It's xrays and pictures of all of the spine surgeries I've been through over the years.
My spine fusion from February 2006, and my neck fusion from September 2008.

These surgeries have been such a major part of my life for the last 8+ years now, and I'm still not done.
In about 6 months I get to go have a revision surgery on my neck to fix my head placement, and then I'll be permanently fixed looking straight ahead.
I don't really want another surgery, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking down either.
I've got a life to live when this is all over, I'm moving forward, I want to look that way.
Face whatever the future brings my way.

I have all these papers and things I need to fill out, stuff for my medical disability, a hospital 'how did we do' letter, and some other things.
Because my head is at a downward 20degree angle, it's very hard for me to sit and fill these out comfortably.
I can't do it at my desk, I can't do it at my coffee table, kitchen table, or at the counter on the bar stools.
But I have to get these done.

Where is the absolute best place to sit and do them that is the right height and easiest way for me to see and write?
Go ahead, guess.
You got it?
You'd be right if you said the toilet seat.
I throw the lid down, grab a hard book, and start filling out forms.
It is truly the most comfortable way for me to not be in pain while filling all of these out.

Of course I have to keep moving every time one of the teens has to pee and they laugh at me, but that's ok, this stuff has to get done.

What song is that from?
Anyway, I do think it's going to rain either tonight or tomorrow at some point.
The pain has been almost unbearable today, and it usually gets like this when there's a storm on the way.

Speaking of storms, I was laying down under a blanket trying to get my joints all warmed up and watching daytime tv shows.
I was watching the soap All My Children, and they all just nailed with a huge tornado that wiped out like half the town.
Like everybody is dead or dying.
I bet my parents are watching this.
They've been watching this show for years and years.

I finally got in there and took a complete shower from head to toe.
I took the hand-held shower head down, and turned the water on.
I don't have any Moen faucets in my tub, but mine do the trick just fine.

I hopped in and grabbed the shower head, and soaked my hair which I had un-braided before getting undressed, then I washed my hair with shampoo for the first time since September 8th.
It felt so amazingly awesome, clean hair is just so under-rated people.
I think that might possibly be the longest time I have ever gone without washing my hair.
When it was time to rinse it out, it was a little bit of a challenge.
My head is tilted down a bit, and I can't stand to shower because I get a little dizzy with my head down and having to lean backwards, so that old lady shower chair actually came in quite handy.
I sat there and leaned back with one hand grasping the handle, and with the shower head, I was able to rinse out all of the shampoo.
Another totally under-rated thing.
Feeling the water raining down over my head and hair, just felt so good.
I plopped in the conditioner, and then set to work washing my body and shaving my legs as best I could.
Sitting down made it a little easier, and I got quite far this time.
I only needed Sebastian's help for the really lower parts of my legs, not too bad.
A few weeks ago I couldn't get past mid-calf.
I rinsed out the conditioner, rinsed off all the soap, and stepped out.

I got dressed and then set about brushing my hair.
It wasn't too bad, braiding it really helped keep it from getting all matted and messy.
I still am losing some hair though, not sure if it's from the cutting we did, or the cutting they did, but 2 huge clumps filled my hairbrush up.
I probably have enough to make hair for 2 Barbie dolls.
But anyway, I'm all clean, head to toe, (I used my back scrubber brush to wash my feet and toes) I did it by myself for the first time in over a month.
It's the little accomplishments that help me get through this recovery.
Each day things get a little easier to do, and that's a good thing. 

I'm finally starting to get my bearings around here after a month out from the surgery.
I'm slowly starting to do some cleaning and cooking, not much, I get tired and sore rather quickly, but I am at least making dinner every other day, to every 2 days, which the teens are quite happy about.
They've been eating a lot of take out, frozen nuke 'em foods, subs from Publix, lunch meat and tuna sandwiches etc etc.
They were getting quite tired of it, so I made my first meal the other night.
I made some shrimp and french fries, and only needed help getting the cookie sheet in and out of the oven, because I'm still not allowed to bend over, pick up, too much.

I think on Saturday, Chris, Mindy's husband, is coming over to finish the AC unit stuff.
He's going to remove the old rotted drywall from the old AC unit dripping water so much, and I think her son Jeff is coming to help, and install new drywall.
That's good, because as helpful as Mark is, he's never done drywall before and wouldn't really be much help at all.
We can paint later on.
My sis was planning on bringing some paints at some point, and painting the living room for me. She had some colors left over from when she painted her new house.
So things are getting on, I'm doing better slowly, and hopefully it will just keep getting easier and less painful to do stuff around here.
I hate not being able to do stuff.
I'm such an independent person, so to not do stuff is driving me crazy.
I hate "resting".

I have no idea what the best fat burners out there are, but I have been using and researching a new weight-loss aid for the last few days that I will be posting about some more in the upcoming days.
I was taking a weight-loss aid before my surgery that was really working, but had to stop due to the surgery, the doc didn't want me taking anything that wasn't a prescription, for fear that it would interfere with my recovery.
When I got home, I had an email from someone about a new product, and would I be interested in trying it.
As someone who can't do traditional workouts anymore, and needing to lose weight, I'm always interested in trying whatever may work for me.
So I'll be telling you a bit more about that in the next few days, how it works, and my opinions of it as I learn more about it and what it may do for me.
 

Hardly anyone answered my question below, so I kept doing some searching and found the answer!
I found a site called Learn about perfume, that explained how to store your perfumes so they don't go sour.

Heat can distort scents and cause the liquid to turn sour. You can tell when a fragrance has been exposed to heat because the scent is highly concentrated at first then becomes pungent. It begins to smell like a form of mildew or mold mixed with perfume.

Many times you will hear the recommendation to store your perfume bottle in the refrigerator to keep it fresh. It is also supposed to offer a refreshing shot of fragrance to start your day.

This is fine if the fragrance is eau de toilette or eau de parfum. These types of fragrances do not have as much of the essential oils as pure perfume. The more expensive perfumes should be stored at room temperature so the oils can stay more fluid.

Another factor in perfume storage is light. While most artificial light is fine, sunlight can quickly break down the components of most fragrances. Do not store your perfume on a dresser in direct sunlight or if you do, try to keep it in its box to protect it.

To help combat the problem of breakdown due to light, some manufacturers have turned to using dark colored bottles to protect the liquid inside. This is especially true in the more expensive brands of perfume.

You should also keep the top on the bottle as tight as possible. Evaporation can concentrate and distort the scent. One way to counter this problem is by choosing a spray over a splash. Since the top is always tight there is less chance of losing your scent into the air.

Humidity can also play a part in how long a fragrance lasts. Cologne lasts longest in drier places. Try to store your perfume in a room that is as dry as possible in your climate. So maybe the bathroom cabinet isn't the best place for that bottle of Chanel No. 5 that your husband spent a small fortune for.

Thanks to that site for answering my question, now I know how to keep my new perfume, and my other faves, from turning sour!

I just bought a new bottle of perfume, Carolina Herrera - Carolina Herrera - Eau de Toilette Spray, because I love the smell of it.
The fragrance notes are Jasmine, Tuberose, Sandal, and Amber, and they smell so amazingly wonderful together, and I absolutely love Jasmine as a top note, it smells so good, and it works with me and my skin type and natural body oils.

I have several other favorite scents like, Chloe and Tresor, and they may not be super expensive perfumes, but I hate it when a scent goes sour before I can use it all up.
So I want to know how and where you store your perfumes.

Eau de toilette, cologne, Eau de parfum, EDP spray, Eau de Printemps, Elixir de Parfum, and pure perfume oil, and so on.
I know that all of them should be kept in their original boxes because they are specially designed to keep out all light, sun and bulb, and you should keep them in a cool, dry and dark place, but where is that best place?

I know some women keep them in their closet on a shelf, others keep them on their dresser, or in a drawer in their bedroom or bathroom, (bad idea as bathrooms tend to be humid from the steam created from showering an bathing, and this creates heat that can turn your scent sour) and some women keep certain ones in their refrigerators.
Like cologne actually can keep for up to 3 years if kept in the fridge, but most women who know that, also store all of their scents in the fridge, and not all of them should be that cold, but which ones?
Cool doesn't mean fridge temps with certain scent creations.
Like pure perfume, should never be kept in the fridge, because the oils in it can actually congeal, and when you take it out to use it, even after just one night in those temps, the scent has soured, and smells like vinegar.
If any of your scents smell even the slightest bit like vinegar, throw it out, it's gone bad.
Most scents have a shelf life of 3-4 years if stored properly, so how do you store yours?

It's been an incredibly long day for me already.
I barely slept last night, not going to bed until almost 7am this morning, and was back awake by 10am.
I just couldn't sleep at all, far too many things on my mind.

My own health issues for one, I was just thinking about it all far too much, driving myself nuts.
And then my sister called me and told me that our Dad was in the hospital, he had what is called a transient ischemic attack , which is a transient stroke that lasts only a few minutes. It occurs when the blood supply to part of the brain is briefly interrupted.
He had 3 (three) of those this week!
I've been worried about my Dad all night and all day now too.

My Mom emailed me and gave me the hospital phone number and his room number, so I called him and he sounds ok, just very tired.
He told me not to worry, he's fine and he'll be going home tonight, just waiting for them to cross the t's and dot the i's.
He's hoping to be released by tonight, and he's being very stubborn.
He refused to take the blood thinner Heparin , he wants to see his primary care physician and his cardiac physician, he doesn't trust Southern Maine Medical Center at all, and Heparin is the drug that has been in the news (link above) a lot lately for possible recalls, and it's the drug that was given to Dennis Quaid's twin babies in an extremely high dose which almost ended their lives.

I was upset about this because my parents did not call any of us kids, my sister had to beg our Mom to tell her where Dad was, and Mom said that's what Dad wanted, he didn't want any of us to know and worry until they knew for sure what had happened to him.
But he's our Daddy ya know?
We love him and worry about him, and not being told how our parents really are, is just as upsetting as hearing how they really are.
We kids need to know this stuff.
I know I live too far away and can't fly back home right now, but I still want to know this stuff, they are my parents.

And I also spent most of the morning dealing with Verizon again.
My phone line last night was all static, my DSL kept going in and out, and when I called tech and repair, they kept telling me the problem was inside my house, my equipment.
Well a repair tech came out here this morning and guess what?
The problem was not on my end, it was in the line up the street, a major telephone line had gotten fried, he repaired it, but I am so sick and tired of Verizon's crappy customer service, they always blame it on my end before they even investigate the problems.
I'm just sick of it.
I pay my bills in full and on time every month, except last month because I was in surgery, but I always pay in full and sometimes Verizon forces me to pay more than my actual bill.
So why the hell do they treat me like crap all the time?!
It's just crappy customer service no matter what the issue is.

I'm tired and worried, and not feeling so well.
I either caught the stomach thing the boys have or I'm just exhausted.
I'm going to go lay down on the couch and watch Iron Man, get some rest, and I'll be back around later on. 

I think I've said the word overwhelmed at least a dozen times this past week, because it really has been overwhelming.
And amazing.
And humbling.

This year, for the 7th annual blogger boobie-thon, instead of being able to volunteer my time doing some photo editing due to my neck and spine fusion surgery, I was instead the blogger chosen for the bloggers helping bloggers portion of the donations raised.
That amount is $359, and I was extremely greatful when the paypal donations reached that amount, blown away.
But the donations just kept coming and coming, and coming, all week long, right up until the very end of the boobie-thon, with the last one coming in at 11:52pm EST on October 7th 2008.
I sat here all week, in like a state of shock, watching how much was being raised for the boobie-thon and for myself.
I stopped keeping track of the donations for me around Friday mid-afternoon, I just couldn't keep up with them.

The boobie-thon is now over, and they raised an incredible amount!
$9,300.00 this year, it exceeds the amount raised last year, and breaks the record set in 2006 .
That's absolutely awesome!
What started out as a way to get a friend a plane ticket to not have to spend a holiday alone , has grown into an annual event that has now raised over $50,000 since 2002.
The event grows bigger and better every year, with more people volunteering their time to edit photos, calculate donations, publish both to the site, and even more people are sending in their pictures, and more and more people are donating money, and even more people are spreading the word about this wicked fun and great cause.

I have always loved being a part of it, volunteering my time, and when I found out back on August 5th that my surgery was going to prevent me from doing it again this year, I was seriously bummed out.
I always have such a good time editing the photos, chatting with the other volunteers, spreading the word on blogs and forums, and just being a part of something so cool and fun to do, that is helping to raise money to find a cure for breast cancer.
Some people walk, companies sell pink products, other people collect pink lids, and "we" all show our breasts, male and female, to raise some money.

Over $50,000 since 2002.
Who would have thought.

And I am still sitting here completely overwhelmed (there I go again, but I just don't have the words to say it another way) and blown away by the incredible outpouring of support, kindness, and generosity shown to me.
My fellow bloggers, total strangers, (and hopefully new friends) donated money to me this week when I needed it.
I had my surgery on September 8th, and a month later, October 8th, a whole month without being able to work doing product reviews and writing articles on my blog, a whole month without making an income, and people so generously donated money to me to help me pay my bills.
The amount is more than enough to pay my rent and bills both this month and next month.
I finally totaled all of the donations up at the end of the boobie-thon.
$1,495.52.
Amazing, thank you.

I tried to send a personal email of thanks to every one of my donors, I checked and double checked to make sure I didn't miss anyone, and quite a few people replied to me offering words of support and encouragement while I am recovering.
I was humbled by a few of the replies I received, and truly humbled by one reply from someone only known to me by the name of The Butterfly Temptress.
Just when you think you have things rough, there's someone else out there who has it worse than you do.
Her donation was generous, and I sent her an email to say thank you, and she replied with these words;

"I am dying of an inoperable brain tumor. Knowing that you are able to be treated is music to my ears. I was so glad to be able to donate money for a person who knows what it's like to be sick, not some man in a suit who makes a half a million a year."

How quickly life comes into focus.
How quickly I realized how good I have it, I get to live.
I received a few more email replies that humbled me even more, I cannot even tell you the amount of times I sat here and cried this week.
I cried for myself, I cried for others, I cried because this past week has been an experience.
It has been a true experience of people helping people, coming together for a good cause and helping someone else out along the way.
People really are good and kind, and they do good just for the sake of doing it, not for any reward, but just because helping your fellow human being is reward enough.
Heck, I'm sitting here crying right now because this really has been an amazing and humbling experience for me.
I always try to do right by my fellow human beings, I try to help others when I can, it's not always money, but I try to give of myself, of my time, because I enjoy it, I like knowing that I helped someone with whatever it was they needed help with.
Sometimes I get so discouraged by the greed and hatred in the world, and then I read a story of someone helping someone else, and it restores my faith in people again.
This week has been one of those restoring moments for me.
Everyone who donated to the boobie-thon and me, people who sent me get well cards, a friend and her husband doing some home repairs that I can't do right now, it's been an incredible few weeks for me.
I am so lucky to have so many wonderful people in my life.

I think I've wept and rambled here long enough, I really just wanted to say thank you to everyone, and my emotions got all weepy, and well, this is what happens when I get weepy.
I run and ramble on. 
Thank you to everyone.

I just got back from my post-op appointment with my surgeon, I'm tired, in serious need of a nap, but wanted to let everyone know how it all went.

I had a series of xrays to see how the new fusion is holding, and it's looking good.
None of the titanium has moved, it's all in place where it's supposed to be, and he says it's doing good.
There will be a revision surgery, probably in about 6 months.
My head is still 20degrees off from being at the right place, meaning, my line of sight is 20degrees down instead of looking straight ahead.
So I'll be having another surgery, where he'll remove a vertebrae, and then install some more hardware which will place my head dead center, and no more movement will ever be possible again.
I have very limited movement right now, no left or right, some down, no up.
After the revision surgery, I will have no movement at all.
That's totally ok with me.
This neck surgery saved my life.
My vertebrae were pinching off my spinal cord, compressing it, I would have died.
Not being able to ever move my head in any direction ever again, is ok with me.
I've accepted all of this, I'm ok with it, so another surgery to set my head placement correctly so that I can look at people's faces and not their chests, is so totally ok with me.
We need to wait the 6 months so that this fusion can heal up a bit, too much trauma all at once is a very bad thing, so we'll wait and do the correction when I've healed up enough.

He's given me permission to sit a little bit longer, I can sit 1 hour, lay down 1 hour, for the next week, and then after that, he told me to do what feels best for me, to not over do anything.
If I feel tired, go lay down and rest, if I have energy, go ahead and sit for awhile.
This is good news for me.
I can now take on some more work, not as much as I was doing before surgery, but I can take on a bit more and that's awesome.

So now it's time to gross you out with some pictures of the stitches coming out.
As I posted this morning, the boys both stayed home sick from school, and Sebastian went with me.
He played the role of the documentary photographer, and got some pretty decent shots of my stitches coming out.
Ready?
These are all clickable for bigger if that's your thing.

Here's the beginning of my stitches coming out.
You can see part of my scar from my spine fusion that I had in February 2006.






















It kind of looks like a zipper.





















That screwed up haircut, is NOT what my sister did, that's the shaving and the cutting that the surgeons did before doing this fusion surgery.
Lovely isn't it?
Super short on one side, long on the other.
They need to keep their day jobs as surgeons.
Hair stylists they are not.
And yes, the stitches do go up into my hairline.
There are 3 more stitches up in my hair that you cannot see.
The stitches in my neck and hair line, hurt like crazy coming out.
I don't know why, but they stung a bit, and 4 times he had to stop while I caught my breath from having them tug at my skin so much.





















All in all, I'm doing ok.
I have some pain which is normal, I have some depression which is also normal.
Both of those things will go away in time, losing mobility isn't an easy thing at all, especially a single mom who's used to doing everything by themselves, for themselves.
Losing the ability to move, to look at things, to have some major down time, is not at all easy to accept, but you start getting used to it, you start accepting it, slowly.
And that's where I'm at.
I'm accepting all of this slowly, I'm dealing with it as best I can.
I know that this surgery saved my life, but at the same time I'm very sad for what I've lost.

But even though the road ahead is still going to be a bumpy one, I have another surgery to face in my future, I'm ok.
I can work for now, I can start being a little more productive, start doing more at home without over doing it, and start getting some of my life back.
I know that in 6 months or so, I'll be right back here recovering from another surgery, but that's ok, it really is.
I'm alive, I'm still here to watch my sons grow up, to laugh and play with them, to be here, and that's what is the most important.

I need to get my butt in gear, I am leaving at 11am to go get my stitches out.
All the way to Safety Harbor.
Ugh.
Such a long, long drive.
Mindy is taking me, my sis is sick with some nasty cold thing and strep throat.
And both my boys are home from school sick too.
They both have stuffy heads, headaches, just feeling miserable.
I really hope that they don't have what she has, I can't even imagine having strep with my neck like this.
Yuck.

I've been so overwhelmed with the outpouring of support from the boobiethon donors.
It's been absolutely incredible, I am just so so greatful, thank you all so much!
I was surprised and greatful to just get the first $359, but it's now over $1,000.
Absolutely amazing and so needed.
I still don't have the ok to be working again, I'm hoping to get that today at my appointment, but if not, I know that I will be able to pay all of my bills thanks to all of the people who have donated to me in support of the boobiethon.
I can't wait to be able to volunteer again next year, it's such a good cause and it's something that I just love doing.

In some of my bored downtime, I have been playing on Twittermoms.
I started a new group, I was feeling "alone", so if you're on Twitter, and on Twittermoms, and an atheist, agnostic, or just not sure, come join my small group for Atheist Moms.
It's small but growing.

Ok, time to go get dressed so I can get these itchy stitches out.
Later days!

The teens, as I've said, have been doing all the household stuff, the cooking and cleaning, and the shopping.
I needed a few things from the store today, so off they went.
When they returned, Sebastian declared that he had broken his foot in several places.
I had him take off his shoe and I took a look at it.
I saw no redness, no swelling, no black and blue, but every time I touched his heel, he let out a yelp.
I took a closer look with a flashlight, and saw what may be a plantars wart, but may also just be a small cut that I can't really see, or something else, who really knows? I'm not a doctor.
He's always walking around barefoot, he goes outside to get the mail in bare feet, he took a walk through the backyard yesterday with no shoes, so it could be anything.
So I grabbed some Neosporin and a big band-aid, and patched him up.

A few hours later, I got an email from him.
He took it upon himself to look up what he thinks is wrong with his foot.
What does he think he has?
Plantar Fasciitis .
Yes, he thinks that's what's wrong with him.
He always thinks something is wrong with him, not to the point of being a hypochondriac, but every time he has the sniffles or a cough, he's sure that he's caught the Avian bird flu or something just as horrible.
He's funny like that.

Part of me thinks he's always worried that he has something because of me, because of my constant and ongoing health issues.
I think he's worried about illnesses because he only has one side of his families health history, his father's side.
My side is unknown because of me being adopted, and cancer runs on his father's side.
I think he may be panicky and worried that he's going to really get some sort of illness, so he's mentally preparing himself for it if and when it happens.
I don't press him about his worry about being sick, I know that when other health issues have come up, he gets all teary eyed and upset, talking about my health stuff really gets to him.
One of these days, I will sit down with him and try to work out why he's always worried about being sick with something, see if we can't get to the heart of the matter, but for now, I'm just not going to press him on it, he's already dealing with a lot of things. 

The nurse was here this morning, a different nurse than the ones who have been here before, and she didn't like the way that we've been changing out bandages.
She wanted to do it a different way, so she had me lay on the end of my bed, face down.
This was not good.
Within minutes, it felt like my throat was being squished, my vocal cords felt tight and compressed, and I literally couldn't breathe.
I had to roll over and she was like "what are you doing?!"
I told her that I've not laid on my stomach before, I don't sleep that way, and I've never laid on my stomach to have the bandages changed, and I couldn't breathe, it was hurting me quite badly.
She was "oh, I'm sorry."
I told her to note that in my chart, no face-down bandage changes ever again.
I was actually kind of scared at how quickly I couldn't breathe, at how much it hurt.
She finished up with me on my side, and she left.
She didn't know anything about why she was changing my bandages, like she didn't read my chart.
It says why they are doing this in my chart, I shouldn't have to explain the whole 2006 spine fusion and the new fusion to the nurses when they get here, they should read my chart, know what's going on, and be prepared for what my back looks like before they get started.

After she left, Mark woke up and headed into the bathroom.
I was in the kitchen when he walked past me, and I had to do a double take.
He had his whole face covered in stuff, like one of my face masks.
I asked him what that was for, and he told me he's started putting on a face mask at night because it helps to clear up his acne .
I was like, oookaaay, and I giggled a wee little bit, and he told me not to laugh, he said it really works, his face always looks really good in the morning when he does it.
Old zits are dried up, and no new zits have formed over night.

Hey, whatever works right?

I took a shower just now, I really needed to get in there and get myself clean after sweating so much over the last 2 days.
After I got myself all clean, as much as I can anyway without getting the stitches wet, I decided to make an attempt at shaving off the monster leg hairs.
I was already seated on my old lady shower chair, I lathered up my right leg with shaving cream, and tried to start shaving at the ankle and work my way up like normal.
I couldn't do it.
I tried again.
Nope, absolutely no flexibility to bend and reach that low on my leg.

This surgery, this spine fusion, because it's connected to the titanium rods that I had placed in there in 2006 at the