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I'm so over this bailout shit.
Why are we the people, the tax payers, having to pay for the private sectors mistakes?
What right do these private companies have to go to the government and ask for billions of dollars from us, to fix their fucking mistakes?!

The big 3 auto makers went to congress today to ask for bailout money, they ran their companies to bankruptcy, gave their top level execs million dollar bonuses, sometimes several million dollar bonuses, and now they want us taxpayers to fix their money problems.
Several states have also gone to congress to ask for money, everybody is on their way there to ask for money.

All these private companies that made huge financial mistakes, they over spent, they gave bonuses out when the shouldn't have, and now all of them are getting in line to get a hand out from the government, from us.
What do we get?
What do we the people get from this bail out?
Nothing.
We aren't getting any of this bailout money, yet we are the ones who should have gotten the money, this is our money.
If the government gave every single tax payer in the country, $100,000 each, the people could pay off their debts, they could pay their mortgages, auto loans, insurance bills etc etc etc, and these companies would all be getting their money the right way, from the people who have the mortgages and loans.
People wouldn't have to lose their homes, they wouldn't have to lose their cars, or their insurance, but no, the government is seriously considering giving all of these companies money while the people still struggle, still go into foreclosure, lose their life's savings because the banks are going belly up.

If the big 3 auto makers go under, don't get this money, there is going to be such a huge problem in this country, an even bigger financial shit pile than it already is.
I'm glad that congress is giving them a hard time, really debating with them over how they mismanaged their companies and money, and that's how it should be.
It shouldn't be a get in line and get some money, it should be hard scrutiny, demanding to see all of their financial records, seeing where and how they all fucked up, demanding to know how they will use the money to fix everything, demanding to know if it will really secure them and make it so they won't come back asking for more.
The big 3 will probably get the money because there are over 2 million jobs at stake if these companies go bankrupt.
2 million people who work at these automakers, will be unemployed.
That's huge.

But isn't this unconstitutional?
Mike Huckabee was on The View today, and he said it's unconstitutional, I don't know how, he didn't get to explain it, because that dimwit Sherri Shepherd interrupted him with some stupid question about his talk show, and a whole bunch of stupid giggling like she always does, but I would have loved to hear him explain how wrong this is and why.

This whole thing is just mind blowing and numbing.
All of these private companies all worked hard to become huge businesses, they were living the American dream,  then they got greedy and overspent, really screwed it all up, and now they want someone to fix it for them.
I've always believed that you could do whatever you wanted, be as successful as you could possibly be as long as you worked hard for it, and if you screwed up, it's on you, it's your fault, and you need to fix it yourself, that no one else should have to help you fix your mistakes.
But here are all these companies and banks, standing in line, waiting their turn to ask for some of this $700 billion in bailout money.
Why are we bailing them out for their mistakes?
Why can't they be allowed to fail?
They screwed up, they should have to face that themselves, fix it themselves.
All those big execs who took the big bonuses, should have to take massive pay cuts, hell, give some of the money back, they can't possibly have spent it all yet, so they should all have to give it back to help their companies survive.
If they don't want to lose the company, they need to do what it takes to save it themselves, and if that means they have to reinvest their bonus money, then so be it.
 
Everybody bitches about welfare, they say that people shouldn't just get a handout, that they should have to get back out there and get a job again, earn their own way.
This bailout is basically welfare for big companies who had earned billions and billions of dollars and screwed up.
Why is no one calling this what it really is?
This isn't a bailout, it's welfare for the rich companies.
They are calling it a loan, they say they will pay it all back when the economy gets better, but the economy can't get better if more people lose their homes and their jobs, people are saving their money, tucking it in between the mattress, holding onto it as tight as they can because this is a bad situation with no sign of getting better, the people are scared and rightly so.

This whole thing is just such a huge fucking mess.
I want to believe that our government is trying to do the right thing, trying to help the economy, but with all of these big companies in line wanting a cut of this money because of their mismanagement, I don't have much faith in the companies or the government.
If they screwed up their companies this badly when times were good, how can we trust them to fix it now when times are really bad?

I love movies, I love seeing them in the theater, but I can't stand sitting in the theater.
The seats, no matter how nice the theater is with their seats that recline back, the extra over stuffed cushions, and the cushioned arm rests, it doesn't matter, it is far too painful for me to sit in one of the seats for 2 hours.
So I wait and wait, I add them to my Netflix queue using the saved feature for whenever it gets released to DVD, and I continue to watch almost every new released DVD I can with Netflix.
I am home 24/7, so I watch movies and blog.
So here's my list of upcoming theater releases that I will be adding to my saved Netflix queue.

Star Trek  I like all the Star Trek movies and shows.
Friday the 13th  is a remake, but doesn't look too bad. Plus, it has the hottie Jared Padalecki in it. W00t!
Timecrimes  I can deal with subtitles if the story is good enough. This one looks interesting.
Seven Pounds  It looks interesting too.
The Lodger 
Transporter 3  I liked the first two.
The Alphabet Killer  Based on a true story. Looks decent.
Up  I LOVE Pixar movies! Yay!
Angels & Demons  I loved the book, and Tom Hanks is back portraying Robert Langdon again.
My Bloody Valentine in 3D I loved the original movie which came out in 1981. It was probably the very first slasher film I ever saw. I was 11 years old and my passion for horror movies began.
Let the Right One In  A foreign vampire movie where the vampire is a young girl. Coolness.
The Unborn Oooooh, this looks good!
Plague Town  Looks kinda scary. Yay!
My Name is Bruce  Haha! I LOVE Bruce Campbell. He's playing himself in a movie about himself.
The Uninvited   Another remake of Japanese horror movies. Looks pretty decent.
Twilight  I've never read the books, (OMG!) but I love vampire stuff, so yeah, I'd like to see it.
The Haunting In Connecticut  Ooooh, another scary based on a true story movie.
And finally, Sunshine Cleaning  A movie about cleaning up crime scenes like murders, suicides etc. This is the exact line of work my sister in law heather does and she loves it, plus it pays awesome.

I have a ton of  office supplies that I need to re-organize to make it easier for me to do all the various things I do and need to do.
Filing, writing, printing etc etc.
I need to get new inks for my printer or just a new printer totally, and I need a way to be able to write comfortably.
Because of the way my head is, I have a really hard time filling out forms that I need to write the answers in.
I don't have a good height on my desk or table.
I did get a wicked good deal last night on a HP Photosmart A524 Compact Photo Printer,
just like the one in this deal, minus the camera.
It's brand new, well used once, comes with everything, including about 80 sheets of photo printing paper.
Guess how much?
$25.
Yup, I got it from a guy on the local forums for just $25 plus like $10 for him to ship it to me because I have no way of picking it up in St. Pete, so he's packing it up and mailing it to me today.
Awesome.
Now I'll be able to print out the best pics of the teens and mail them to Great Gram.
Mom and Dad can save them to their computer, but Great Gram doesn't have a computer, so I sill have to snail mail her pictures and stuff.
So anyway, I need to make room on my desk and table for all of the stuff I have.
My tower, my scanner, and now the photo printer.

I keep getting these totally ignorant phone calls from some collection agency about my Verizon bill.
They claim that I owe Verizon, well them now because they bought the debt, the amount of $781.95, from December 2005.
They've been calling me about every other day about this for the last month, they refuse to send me a paper notice of this debt, refuse to give me any kind of information about it except that I owe this to Verizon since December 2005, they bought the debt, and now I need to pay them or "there will be consequences."

I went to the Verizon website and logged in, and then went to my payment history to look up my payments from then because I know that I had paid that amount off.
How do I know that?
Because my phone got disconnected for that exact amount and I paid it in 3 payments.
1 payment was made through my paypal account, 1 was paid by my sister by phone charge, and 1 payment was made in cash by me, at the Verizon store down on Ringling ave in downtown Sarasota.
My phone was back on the next day.

December 2005 was a rough time for me.
I was going through a ton of pre-surgery testing for my first spine fusion surgery, my SSDI hadn't been approved yet, I had very little money coming in, things were wicked tight but I needed my phone on so I could make the calls to my doctors and so they could call me.
All 3 payments were made on the exact same day, my phone was turned back on the very next day.
These ignorant and rude collections people keep telling me that there is no way that my phone number and account number can be the same with Verizon because of this debt amount, that Verizon shut off my service and never restored it, that "my morals are not allowing me to acknowledge my debts."

I read my account number with Verizon over the phone to them, it matched.
I asked what number it is that this debt is owed on, the supervisor replied 941-922-xxxx, I then asked them what number did you call to harass me about this debt, and he read it back, 941-922-xxxx.
So I asked, if Verizon shut off my service and never restored it because I owe this debt, how is it that my account number and phone number are still exactly the same as it was in December 2005 when this supposed debt occurred?
He said that "I must be lying about my account number."
He then told me they will not be sending me a paper copy of this debt, they will not stop calling me until I mail them a money order for the amount of $781.95, and mail it to the following address.
He started rattling off some address and I said sorry, I can't write that down or make a payment on a debt that I don't owe, that his company needs to send me a paper copy of this debt with all of the details of when this debt occurred, and when they bought it from Verizon.

He refused, said they won't mail it, they will keep calling.
I said I won't be mailing anyone any money until I get a paper copy, that he can keep calling, I'll keep asking for a paper copy and then hanging up.
I don't owe this amount, I have proof that I don't owe it right in my Verizon payment history.

 It's right there, 3 payments made on December 12th 2005 for the total amount of $781.95.

We have a situation here at the house with the septic tank and the toilet.
We have some mild flooding issues, and we've been really lucky it hasn't gotten worse than it is.
The landlord will be here tomorrow to take care of it, but in the meantime, we've had to plunge the toilet and wipe up tons of water.

The teens have been awesome, they've really been helping take care of it all, but I did some of it too, and now I'm totally paying for it.
Pain doesn't really do what I'm feeling any justice at all.
I am going to be so fucking sore tomorrow.
Holy shit.
And we're still not done.
The water keeps leaking and I can't get the valve to shut off.
Dammit.

I spent the majority of the day laying on the couch covered up in a big huge blanket.
Why?
Because it was chilly here once again, and wow, my whole body hurt bad, the rods were super icy cold, I had no flexibility at all, I was walking around the house all stiff like Frankensteins first steps after coming to life.
Just totally stiff and sore.

Then when the teens came home, they did their chores and wanted to play xbox and WoW, but something was wrong with our KVM switch, so I had to get up from my comfy and warm couch and fix it.
Luckily it's a really easy fix or else it wouldn't have been getting done today.

As you probably guessed by now, I didn't get to go see Obama speak today.
Reasons being #1, I was way too sore to go stand out there for a few hours, and #2, my sister couldn't get out of work.
The boy she takes care of was admitted to the hospital again, he's not doing well at all, another infection.
I feel so badly for him and his parents, his whole family.
Greg as been in and out of the hospital since the beginning of August.

I posted about eBillme's shopping confessions contest over on My Single Mom Life, so you might want to go check that out, and if you feel like stumbling it, that would be awesome.
Grassy Ass.

Oh, and one of these days, I'm going to be doing some cooking with all of those gadgets I have, and probably set the house on fire.
I saw the coolest new gadget on an infomercial today.
An indoor deep fryer big enough to do a 20lb turkey.
Thanksgiving deep fried turkey without the fear of a huge backyard fire, and I won't blow up the house!

Time to get some home insurance just in case I burn the house down eh?

One of the reasons I keep my house so dark, as I posted about earlier, was because it saves me money.
Having your curtains and blinds open during the hot months let's heat in, making your ac have to work harder to keep you cooler.
I'm also a huge nag, just ask the teens, about turning off lights and other appliances like fans, computer monitors, etc etc, when people leave rooms.
I do have lamps in every room, but I like to keep it dark and only turn them on when we need to see something, or if someone comes by and says it's too dark in here.

And because I'm all about saving money, I have slowly been buying the new energy saving CFL bulbs, and when I replaced one in the kitchen this morning*, I noticed it had a sweepstakes thingy on the package.
You can enter to win $25,000 to redecorate your home, no purchase needed, so go ahead an enter.
If I won, I'd definitely go and buy some really nice but discount furniture to redecorate my home with.
I'd hit the sales, the build it yourself furniture stores, clearance sections, wherever I had to go to make that $25,000 stretch as far as possible so that I could do every single room.
Get both boys and myself new beds, new dressers, some new living room furniture, a new pc desk and chair for me, all kinds of stuff, and I know with that kind of money, I really could do every room in our house, and have money left over to do other things with.
I pride myself on thrifty.

*When I replaced that bulb, I noticed that I had replaced the 2nd bulb in that light awhile ago, probably about 3 months ago, and anyway, it has an old fashioned screw on light cover which collects dust and little moths and other bugs that are attracted to light.
I clean this out every time we have to change the bulbs, but with the new CFL's, they can last up to 5 years.
Yes, 5 years.
Sad to say, I admit that the only time I clean this light shade is when we have to replace the bulbs.
Can you imagine how many bugs are going to be in it in 5 years?
Ha!

Next June Sebastian will be turning 16, and will be legally old enough to get his drivers license if he keeps his grades and attendance up at school.
He's been studying and taking the practice permit tests online, and once he gets a booklet, he'll be able to study everything, and then go get his permit.
And then if Mark decides he's finally ready to drive, I'll have two licensed drivers in the house, and will be in some super serious need of some super duper cheap auto insurance to go with the super duper cheap car that we might be able to afford.
Or them to afford.

I really wish that the seasons weren't so screwed up here in Florida.
Tourists come here from like right before Thanksgiving, and go home right after Easter.
What that means is, if your teen needs a seasonal job, they have to be able to do it during the school year, during winter, whereas up north, seasonal jobs are when school is out, during the summer.
I really am putting some serious thought into both of the teens going up north for this coming summer to visit with the family, and be able to work.
They could work at the amusement park like I talked about awhile ago, make tons of money, and then come home in time for school to start, buy a nice used car off of some little old widow who kept her car in perfect condition with tune-ups and oil changes right on schedule for the entire time the car was owned, for about $500 or less.
I'm not even joking about that.

The old people here, mostly the widows, sell their perfect Oldsmobile's in mint condition for really super cheap prices just to get rd of it.
Most of the time, they don't know and don't care about Kelly Blue Book value, they just have no need for the car anymore, and want it gone.
I went car shopping with my old friend once when her van "Scooby" was acting up, and we just drove around the retirement villages and neighborhoods where only old people lived, and there would literally be at least a dozen cars for sale at any given time, all in impeccable shape, tune-ups, oil changes, all of the paperwork and receipts in the glove box organized by year, new tires, non-stained, super clean upholstery, almost like brand new cars, selling for anywhere between $100 to $700.
The widows never sold the cars for more than that because they'd get penalized on their benefits or something for earning a large lump sum of money, but they didn't need the car anymore anyway.
They bought new ones.

My friend ended up getting a Mercury, can't remember the make and model, but it was a mint condition car with less than 10,000 mile on it, for $300 cash.
It was so nice, it had an awesome working AC in it, and we loved that because that was one of the reasons she needed to get rid of Scooby, his ac croaked, and you do not want to be driving around in a van with no ac in Sarasota in the middle of July.
Talk about sweat!
Aieysh!

I've had a few friends stop by here in the last few days, and the first thing everyone says when they walk in is "OMG, it's so dark in here!"
Well yeah, I like it that way for starters, and it's also economical.

My local electric company has sent out little fliers in with the monthly bills over the hot summer months, that actually tells people to keep blinds and curtains closed during the hot daylight hours, to keep the heat out and the cool ac air in.
I have room darkening blinds, dark wooden blinds on the large front windows which take in all of the morning's sun rays, and heavy blankets on the boys bedroom windows, because their rooms take in all of the afternoon sun rays.
My ac bills in the summer have always been 3 times lower than my plex neighbors, and most of my surrounding neighbors as well who just 'love to let all that glorious sunlight in'.
Gag.

If I could afford to, I would install some nice  home theater lighting, so that when people come over, I could hit a switch, and little lights along the floorboards would come on to show them the way in, maybe some soft dim lights in the ceiling so they can see.
These same people complain about their electric bills all summer long, but when I go to their houses, they have all of the blinds and curtains open, and you just stand near one of their windows and you can feel the heat coming, burning through the glass.
The ac has to work harder to try and keep those interior walls and windows cool, and if they are sending heat in, well then you pay for it.

I must have caught up on sleep over the last few days while I wasn't feeling well, because as you can see, it's now a little after 4am EST, and here I am wide awake again.
*sigh*
So I've spent most of the night forum posting, reading blogs, and just looking at stuff for the upcoming holidays.
Did you know that a good majority of internet retailers are already starting to advertise for the 2008 Black Friday start of the holiday shopping season?
They are.
Tons of sites are leaking out links for all of the black Friday sales.
The black holiday sales start on the Friday after Thanksgiving, so that's the 28th of November this year.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, I was thinking about this, and talking to my sister about it yesterday too.
Because I just had surgery, I can't bend over to pick stuff up, and I can't lift anything over 5lbs, so what the heck am I going to do for our Thanksgiving dinner?
I decided that I'm just going to go and get a Honeybaked ham for our dinner.
They don't just do hams, they make all the side dishes too, so I can go there and get a ham, mashed potatoes, a veggie side dish, stuffing if we want it, a broccoli rice casserole, or garlic mashed potatoes.
That actually sounds really yummy right now, I love garlic mashed taters!
They make a ton of different sides you can buy separately, or order in like combo packs.
I may end up doing the Honeybaked thing for Christmas too if I am still on restriction then as well.
I have another post-op appointment on December 10th, so if he says that I still can't lift more than 5lbs, I'll end up having to get my holiday meals already done up for me.

I usually do the whole prepared holiday dinner from Publix, the turkey, 2 sides, 1 stuffing dish, 1 cranberry, and 1 gravy bowl, and the whole thing has already been cooked, you just have to heat it up, even the turkey, but if I am on lift restrictions, then I won't be able to do that.
If I go with the Honeybaked, the ham doesn't have to be re-heated, it's actually super tasty cold, especially the glaze crusty stuff they put on it.
It is so damn yummy.
Yeah, I'm totally going to do the Honeybaked thing for Thanksgiving.
I am drooling just thinking about it now. 
The teens could help me re-heat all of the sides in the microwave or oven depending on what the directions for heating say.
The sides are, of course, much lighter than the meat, so I could help the teens get them in and out of the oven and not have to bend over to do it either.
See, the teens know how to cook in the oven, but they get nervous doing it alone because they think they'll get burned on the racks and the walls of the oven. 
But if I stay in the kitchen and just stand there with them, they aren't as nervous reaching in and taking stuff out.
I know, kinda silly, but I guess they just like the idea of me being there just in case they get burned.

They are totally getting better at cooking now though.
Because of my current situation, they have had to do all of the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and grocery shopping, and they have been cooking up some pretty tasty stuff.
I can't wait to get the George Foreman grill that I'm getting to do a product review on, and the boys will be able to cook on it so much easier.
They love to eat food cooked on a grill, but I have a wicked phobia about grill cooking.
The teens are afraid of getting burned by the oven, I'm afraid of getting burned by a grill.
meh.
I am always afraid that the flame will spring up suddenly while I'm like flipping a burger, and it will catch my hair on fire, or the propane tank will explode from the heat or something.
I know, it's a totally irrational fear, people have been cooking over fire since the cavemen first discovered it, people go camping and cook over fire, and practically every weekend, people all over the whole hood are bbq'ing, and no one ever gets burnt to a crispy, but I can't help it, I'm a total fraidy Kat.
haha

So yeah, I'll be getting the new safe and easy to use and clean George Foreman grill, and I'll be able to bbq and all kinds of other super yummy foods on it, and the teen food inhalers will have grilled animal flesh and grunt like their caveman ancestors did.
Yay!

I feel like crap still.
The last few days have just been miserable for me.
On top of my neck surgical issues, I have a cold that is making me just absolutely miserable.
I have just been laying on the couch curled up in my blanket, sipping on some juice, eating yogurts and jello, just trying to stay hydrated, and trying to keep some food in me to help me get over this.

I really can't wait to start feeling better so I can go and do the things I need to do.
I really would like to be able to go grocery shopping so I can get more food in the house that the teens can cook easily.
I also need to go get a pedicure in a bad way.
My toes are in dire need of rescue.
I also would like to go and get started on the DNA testing that I need to have done which will help the doctors be able to better help me.
If I can get an accurate diagnosis for either Townes-Brock syndrome or Riley Day syndrome, my doctors would be able to get me on the correct medications to help me feel better at least.
If they know for sure what is wrong with me, they will be able to help me.
I'm so tired of being sick.
I've spent years and years being in pain, getting sick constantly, having blood pressure issues, swallowing issues sometimes even with just liquids, the way my toes are formed, the issues with my back, my arthritis etc etc etc.

I just want to finally start feeling better, feeling normal.
Spending all of this time being sick or in pain or whatever, has just sucked.
At times I get severely depressed over it all.
Like this morning, I was just laying in my bed just bawling my eyes out over all of this.
I hate my life right now.
I hate all of this crap, I feel like a complete loser because I can't do anything anymore.
I can't cook much, I can't clean much, I can't do hardly anything, and I'm so freaking over it all.
I'm supposed to tell my doctors when and if I start getting depressed so they can help me.
I don't want to take an anti-depressant, I know that's what they would do.
They would put me on another med to alter my moods and I don't want that.
What i want is my life back.
Hell, I just want a life that sorta resembles what I had 8+ years ago.
I want to be happy, to go out with friends, to be able to play and have fun, live.
I just want to be ok.

I'm finally starting to get my bearings around here after a month out from the surgery.
I'm slowly starting to do some cleaning and cooking, not much, I get tired and sore rather quickly, but I am at least making dinner every other day, to every 2 days, which the teens are quite happy about.
They've been eating a lot of take out, frozen nuke 'em foods, subs from Publix, lunch meat and tuna sandwiches etc etc.
They were getting quite tired of it, so I made my first meal the other night.
I made some shrimp and french fries, and only needed help getting the cookie sheet in and out of the oven, because I'm still not allowed to bend over, pick up, too much.

I think on Saturday, Chris, Mindy's husband, is coming over to finish the AC unit stuff.
He's going to remove the old rotted drywall from the old AC unit dripping water so much, and I think her son Jeff is coming to help, and install new drywall.
That's good, because as helpful as Mark is, he's never done drywall before and wouldn't really be much help at all.
We can paint later on.
My sis was planning on bringing some paints at some point, and painting the living room for me. She had some colors left over from when she painted her new house.
So things are getting on, I'm doing better slowly, and hopefully it will just keep getting easier and less painful to do stuff around here.
I hate not being able to do stuff.
I'm such an independent person, so to not do stuff is driving me crazy.
I hate "resting".

Mindy and her family will be moving by the end of the month, and she's pretty much the one who has to do all of the packing.
She needs to get some moving boxes and start packing everything up.

I got a couple of deliveries this morning, really nice size, sturdy boxes, so I'm going to hang onto them for her when they come over this weekend, and see if she wants them before I break them down.

I got these boxes because I have been sent some super cool stuff to do product reviews on.
I cannot wait to do these and tell you all about them!
Opening the boxes and taking all of the stuff out, was like Christmas for me.
I love opening up boxes and have that surprise moment because I have no idea what's in the boxes, but trust me, this stuff is so so cool!

Mindy and Chris came back, Chris installed the new ac unit's frame, then he and Mark put the ac unit in and turned it on.
In less than an hour, the house is cold!
I thought for sure it would take a few hours to cool down, but nope, the new ac is blasting the cold and wonderfully chilly air!
Yay!

Now we're going to give it a week and see how it does.
We're going to see if it leaks, see if it can keep up with the temps, and then Chris will come back over next Saturday and take down the old rotted drywall from 2 ac units leaking, and put up the new drywall to make it look all nice.

I can't thank Mindy and Chris enough for doing this stuff.
My landlord is a sheriff, he works 6 days a week, so his one day off he spends with his family.
This house stuff is all stuff he can do, but he gets one day a week to spend with his kids so I try not to bother him about things.
And he appreciates that by allowing me to do these types of repairs myself, by taking the receipts as "rent" payments.
He deducts what I spend from my total rent.
It works for both of us.
He doesn't have to come do the work, gets to be with his family, and I don't have to fork over so much cash to him.
Yeah, I'm still spending the same amount, but the work gets done by me, or in this case, Chris, and everyone is happy.

Over the years I've done a lot of the home jobs that needed to be done here and just gave him the receipts.
I installed a new front door/screen door, I painted the walls, had the sink plumbing fixed, all kinds of home repairs, and he took it off the rent.
It has worked for us so well over the last 10 years that I've lived here now, so today's spending will be taken care of no problem, I know he'll be happy that he didn't have to come do this.
I think it would have driven him up the wall to have to have to do so much work only to have to tear it back out to put another new ac unit in.

Anyway, it's so nice and cool in here now, omg it's pure refrigerated bliss in here!
It hasn't been this cool in here in like 8 months, it's awesome!

Well, last weeks AC fixing didn't go quite as planned.
Mindy's husband Chris did all that work last weekend, installed an old ac unit they had that was working up until Thursday night.
That's when it stopped blowing cold air and started leaking water like a flood.

They came over today to see if they could get it working right, but it just didn't want to blow cold enough, and the leaking water all over my rug was an issue.
So Chris and my son Mark put our old ac unit back in the hole.
They turned it on and nothing happened.
Crap.
So we did what we had to do.

Mindy and Chris drove to Home Depot with my paypal card, and bought a new ac unit for my house.
$212.93.
I only had that money because of all of the donations that have been coming in because of the boobiethon, so I'm so so greatful that I had that money to buy the new ac thanks to everyone who has donated to me.
My landlord will take the receipt for it and knock that money off of the rent, just like he did with last weeks receipts for the drywall and other tools that they bought last weekend.
My landlord is cool like that, so he'll be knocking a total of $302.50 off of my rent for next month. (already paid October's rent)

Chris and Mark will take the old non-working ac unit out, and install the new one, and my house will be cool again.
I can hardly wait!
It is still pretty hot here in Sarasota Florida, and as I've bitched and moaned a few times now, the neck brace is like wearing a freaking turtleneck sweater.
It's hot.
Way hot.
So yay!
In just a few hours, I'll be cool again and it will be awesome.

I went and got my newest brace, and I'll talk about that in a minute.
But right now, I want to talk about the economic crisis that our country is dealing with.
Every Friday, Oprah's show is on live, and today she had a money expert whose name escapes me right now, Ally something, (bald guy, handsome, well dressed) and Suze Orman came on after his segment.
Both of these money experts told it like it is and to also not panic, to leave your money in the bank, it's going to be ok.
Suze Orman talked about ways to save money, what types of things to invest in like treasury bonds, and she named a very specific type of futures trading and the safest places to invest your money in so that when this crisis is over, you will be ok.

The whole reason all of us are in this situation, is because people who couldn't afford to buy a home, were told they could by banks who loaned them that money.
They spent more than they had, they tried to live beyond their means, they wanted the American dream, and sorry, not everyone can afford to live that dream.
I know I can't and probably never will.

I know that I'm feeling the crunch of this crisis when it comes to buying groceries.
The price of everything has been steadily on the rise for months now, and so buying food for 2 growing young men has been a huge challenge for me.
I don't want the teens to eat peanut butter and jelly and Ramen noodles until it's coming out of their ears, but I can't afford to feed them all the super expensive cuts of beef either.
Right now with me being unable to do any cooking, they are eating easy foods, microwave crap, lots of sliced deli meat sandwiches, stuff like that.
I have a feeling that things are going to get even harder for me and all of you as well.
It's going to get much much worse before it will start getting better.
This is a very difficult period of time we're all living in, and I'm trying so hard not to panic like both Ally and Suze said, but I can't help myself.
I already live at the bottom of the financial totem pole, I live well below the poverty level receiving SSDI and making a small amount through blogging every month.
I follow the income earnings guidelines set forth by SSDI but man, how I wish I wasn't disabled, how I wish I could work a real job again.
This whole crisis has me scared that things are going to get worse for me and all of us, this whole thing really sucks.

Anyway, Mindy took me down to the local Hanger office to get my new brace.
They ended up fitting me with a pediatric size 5 chin brace.
It fits the back part of my old brace, but the new front part is a pediatric size chin brace.
That should tell you how small my neck is. Ha!

It does fit better, it holds my head up nice and straight, but because of it's tiny size, my cheeks get squished up pretty bad.
I look like I'm making a kissy-fish-face all the time now.
I really hope my face doesn't "keep" that shape when the 3 months is over, that would really suck.
But it does it's job, what it's supposed to, so I'll deal with it.

The ac unit is mostly done.
Mindy, her husband Chris, and her son Jeff, were here all day long fixing the ac unit.
Chris removed the old unit and holding stuff, then cut all new wood, installed that, and then put in the new ac unit.
The old hole in the wall was far too big for the ac, so all the wood was used to make it fit, to hold it in place better with no gaps.
He used some of that expanding caulk to help keep it all insulated and stuff, and then next weekend, he's going to come over and repair the drywall where the ac unit is.
It has to be taken out, it's rotted from all the times the ac leaked water and it ran down the walls.
I paid for all the supplies and he's doing the installation.
My landlord will let me take the work off the rent, it totally saves him from having to do it, he'll be happy that it got done.

Mark helped out too, he knocked down a ton of hornets nests and also helped put the ac unit in while Chris was outside pulling it through to sit the way it's supposed to.
Sebastian couldn't help much with that, he's allergic to hornet's stings, and Mark did get stung 3 times, so yeah, it's a good thing Sebastian didn't try to help.
But he did go to the store and get some stuff we needed.
It's going to take a few hours for the house to cool down, there was no ac on all day and a huge gaping hole in the wall all day long so it will probably get cool in here by midnight. LOL

I'm so tired now so it's also a good thing my sis had something come up for tonight, I am in no mood to have more to do tonight.
She's going to come tomorrow and help me with my hair, maybe do some lunch or dinner depending on what time she comes over.

I have a couple of movies that I can watch tonight from the lazy comfort of my couch.
I have Street Kings and Pathology, it's a reason to be lazy and not do anymore than I already have today.
Oh yeah, Chris also hooked up the HDTV antenna for me.
It's pulling a few channels, but my local ones still are not coming in like they should.
I'm hopeful that come February when the switch gets made, that all of those stations come in like they should.

Ok, off to find something to eat and watch a movie.
Later days.

I gave myself a scare last night.
See, I have bolt wounds on the side of my head from where I was bolted to the table during surgery, (I promise I will explain how it all went soon) and the nurse had cleaned them really good yesterday and put some Staphaseptic on them.
Well last night I reached up to the left side of my head to rub my temples, they sorta ache a bit, and this chunky thing came off in my fingers.
It was sort of like a scab but yellow-ish in color, and had some small hairs attached to it.
I didn't scratch it, I just rubbed my temples, and to have this thing fall off, it was really gross.
Then it started bleeding and it wouldn't stop, so I had Sebastian do his best to put a band-aid on it.
The nurse came today and took the band-aid off, cleaned it, and said it looked good, but man, it was super scary having it bleed like that.

I had ordered the new HDTV antenna that I need to be able to watch tv with the converter box, and it came today.
It's much much bigger than I thought it was, it really needs to be mounted outside, but I tried to hook it up today anyway.
Bad idea.
It's too heavy, I couldn't get it to work, it probably does need to be mounted outside on the wood shutters, and so yeah, by the time I gave up on it and put it back in the box, I had really over done it and now I'm paying for it.
 But there is a good thing about doing that, something pulled in my neck and now my head is staying up much better, straighter I think. hahahaha
Maybe I pulled the muscles where they need to go?
Don't know.
The pain is subsiding a bit now and I need to eat something.

Oh, speaking of eating, I sent the boys grocery shopping with a list and everything today.
They came back with a ton of wrong items, items not on the list, and a whole bunch of items that were on the list, didn't get bought at all.
They tried I suppose, this is a lot of pressure on them, I know that, so I really can't complain too too much that they screw things up a little bit.

I'm still chugging along trying to get through this first week at home, I have to keep telling myself to just relax, that the first week is always so so  hard, that it really is the worst, so I don't try and over do things.
A lot of just laying down and sleeping.

Mindy was here almost all day long, she did a really great job cleaning my house, it looks wicked nice and clean in here, the teens better keep it this way. LOL
Then she went home and came back with some big huge pans of food.
Her husband Chris made dinner for us, some chicken alfredo, bread sticks, and salad.
It was all so yummy.
He used to work at the Olive Garden, it's their alfredo recipe, so yeah, it's super yummy.
When Chris was here this morning, he took a look at my AC unit, and he's going to come back and fix it for me next weekend.
Box it in to the right size for the AC, clean it up, get it working right again.
It's simply not blowing as cold as it used to, it's not sitting in the housing correctly, and the leaking is because of all of those things plus all box units leak when it gets super humid.
So it will be wicked nice to have it fixed and cool in the house again.

I have a ton of emails and comments in my inbox that I just don't know when I'll be able to get to, if I'll be able to get to them at all, but I wanted you to all know that I have read them and appreciate all of the support and words of encouragement, it's really appreciated.

I did spend the majority of the day laying down and resting, I even slept for awhile, and that is my plan of attack.
My face is still wicked swollen up which makes me feel weird and stuff.
I know the swelling will go down, it's just a matter of time.
For now though, I feel like I either got beat with a baseball bat, or I am a balloon.
People keep telling me it doesn't look so bad, but I've seen my face in the mirror, I know what it looks like.
Doc said it will be ok, it will heal up, but for awhile it's gonna look like total crap.

Ok, time to get back to my couch, watch a little Law and Order repeats and stuff.
Later days. 

So I'm like a week late paying all my bills, so I got myself up and started paying them.
I had called each of my utilities before going in for surgery and notifying them they would be paid late, they were all ok with it.
I paid FPL and the water bills without any problems, as usual.
And as usual, Verizon was just crap.

I logged in to my Verizon home screen where it said current now due $61.45, but total now due of $31.42.
I know that the $31.42 is the correct amount, my bill is never over that, the bill summary even says that's what I really owe, so I type in $31.42 and click pay now.
It advanced to the next screen where it said the amount you are paying is different from what you really owe, the page refreshed, and the amount filled in for me to pay was at $61.45.
I tried 3 more times to change it to $31.42, it kept changing it back, so I said fuck it and paid $61.45.
Then I called Verizon who said it was some sort of website glitch, I now I have a credit on my account of $30.03, we're so sorry.
They said they would have their IT department look at it, but I have a credit, your account is in great standing with us, yadda yadda, whatever.
Their website forced me to pay that $61.45, it wouldn't let me change it.
I don't care if my account is in great standing and I have a credit, I am sick of their fucking shit every single month when I try to pay the phone bill and the DSL bill screw-ups that have been non-stop for years now.
I'm so over it yanno?
Every month they are sorry, every month they promise me they will fix it, and every month it still isn't fixed.
Verizon sucks major ass and I really need to find another phone and internet option that isn't them and isn't Comcast cable.

While on the phone with them, they tried to sales-pitch me on their Direct tv package shit.
Dudes, I'm calling your company every month because of bill fuck-ups with my phone and DSL, and you want to add another item to screw up on every month?
I don't fucking think so.

Hey all, I am finally back home, it was a long, completely fucked up hospital experience.
I will get to blogging about it all but not just yet.
Sitting here to read emails, to type, is not an easy task just yet, my head is being held by a neck brace in an awkward position, so thank goodness for spell check..LoLz

This whole thing was very physically hard on me, terrifying for my sons, and frustrating to be told I could go home tomorrow over and over, yet it never happened every single day, until today that is.
I finally had a massive blow out, started screaming, yelling, cursing and being a bitch about the care I was receiving and sit, and well, they don't really like it when atheists start swearing  in a catholic hospital. hahahaha

Anyway, I'll explain the whole trip, all the things that went wrong and everything else over a few days at a time.
I really can't handle sitting for long periods just yet.
But it's so so so good to be home, thank you all for the well wishes and good thoughts, they are all so very much appreciated.
Be back again tomorrow morning maybe.
Later days!

We are being barraged here (the whole country probably is) with constant reminders about the change to all digital broadcasting in February 2009, and seeing as today was a holiday, ABC ran a half hour infomercial about the switch and the converter boxes.
They said that if you bought a newer model tv, it should already be ready for the HDTV and LCD broadcast signals, and to just get an LCD mount for it on your wall, and you should be good to go.
That it should be ready and all good to go to pick up all the new digital signals.

Well I don't have money for the new tvs, and I already have the converter box and an amplified antenna, but it's not picking up the signals due to our house being made of concrete.
I need to either get a roof mount antenna, or one that can be mounted on the wooden shutters, but I think I might try a different idea.

I am going to buy a Philips Amplified UHF/VHF/HDTV Antenna, and mount it on the inside of my front windows.
It's flat, and it will only need to pick up the signal through the glass, not the concrete.
That may work.
If not, I'll mount it on the outside, attach it to the shutters, and run the cable through the front windows and screen, and hook it to the converter box.
I'm hoping that will work because all of the other indoor/outdoor antennas I've seen, are freaking huge, and I don't want a huge antenna on the front of my house.
I don't want anyone to see it and possibly see it, plus with it's flat profile, it will be less likely to get knocked off during a storm or hurricane.
It's not priced too badly, but I need to wait on it for now.
September is not the month to be buying non-necessities for the house, I still have until February 2009, so once the surgery is over and I'm doing well in my recovery, I'll pick one up and do the installation.
I don't want anyone to have to come do it for me, I like doing this kind of stuff myself.

Don't forget to say "Rabbit rabbit White rabbit" upon waking up this morning, and on the morning of the first day of the month every month.
It's an old superstition, and I really don't believe in superstitions, but I do it for fun.
Seeing as how I don't know exactly what time I'll be waking up tomorrow, er, today, I figured I'd just post it now.

Who knows, maybe it really is good luck, and I could sure use some good luck this month.
I'm having surgery exactly 1 week from today, I could use to make some big time money this week before I go which means I need to get back to work pronto, no more lazy bones-feeling like not doing anything, and hey, maybe I'll win some money or maybe a Caribbean cruises vacation or something for the teens and I to go on after I'm recovered.

A vacation is sorely needed I tell ya.
I'm tired, stressed out, worried about money and bills, and the teens at school.
I really don't want this surgery to affect them like the last time, I don't want them to miss any days for any reason.
I do want them to come see me, but not until after school each day, come at night only.
That way my sister doesn't miss any time at work either, she really can't afford to take time off, so if she goes to work, and they go to school, then come visit me after, everyone will be doing what they need to do, and I'll be getting rest and doing my physical therapy/up walking the halls and all that stuff so I can come home on schedule.

It's late and once again I'm wide awake, so I think I'm going to go dive into my work, get as much done as I can.

The lab only took 2 vials of blood, which I was surprised about, the primary doc's PA, said they were going to take 8.
The guy only took 2, so I questioned him about that, he said they did not need 8, only 2 for the amount of tests she checked off on the lab work-up sheet, and oh by the way, pee in this cup.
So the blood draw was quick, not feeling faint or weak at all, then I went and peed in the cup, and they had those alcohol wipes in the bathroom for patients to use to clean and sterilize their pee-holes before peeing in the cup, and they had the ones that smell good.
No, no, I'm not weird, honestly, there are certain alcohol wipes that smell not much like alcohol, but more like a lemony candy sugar mixed with alcohol smell.
I love those ones!

Then I came home and ate my chocolate donut that was ever so patiently waiting for me in the fridge.
Actually, I ate 2, my bad, but I was hungry dammit!
Then I went out to the kitchen and cleaned out the microwave.
I ran that bowl of soapy water in the microwave for an hour the first time, then changed out the water and added a dash more dish soap, and ran it again for another 30 minutes, so when I came home and got to cleaning it, all the nukified on crud was liquefied, and just wiped right out.
Now, if cleaning the whole house were as easy as that.
I actually want to get (at some point) one of those little hand-held home steam cleaners, you know what I'm talking about?
I want one of these Scunci ones.
It's a small, portable, home steam cleaner for doing grout and tiles, the toilet bowl ickies, the baked on crud on the stove top, it would make cleaning the microwave even easier man.
Want, maybe that will be my xmas present to myself. (?)

Oh yeah, I finally got Twitpic all figured out, that is my actual link, but I finally figured out how to get the image info to post with the pic.
All of my failed attempts are viewable in the Twitpic badge in the sidebar over there.
On most of them, it's just the pic, but the last one that says "Sunset", yuppers, I got it to post the name of the pic.
I was putting that info in the body section of the text message, it needed to be added to the title.
I'm basically blogging how I did it so that I don't forget it.
Take the pic, label it, then address the text message to go to my Twitpic email addy, then click on the more button (left) and choose insert subject, as much info as I want to write, and then click send.
Twitpic completely ignores everything in the body section of the text message, so that's why the names of my pics weren't showing up on my page or in my sidebar badge, or on the public Twitpic/Twitter time lines.
Just the links to the images were showing with no info.
I was totally frustrated with it, and about to give up on yet another pic to post service.

See, for my last surgery, I used Flickr to post pics and blog by phone to post on my blog, but Flickr stopped working for me, just stopped, will not work from my phone at all, but it will post the test thingy from the website only.
Christine then suggested I try Utterz, so I tried to set it up for this blog, but it refused to accept my xmlrc stuff, so I tried to set it up for MSML, and it was going, it was accepting, but then it came back and said that my blog was pornography.
No, I'm dead serious!
See?!? Click that for bigger!

There is absolutely no porn on My Single Mom Life, but ya know what?
I don't feel like contacting Utterz and asking what the hell reason they have for stating my blog about being a single mom, talking about teenagers and new hair in armpits, qualifies it as pornography.
I just don't have the fight in me today.

I still haven't slept, no lay down and rest either.
This afternoon has been a busy one of sitting here trying to write this post since 12:20 this afternoon, but it's been one thing after another.
Emails non-stop, messages, questions, comments coming in, Entrecard people wanting to advertise their so completely not relevant sites on my single mommy blog.
My plan was to figure out Twitpic, which I did, make this blog post which I'm still trying to do, and then go wash the dishes that didn't get finished this morning, and then maybe lay down for an hour or so before making dinner.
But now I've had to start another load of laundry, I have a mountain of emails to reply to, messages, posts, comments etc, before I can do anything else.
I'm not mad or anything, I realize I may be coming off as mad, but it's not anger, it's tired...LOL
So anyway, this post that I started writing at 12:20pm, will now finally be published at 2:27pm.
You would think with the amount of time it took, it would be far better quality content in this here post, but eh, I've been awake since 7am yesterday morning.
Ya gets what ya gets.

I haven't had anything to eat since midnight last night, I had to fast for my blood draw at 9:30am, (did I post this already?) and I'm starving!
I ran to the corner store just about 30 minutes ago, grabbed some donuts, (Yum! A chocolate frosted cake donut awaits my return in the fridge) some soda, some other goodies, came back home, and in like 20 minutes, I'll go hop in the shower and get cleaned up for them to suck my blood out.

I could not sleep for anything, and as a matter of fact, the later it got, the more hyped up I got.
So because I couldn't eat, I did other things to pass the time.
I did a lot of net surfing, forum reading and posting, RSS blog reading, and then I got like this wave of enthusiasm to clean my house.
At like 4am.

I did some dishes, I sprinkled the carpet powder down in all the rooms, (I love the smell of it)  I cleaned off the stove top and all of the counters.
I wiped down and cleaned out the toaster, wiped down my crock pot because it sits on the counter and tends to get splashed when I cook sketti sauce in my electric skillet.
I wiped down the entire outside of the microwave, not just the parts you can see, I actually moved it, cleaned under it, behind it, washed the back splash on the whole counter where I prep and cook.
Changed out the like 10 month-old burnt out light bulb on the stove head, put a large bowl of soapy water in the microwave to loosen all the nuked on crud, and I will wipe it all out and clean it really good when I get back, folded the last load of laundry that was in the dryer after I set it on de-wrinkle for 20 minutes.
Changed out the hand towels in the bathroom, turned on the Scrubbing Bubbles automatic shower cleaner after running the shower for steam for 5 minutes, cleaned the toilet bowl and the seat, both upper and under, and the lid, brought back in all of the trash cans after the garbage men came, and made a quick list of things I need at the store later like more spray cleaners, and some floor cleaner which I'm out of.

I have no idea where this burst of energy came from, but I did all of that stuff and am still wired to go.
I'm sure I won't be so hyped up after they take about 8 vials of blood outta me.
I mean, no food since midnight combined with exerting all of that energy, I'll probably come home and pass out for 2-3 hours, and then when I wake up, I will be totally drained and the motivation will be gone.
Dammit.
I was on a serious house cleaning roll man, I haven't wanted to truly deep clean the house in months, I got that burst, and it will literally be sucked out of me by the time I get back.
I want to keep going!
I'm hoping I'll still be good to go, I want to really get down and clean the whole house super de-duper good.

And I've decided what I want for my Christmas, er, Halloween present this year!
I want  The Nightmare Before Christmas (2-Disc Collector's Edition) + Digital Copy
I absolutely love that movie, I have it on VHS, but I want it on DVD, and I want the collector's edition version.
I know every single song by heart, I sing along to it, I love watching it, it's a gorgeous looking movie in all it's dark Halloweenie goodness.
It will be mine, oh yes, it will.

I woke up feeling like I got hit by a truck.
I slept weird too.
Like all twisted up and stuff, so now my lower back and right hip are just killing me, and I can't get in to see my pain doc until Monday, before 11:45am.
Because at noon he's going back out of town.
But at 10am, I have an appointment with the new primary care doc for the pre-surgery physical, which I have no idea how long it's going to take.
So this means I'm going to have to call my surgeon to cover the refill on my pain meds again.
For the 3rd time, because my pain doc keeps going out of town.
My surgeon is going to start thinking something funny is going on.
Yeah, not quite so fucking funny when every time I need to make an appointment, he's going out of town.
And so I'm stressed out and in pain, and I can't see my pain doc because I have to go to that physical, I don't have a choice.
I have no idea how long the physical is going to take because duh, it's my new doctor.
The appointment could end up being 2 hours long, or like most doctor's, you sit and wait for a full hour or 2 before you even see the doctor.
And it's a full physical which means full naked, gyno, swabby, poke, prod, touch and pee in this cup appointment.

Seriously.
I'm way stressed out about all of this stuff right now.
In 18 days, I get my neck sliced open, have a couple vertebrae and discs removed, new rods installed, and I never turn my head left or right again.
18 days.
It may seem like that's a long time, but it's not, and it's creeping up on me faster than I know how to handle.

And I swear, if one more person says they'll pray for me, or let go and let god, trust in god, god will take care of you, I'm going to fucking explode!
This bill collector called me at 8am this morning, wanted to talk about an old hospital bill I owe, and when I said sorry, I can't pay that right now, they asked why, I explained why, I let it all out on the girl, and she says to me, and I quote, "I can stave off the collection phone calls for about a week, and I'll pray for you. Wow, I don't even know how you're feeling, but I imagine. I promise, I'll pray for you."

You'll pray for me?!
These calls are recorded for customer quality results, and man, I hope they recorded that one.
You are never to get personal with the customer, never ever, get personal with the customer when you are calling them to collect a debt. I know the rules, I used to work for Georgia Power and Gas, that was one of the major big time rules, never, ever, get personal with the customer, stick to the facts.
Fucking twit.
I hope they recorded that call and heard me tell her to shove her prayers up her ass.

Because of the storm and my neighbors moving out, the trash will have to go out on Tuesday night instead of tonight, and I'll have to go find my box cutter so I can go cut up all the cardboard boxes they didn't use to move with because the city won't take them at the size they are right now.
They left a ton of crap behind, you can see it in the first link I posted, and we'll be taking care of it so the landlord doesn't have to come take care of it all.

I just can't believe they won't be coming back to take care of it on their own.
It's really not fair to have dumped it all on my trash cans and just leave all that crap behind.
But they are gone now, and I guess that's a good thing.

What was a category 1 hurricane, has been downgraded into a tropical storm again.
It'll be about 45-50mph winds, some rain, nothing major.
But all the Sarasota schools are closed, there's no garbage pick-up tomorrow, and all county government offices will be closed as well.

The kids first day back to school was today, and now they get a day off already.
I understand the whole better safe than sorry thing, but they canceled school at 2pm today, made the automated phone calls to parents, and they could have, should have, waited until later tonight to make the call on closing school.

Things are fine here, we have plenty of food and water should the power go out, I did all y hurricane shopping on Saturday, and we have plenty of candles, a big flashlight, a 24 our glo-stick for emergencies, plenty of stuff, but I doubt it will get that bad.

So I took my awesome comfy sandals to the little Korean lady to fix, and just as I suspected, she refused to fix them.
"No fix, need new shoe! No fix!"
So while I was at Walgreen's getting Susan her birthday first aid kit, (she's going to love this thing!) and we needed a new one for our house too, I found their flip flop aisle and tried on a few pairs.
I found a cheap and comfy pair that will have to do until I can find another pair of those awesome Dr. Scholl's that my freaking cats chewed up.
Then Sebastian and I headed into Publix to get all of the stuff we needed, and then headed back home by cab because we bought more than we could carry.

We waited for the cab for over 40 minutes.
Sam had told me 10-15 minutes on my initial call, so after 25 minutes, I called back.
He said the driver would be there in 2 minutes.
I waited 10 and called back.
By this point Sam was furious that the driver he sent for me kept picking up flags instead of getting the calls, he was yelling into the radio, screaming at the guy in English and Arabic, and when the cab finally showed up, I was sweating bullets.
My blood pressure was up from the heat, I was minutes away from passing out.
When we got to my house, I went to pay him, and he said, "No, this trip is on me, it's my fault you waited for 40 minutes. Sam won't let me take your money, he said that it's on me."

Hahahaha!
Dumbass.
If he had just gone after the call like he was supposed to instead of picking up flags, Sam would have let him take my money.

The teens and I need to head out today and do some shopping at Publix, get some stuff for the house that we need, and I also need to drop my sandals off at the little shoe repair store that's at the same plaza.

I know the lady is going to look at me like I'm crazy, the sandals are pretty beat up aside from the straps having been taken off by the cats.
They chewed through the strings that are sewn on, and the straps fell off.
But these sandals are massively comfortable, I love them, they are perfectly broken in, and considering that next month it will be even harder to put on normal shoes like sneakers, I need really comfortable sandals.
I just want the straps sewn back on nice and tight, and the little Korean lady is going to tell me that I need "new shoe. need new shoe, not fix, new shoe."
But sorry dear, I cannot find these anymore anywhere, I've looked at the store I bought them at, I've looked at other stores, no getting new shoe, fix old shoe, take money from me.
Hahah!

I wish I had woken up earlier to get started on all of this, but oh well, I didn't.
I'm going to take a quick shower as soon as Mark is done, and then we'll get ready to go.

Last night after getting home from Chuck E. Cheese for my niece Susan, my insomnia from the night before started to catch up to me.
I found myself sitting here in my chair dozing off several times.
I had been sitting here at like 6:15pm, and when I woke up, it was 8:30pm.
I was supposed to go in to the boy's room and fix the video card settings to show more detail on their games, and get some papers ready for today's medical phone calls.
But I was so tired, I laid down on the couch at like 10-10:30, and that was it, out and down for the count.

The teens slept over my sister's house, so at like 8:20 this morning, I hear this knocking on the door.
It was them, my alarm I had set for 8am never went off, so ooopsy.
They said they had just knocked that one time, so at least they hadn't been out there banging on the door for an hour.
Then as soon as I let them in, fixed the door caterpillar, I then laid back down on the couch and fell asleep again.
I hadn't slept for like 38 hours, so I was way tired, and just needed all that sleep to catch up.
Then when I woke up at 11am, I ran to the corner store for some soda, and then came back to get myself ready for the medical phone calls at 1pm.
I spent about 2 hours on the phone answering questions with the surgical intake nurse, she wasn't able to give me any information on how long I'd be in the hospital, but Doc Moreno or Cindy would be able to answer all of those questions for me later.

Then I tried to catch up some emails and gave up.
I'm not answering any questions for anybody about things that happened a long time ago.
It's over for me, so move on folks, the show's over.
A year ago when I laid out what I was doing, was the time for people to ask questions and get answers, and yanno, maybe even help me, but no one did, so I took care of it, it's done.
I am ok with being called a disgusting human being for not helping others now, it's fine with me, no one helped me when I needed it or asked for it. Call me selfish, call me mean or a moron, and yes, I do know who I emailed recently about something to do with work, so um, yeah, nice try hiding behind the name "anonymous".
Hello! I wasn't born yesterday people.
It's done, over, don't bother emailing me about it now.

I made the call to the lawyer to schedule a time to get the DNR and WILL verified, asked a quick question about something else, he said we can talk about that at the appointment, told me to bring the papers and stuff with me, so I will have all my medical stuff and my other stuff taken care of by next week, or answers at least.

Right now I'm making dinner, some yummy BBQ'd boneless/skinless chicken breast, and some broccoli with cheese, and then I have the dishes to finish up, and a load of laundry to start.
I don't think I have much on the agenda for tomorrow, haven't looked yet, and Google calendar hasn't emailed the daily summary for tomorrow yet, I should get that around midnight.

I know that I do have some work to catch up on.
Due to passing out cold last night, I didn't get all of my work finished, but I did get most of it done.
I only have about 5 or so left, so yeah, I got almost all of them done before going out yesterday.
It's ok with me, I am not late on anything, it's all actually not due until next week, so I'll get it all done by tomorrow, and then take on whatever else they need done.
Ok, time to go check the dinner, later days!

...You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the inner mind to... The Outer Banks, er, Outer Limits....

It's almost 9am on Sunday morning, I've been awake all night again.
Insomnia really sucks.
It's like a form of anxiety insomnia.
Like if I know that I have to be somewhere, do something really important, i won't sleep at all no matter how hard I try.

I know I'll be fine though, I tend to get second and third gusts of wind right when I need them.
Then when we get back home, I'm hoping that I'll be able to sleep for at least a few hours (probably not) because I have some important medical stuff to deal with on Monday morning.
I have some pre-surgery phone calls to answer questions, like have I gained or lost any significant amount of weight in the last 6 months, when was the last time I had a blood test, donated blood, have I discovered any new allergies to medications, food, or latex/plastic/tape products.
I've answered all these questions before, no big deal.

Then I need to call and set up an appointment to have both my will and DNR verified again, notarized, signed, stamped, sound mind and body, yadda yadda, and I have some questions I need to discuss too.
I have a lot going on, not only is the surgery like a big medical jumbo brain frazzle, it's legal too.
Sign this, cross these Ts, dot those Is, on every page with an 'X', please initial on the line provided, sign and date the bottom of each page.
I know the routine, so while I'm initialing and crossing, and dotting, I'll be able to ask my other questions and discuss my other concerns.
I just don't want a big battle on anyone's hands should anything at all go wrong.

Time is fluid. The waters of forever close -- and passage may not be completed. The present and the future are for a moment united. And the Enemy, half-today, half-tomorrow, is locked between...

That phone call I got the other day at 8:05am, where I yelled at the guy and then hung up, was from one of those debt collection agencies.
I owe like $250 on a really old phone bill.
Oh well.
I've been trying to pay off my debts as best I can, but with all the medical stuff, it's been very difficult, and it's only going to get harder from here on out.

I had been paying on that old bill, I had been sending them $20 a month, and I know that's not a lot, but it's all I could afford to send them.
They agreed to the terms, and I've still been paying it, but they called again today because the want to change the terms of the agreement.
I told them that I cannot pay it all off or send them more every month, it's just not possible, and the guy said that I'll have to make it possible.
I said nope, I have the agreement in writing, I'm not paying more than that, if you are refusing to take the payments we agreed upon, then that's your choice, but I'm sticking with it, and I'll keep sending the $20 per month.
You can try to fight me for more, but we have it writing, so  that's all there is to say, have a nice day, and then I hung up.

On Sunday, my sis is taking the teens and her girls, and a few friends to one of those franchise kids play places for Susan's birthday party.
She asked me if I want to go.
I honestly don't know.
I would hate to miss her party, Susan is my little bud, but I'm not feeling well, I have a ton of stress and a ton of work to do.

I have a million things to do at home here, plus I have a bunch of actual work to do, and I really need that money.
In order to get all that money on payday, I need to have them all done by Monday morning.
I'm sure I can do it if I just start working and don't stop.
I really need that money, and I really want to be there for Susan.
I'm sure I'll go.
I'll make myself a deal, if I can get more than half my work done, I'll go, and then I'll have to do all the rest of them done by Monday morning.
I can do it if I don't get sick again.

I'm still not feeling great, I think it's the stress of everything, it's upsetting my stomach, making me not sleep, but making me excessively tired.
I have mega amounts of stress right now.
So much to do, things to take care of, plans to make, money to not make.
Ugh!
It's piling up on me, my mind can't stay focused, and I haven't been able to even keep myself feeling ok or not worried about stuff long enough to get my work done.
It will get it done, but I really need to get my head on straight first.
I honestly think I need to just sit down and have myself a long decent cry, to let all of this stress go as much as I can.

I need to go get in the shower, I have an appointment with Dr. Riegel today at 2pm, thank him, all that jazz, and tell him I can't pay him today.
I am totally broke until Wednesday.
Nothing I can do about it right now, I'll have to tell them I'll pay them on Wednesday, they can take the payment by phone or something.

Sorry to be such a downer, but I just have so so much on my mind, back to school, medical shit, all of it is picking away at my brain, and I'm tired and stressed out because of all of it.

I got the news today that I didn't want to hear, but I'm greatful for it.
How can I possibly be greatful to be having another major surgery?!
Because if I don't have it, I will die.

My vertebrae are closing in on the spinal cord in my neck, they are compressing it, and if I don't have have this surgery, not only is paralysis possible, but sudden death is a definite.
I will just stop breathing one day he said.
My jaw nearly hit the floor, but he said he can fix this, he can fix me, and he guarantees me that I will be fine.
The chances of anything at all going wrong, paralysis or death, are less than 1%.
He has done this surgery many, many times he said, and he's never lost a patient, and he's never had a patient become paralyzed.
As a matter of fact, he's never had either happen to any single patient in all the years he's been a surgeon, so I have complete trust in him that I will be ok.

The only thing I will lose is my ability to turn my head in either direction.
I can live with that.
I mean, if given the choice between turning your head or sudden death?
I think anyone would take never being able to turn their head again.

The teens are of course, scared, but I have complete trust in my surgeon and I know that everything will be ok.
Mindy and her husband have opened their home to the teens when I have it done, they will have a place to stay, people who will care for them like they are their own, and I will make all the necessary arrangements before I go.

Doc Moreno's nurse Cindy, will be calling me with all the info, what to expect, the date, all of that, it has to be done very soon.
This is a very serious situation, and it has nothing to do with my spine fusion.
This is all congenital.
These are all abnormalities that I was born with, no one ever knew they were there though.
Doc Riegel is actually the one who caught this, he is the one who spotted that something didn't look right in my neck MRIs, he's the one who insisted I see Doc Moreno right away, so when I see him on Friday, I owe him a huge thank you.
He actually saved my life.
If he had not seen this problem, I would have just stopped breathing one of these days, so I kind of owe him my life.

I'm ok, I've just accepted that this has to be done, there is no other choice but a full laminectomy of the vertebrae from C1-C6, I will be permanently fused after this, from the base of my skull to my tail bone.
Kind of amazing, I will be fused the full lentgh of my spine.

After Cindy calls, I'll know more. I'll know when this will be happening, I'll know how long I'll be gone, all of that, and I will keep everyone updated.
I know that I am in the best surgical hands possible, I know that everything will be ok, and when I know more, I'll share it with all of you.

Later days.