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I know that I've posted quite a few times about taking a vacation, and one of the places that I am always talking about going for a vacation, is wanting to be able to afford to go and rent one of those really gorgeous Outer Banks vacation rentals in North Carolina.
Carolina Designs has one of the most awesome, most amazing looking rental homes for just such a vacation.
I mean, just look at the outside of the house, this big, beautiful house right on the Outer Banks.


The house is called SEAHAWK, and it's just yards away from the beach.












It has five bedrooms, and two of them are master bedrooms.
It also has a private pool and a hot tub.
There are 10 tv sets in the house and three VCR's, two DVD players, and a video library so there's always something to watch.
It has a stereo and a game room with a sports bar and a pool table.
It also has an Xbox for you and your kid's video gaming needs, a wet bar and a gas grill, and tons of parking spaces for you and all of your guests.
(If you choose to bring people with you. *wink wink*)

Here is a view of the private pool and the living room.




























Here is another view of the living room, one of the master bedrooms, and the room with the pool table.









































This home is just so beautiful, isn't it?
This is the exact kind of vacation rental home that I would want to stay in.
I hate camping, and hotels and motels are OK for short stays, but if I could truly afford to go on a really nice vacation for two weeks or more somewhere in the US, I would totally go for this exact place, or this exact kind of place, and definitely in the Outer Banks.

I have been hearing for years and years now, about just how awesome and gorgeous it is in the Outer Banks, about how beautiful and peaceful it is there, and that's exactly the kind of vacation that I want to go on.
Somewhere truly beautiful, and somewhere truly peaceful.
This house, the SEAHAWK, just looks so beautiful and so peaceful.
It's nice and big, clean looking, it looks really comfortable, "homey looking", and it has some incredible views of the area that even just looking through the pictures, it makes you want to go there because of how beautiful and peaceful looking it is.

This house is available to rent year round, and of course during "season", it's going to cost more to rent, but the weekly rental rates aren't that bad actually.
I've spent more than the weekly rental cost on airfare to fly the three of us back to Maine for 2 weeks, so it's really not that bad at all.
I don't know why, but I always thought that I couldn't afford to take a vacation to the Outer Banks, but looking at just this home and the rates, it is something that is totally do-able for me to do some one of these days.
Yeah, it's always nice to fly home and visit with family, but I really want to take a vacation some day that is just away from it all, away from everything, just go to a place that I want to go, no stress, no mess, just go and stay in a big, beautiful home, sleep in as late as I want, stay up as late as I want, go for long walks on the beach whenever I would want to, and just relax, just really get away from it all, and leave all of my stress and troubles at home for a week.

I really love this house, I would totally love to stay there for a week someday, just me and the teens taking a relaxing vacation for just one week in a gorgeous home like this.
Some one of these days, I will.
I really will. 

I was told by some technically inclined friends on the local forums, that if I had a  vga cable with audio cord, that I would be able to connect the tv to the internet, and then I'd be able to watch stuff like youtube videos, on the tv,  and do other stuff on it too.
I know that we have widgets on the fios that allow us to use things like Twitter, although I haven't quite figured out how to use it yet.
I admit that it totally confuses me, but I would like to hook up the tv to the internet and be able to do stuff on it, Ive seen it hooked up at friend's houses, and it looks awesome.

One of the reasons that all of the half-siblings and Sebastian thinks it is so great to be at dad's house is because of how cool and fun he is, how much stuff he has, what he does.
He is a singer in a rock band, he has a lot of tattoos, he owns a tattoo shop, he plays on an airsoft (pellet guns) team and has all kinds of gun and gear that he lets the boys all play with, and he has, from what I have heard, has all of the latest game systems.

He has an Xbox 360, (we have that one) and Wii, and a playstation 3, and he has all of the coolest and latest and greatest games to go with them, so all of the boys can sit around and play video games all of the time and not be bothering each other because he has 3 different systems and a computer.

He gets to be the fun parent now that all of the hard work of raising them is over with.
All of the years of potty training, school stuff, field trips, bullies, lost teeth, nightmares, all of the hard parts about raising kids, it's all over with now that they are teenagers, he doesn't really have to do much, they are already used to going to school, they've lost all of their baby teeth, they pretty much don't have nightmares anymore, they are definitely potty trained, it's all done and taken care of so he gets to be the cool and fun parent, it's all fun and games there now.

Why lived with the parent who has rules, makes you do chores,, has some strict rules, when you can go live with the fun parent?

I love playing with my Sims in Sims 3, and now that I have added a better video card and upgraded from 2GB of memory to 4GB of memory, I can get the expansion packs at some point once I've paid off some bills and some other stuff that needs to be paid off by August 23, 201.

Anyway, I love playing with my Sims and one of the things I enjoy doing more than actually playing with the Sim people, is building and decorating houses.
I am really good at it if I do say so myself.
I LOVE building and decorating houses, I can get as wild and as crazy as I like making some houses perfect for my rockstar Sims, or I can make houses extremely elegant for other Sims.
I go all out too, I decorate every single room, I start in one room, and I don't move on to another room until that room is completely decorated, all the furniture in and in the perfect place and position, planst, paintings on the walls, windows, curtains that match the decorations and colors in the room perfectly.
I always start with the bathroom, and I decide what the color scheme is going to be, and I put in the toilet, and because in Sims 3 you can change the default colors and patterns to be any color and pattern that you like, I can even change the color of the toilet, and I usually do.
In one of my rockstar homes, the girl has an all purple colored and themed bathroom.
The toilet is a deep royal purple, the shower is dark lavender with very light pink trim, the sink is a medium purple with the same violet colored chrome faucets as the faucet and shower-head as the shower, the tiled floor is a mosaic with the colors of the toilet, sink, and shower.
I add the lighting next, and I change the lampshade and light fixtures to match the rest of the fixtures and items in the bathroom.

I do that same thing in every room, decide on the color and theme, and then work on the room, going over every inch of the room until it is absolutely perfect, and you know the room is perfect when you click on play and allow your Sim to see the house.
They will walk room to room, go to the items like plants and paintings, and either applaud or make an angry face, and in their mood mete, it will show a happy face along with a painting and a chair, and both items will have like a sparkle image on them, and when you hover over it, it says that your Sim loves their home and nice items, and this will keep them in a good mood when they are at home, and every time they walk into the house from being outside or at a downtown location, their mood mete instantly goes up.

Speaking of outdoors, I even decorate their whole property.
I start in the front yard and work my way around the whole property adding bushes, trees, swimming pools, lawn furniture, I get them an awesome car and park it in their driveway, and I also add lighting, and the game even has some lighting that just looks like brinkmann lights, so I place those to the outside of the house and some more lighting in the yard as well so they can have parties outdoors at night.
Have some friends over for a pool party, grill up some burgers, invite everyone to sit around the picnic table to eat, and then when it gets darker, sit around the fire pit and roast marshmallows.

It may not be an industrial computer, but I finally (been thinking about buying 1 since school started up back in August) ordered the netbook that I've been wanting to get for Sebastian, and I have been talking about it on my other blog, and debating with myself for months and months and months.
YAY!!!
I Twittered about getting the really awesome deal that I got thanks to Verizon, I mean, really, it's a totally sweet deal, how could I not publicly thank them?

The netbook is actually a really great one for the price.
HP Mini 110 series

• • Black Swirl
• • Genuine Windows XP Home with Service Pack 3
• • Intel(R) Atom(TM) Processor N270 (1.60GHz, 512KB L2, 533Mhz FSB)
• • 1GB DDR2 System Memory (1 Dimm)
• • 160GB 5400RPM SATA Hard Drive
• • Intel(R) Graphics Media Accelerator 950 with a 5-in-1 Digital Media slot
• • 10.1" diagonal WSVGA LED Anti-glare Widescreen Display (1024 x 600)
• • HP Mini Webcam with HP Imprint Finish (Swirl)
• • Wireless-G Card
• • HP Color Matching Keyboard
• • 3 Cell Lithium Ion Battery
• • Microsoft(R) Works 9.0

When I got Fios installed back in July, Verizon told me that in 3 months, if I paid the bill on time and in full for those first 3 months, I would receive a gift certificate for $299.00 to buy anything that I wanted from a certain website, so my gift certificate came about a month ago, and I finally used it tonight.
The netbook's price was exactly $299.00, and then I bought a mouse and a carrying case for it.
The mouse was $12.79, the case was, $11.99, they had 20% off of them individually, not 20% off if I bought both together, but 20% off of them by themselves, and then I had to pay for shipping for all 3 items.
The subtotal was $324.77, shipping was $19.00, Florida tax was 24.07, making the grand total $367.84.
The $299.00 gift certificate was applied and so I only had to pay $67.85 in total.
I LOVE an awesome bargain like this!
W00t!! W00t!!


Today like around 9am or so, I am going to go to the pharmacy and pick up the scripts that are waiting for me, then go do the grocery shopping, and then tomorrow, I get to go see my other doctor and tell him about the issues that I am having with my feet and hope that it isn't diabetic neuropathy, because if it is, I know that he's going to put me on insulin and I don't want to be on insulin.
I don't have a problem with needles, no problem with needles at all.
It's that having to take insulin will further restrict me and what little freedom I have left.
Because of all of the health issues that I have right now, I am truly a prisoner in my own home because of my own freaking messed-up body.
Having to take insulin will just make me even more of a prisoner.
I know that calling myself a prisoner isn't good, but it's how I feel, my life is so restricted, I can hardly do anything because of the constant pain that I am in, being forced to watch myself, test my blood sugars constantly, will just make that feeling even stronger.
It sucks.

I took my 9th dose of Elavil tonight, and I think that it IS starting to work.
I am starting to not get as emotional as I have been over the last few months, and I know this because while Mark was playing his game, WoW, the person who is part of the problems I am currently having with my family, popped up in the private chat system and started talking to him about it again.
Mark knows that she is lying about what is going on, so he decided to test her, to see if she would lie again.
Mark had read the email from my parents that said if we go to Maine, that we are not welcome to stay with them at their house while we are there, that we can only visit for 1 day, it was my mother's words, her email sent to me, and he knows exactly what that email said,
so he wanted to see if she would lie about me/it again, and she did.

Mark asked her why Ninny and Pop-pop do not want us to stay with them, and she replied back that they never said that, that I am twisting my mother's words around.
Mark replied to her that he read my mother's email, that I did not twist anything around, that is what it said, and that they also said it to Sebastian when he called to ask why we couldn't stay with them.
She then told Mark that Sebastian is lying, that my parents never said that, but he hung up on them before they could finish what they were trying to tell him.
Mark then told her that wasn't true either, that he was listening to Sebastian on the phone, he heard his grandfather say that we could not stay when we visit, and that Sebastian did not hang up on them. Pop-pop said that he needed to go take a shower and then get ready for bed, Sebastian said ok, I love you, and Pop-pop said it back to him, that he loved him, and good-bye, Sebastian said good-bye, and they both hung up together.
She did not reply, so Mark asked if she got the message, she said yes, but still insisted that I twisted my parents words around and that Sebastian did hang up on them, and then she logged out of the game.

Mark called me into the room to tell me what just happened, and he was really angry that she lied again, and he wanted me to read their exchange.
I couldn't read the words on the screen, the font is too small and it's in pink, so he read it to me, his words to her, her words back, I followed along the screen the best that I could, and then he said he couldn't believe she just lied again, he was really hurt and really angry that she is lying, like super pissed off that she lied again.
Then he said that he was really sorry for doubting me about the lies that have been going on, that he wasn't sure who to believe, but now he saw it with his own eyes, she is lying, she lied to him when he knows the truth about what my parents said in the email, that I did not twist their words around, and that Sebastian did not hang up on them, he knows the truth and he is really sorry that he ever doubted me.

A week ago this would have torn me up pretty bad, I would have begun bawling my eyes out, I would have started yelling and screaming about it all, but I didn't this time.
Instead, I asked him to stand up, I gave him a huge hug and told him that I am so sorry that all of this is happening and that if I knew a way to make it all end, that I would stop it immediately, but I don't know how to make it stop, I have no idea how to make everyone else see that lies are being told.
He hugged me back and told me that it was ok, he wiped away the few tears that were falling down my face, and he told me that someday everyone will learn the truth about all of this, that they will see that I am not the one lying, that I am not doing illegal drugs, that I and not the cause of all of this.
Then he said that he was really sorry for ever calling her, that all he wanted was just a few days away from me, a break from it all because I was a mess, I was crying all of the time for days, that he and Sebastian just wanted a break because they didn't know how to help me feel better, they were scared, and tired, and worried, that is all, they never wanted what is happening, that if they knew that wanting a break was going to cause all of this, make my parents not want to see me or speak to me ever again, that they never would have asked for any help, that they would have just hung in there until my doctor's appointment a week away. 

I could see that he was really upset and really sorry, he was all teary eyed and hugging me so tightly I thought he was going to break my ribs.
Last week this would have really ripped me up, I would have been screaming about how this is all just so wrong, I would have been crying like crazy, but tonight I just hugged him back and told him it was ok, that it was all going to be ok eventually, and that I do NOT blame him and Sebastian for any of this, it's not their fault at all, and that I loved him very, very much.
He stopped hugging me, wiped away his tears and then mine, and told me that he loved me very much too.

I am just so sorry that all of this is happening, I really do wish that I knew a way to make it all stop, but I don't.
I just have to wait it out, hope that someday everyone will realize that these are all really vicious lies, and that none of it is true at all.
I want my sons to stop hurting, I want them to be ok, to be loved and welcomed by their family, but until the lies get cleared up, that we are just going to have to forget it all, just do what we need to do as a family, keep our little family together and going.
It's all that we can do, it's all that I can do, I need to be here for my sons, and so yeah, I do think that the antidepressant is really starting to work, I am not as emotional as I was, I have a better grip on the situation, and so that is a good thing.
I'm still not "happy", I am still carrying a lot of anger and guilt, but with the counseling and the antidepressant, I think that those things will get better in time.

I knew that I would not be able to get Mark that HP notebook that Buy.com had on their weekly special, it's not on sale this week plus I didn't have the money, but I really don't need to worry.
They have a whole section of their site specifically devoted to laptop deals .
That's pretty freaking awesome.
They have every possible brand, every possible size, and every possible price range, and many of them on sale at some really incredibly low prices.
So I know that when I need to get him a laptop in the fall for college, I will be able to find him a really good one at a really good price from them. They make it so incredibly easy to find just the right one, he'll even be able to pick a color on certain brands and models if he wants to.

I started shopping at Buy.com years ago, like back in 2004 or 2005.
I started shopping with them because I was doing paid surveys for a company, and at the time, they only paid in Buy.com gift certificates, they now pay through paypal and Buy.com gift certificates, so that's cool they offer a choice now, but I still take the gift certificates.
I would cash out my gift certs from the site, they only gave us so many days to redeem them at Buy.com, and then I would just let them build up until I had a lot of them, and then I'd go shopping.
I've been loving shopping with them ever since.
I love their low prices, their fast shipping, and the fact that they have free shipping on almost every single item that they sell.
Not too many other online retailers offer free shipping on so many items, heck, most don't offer free shipping on hardly anything unless you spend like a minimum of $25.
At Buy.com, I bought a $6.99 DVD, and got free shipping, so yeah, I'll shop there over other retailers any day, especially when it comes time to get Mark his laptop because those suckers are wicked heavy and if I had to pay shipping, it would be like super freaking expensive.